CrazyMary
Student
- Sep 20, 2020
- 135
Hi:
I started going to a psychiatrist 11 months ago. I asked her not to give me benzos, she did. She changed medication so often, she even confessed she felt like stumbling in the darkness. She diagnosed me with depression then she change to border then changed to sociopath and other disorders. Then she gave me a lithium substitute. She begged me for giving her a one last try with those meths. It didn´t work AT ALL. Since the beginning I didn´t feel much empathy or connection with her, but was the first one I could get and I was at a VERY HIGH risk of killing myself. Last March, April and all the way to October I was so close to doing it. I prepared SN did the regime and just need it to drink it. But SI kicked in and that´s why I am still here. After the last attempt and seeing her 3 months passed I went to another doctor. My life has changed since then. No benzos anymore, no sleeping pills, I changed to another antidepressant, and stopped taking the lithium substitute. I am feeling better every week. My problems are still there, but I manage to fight them on different ways. I learned I will beat them with time patience and working hard to overcome it. I know I will be fine. I almost never think about leaving this earth on purpose anymore and if I do it´s just for a second. I stopped working at a place that I was not happy at nor appreciated and I am looking at different possibilities now. No steady job but I know I will get it soon.
The idea I want to share with you is IF YOU DON´T FEEL A CONNECTION WITH YOUR DOCTOR OR FEEL LIKE SOMETHING IS WRONG THEN CHANGE DOCTORS!!! I don´t mean change doctor´s every 2 weeks, GIve it a try, a really one. But if from the start it´s not going well, don´t waste your time. In my case giving her second and third chances almost cost me my life. I can´t imagine how I would feel by now if I didn´t waste 7 months of my life with her. I guess we will know in 7 months!
Don´t loose faith, things can change in some cases. If you need someone to talk about this I am here.
I started going to a psychiatrist 11 months ago. I asked her not to give me benzos, she did. She changed medication so often, she even confessed she felt like stumbling in the darkness. She diagnosed me with depression then she change to border then changed to sociopath and other disorders. Then she gave me a lithium substitute. She begged me for giving her a one last try with those meths. It didn´t work AT ALL. Since the beginning I didn´t feel much empathy or connection with her, but was the first one I could get and I was at a VERY HIGH risk of killing myself. Last March, April and all the way to October I was so close to doing it. I prepared SN did the regime and just need it to drink it. But SI kicked in and that´s why I am still here. After the last attempt and seeing her 3 months passed I went to another doctor. My life has changed since then. No benzos anymore, no sleeping pills, I changed to another antidepressant, and stopped taking the lithium substitute. I am feeling better every week. My problems are still there, but I manage to fight them on different ways. I learned I will beat them with time patience and working hard to overcome it. I know I will be fine. I almost never think about leaving this earth on purpose anymore and if I do it´s just for a second. I stopped working at a place that I was not happy at nor appreciated and I am looking at different possibilities now. No steady job but I know I will get it soon.
The idea I want to share with you is IF YOU DON´T FEEL A CONNECTION WITH YOUR DOCTOR OR FEEL LIKE SOMETHING IS WRONG THEN CHANGE DOCTORS!!! I don´t mean change doctor´s every 2 weeks, GIve it a try, a really one. But if from the start it´s not going well, don´t waste your time. In my case giving her second and third chances almost cost me my life. I can´t imagine how I would feel by now if I didn´t waste 7 months of my life with her. I guess we will know in 7 months!
Don´t loose faith, things can change in some cases. If you need someone to talk about this I am here.
