Does your reason for ctb shift?

[Ambivalent1]

My health problems were the reason and now it seems the final straw might be the realization I have nothing else I want to do anymore. I've already read a lot, watched a lot of tv and movies, dabbled in video games awhile back. Nothing outside interests me. Relationships or hookups aren't possible and I'm not sure i'd want it anymore.

 

[jbear824]

I have three or four main reasons why I want to CTB. Everyday is like dartboard of which one is gonna make me want to kill myself that day.

 

[EyesOfNight]

I just cycle through my reasons to CTB depending on what state I'm in, what my day-to-day looks like, and what external stimuli I am being fed or am feeding myself. It's usually either me not being able to make a good life for myself, me not functioning the way I'm expected to or want to, or not wanting to slave away every day for the rest of my life.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

No, my reason is always the same, that existence is undesirable for me

 

[peacefulexit]

Nope. Having health problems makes life not worth living.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Not really. My main reason to CTB is because I hate myself. Now I have plenty of reasons to hate myself but ultimately any other reason I might have, like say because I've never felt the intimate touch of a woman, also stems from the fact I hate myself. I am fully aware that any problems I have are all my own fault and that is why I feel I should be allowed to get revenge on the individual responsible for my suffering, and he is me.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Nope. Having health problems makes life not worth living.

Which ones do you have?

 

[peacefulexit]

Which ones do you have?

Peyronie's Disease is the worst one.

 

[Tokugawa_Yoshinobu]

Yes. Originally it was out of shame and guilt and now it's for economic reasons/not having a good life to live.

 

[BlessedBeTheFlame]

At first it was bullying, then it was realizing I have no chance at achieving my dreams. Now it's the fact I realized I'm a vile and disgusting subhuman for my orientation. It's disgusting and makes me a vile parasite. I must die. I must die, since everyone wants me dead. That's all I ever think about. I must ctb, since it's what everyone expects of me.

 

[Unknown21]

My health problems were the reason and now it seems the final straw might be the realization I have nothing else I want to do anymore. I've already read a lot, watched a lot of tv and movies, dabbled in video games awhile back. Nothing outside interests me. Relationships or hookups aren't possible and I'm not sure i'd want it anymore.

For me, my reasons have not changed. I still want to end my life because I am poor and live in a third world country. My psychological traumas, childhood abuse, and my autism. I do not want to grow old and reach old age. I don't want to do anything in life, and nothing interests me anymore. I feel hopeless about the world, life, and people. I don't fit into society and I can't engage in it. I face great difficulties in dealing with others.

 

[Ambivalent1]

For me, my reasons have not changed. I still want to end my life because I am poor and live in a third world country. My psychological traumas, childhood abuse, and my autism. I do not want to grow old and reach old age. I don't want to do anything in life, and nothing interests me anymore. I feel hopeless about the world, life, and people. I don't fit into society and I can't engage in it. I face great difficulties in dealing with others.

Why doesn't anything interest you anymore? When did that start?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

My reason (and it's always the same!) is financial/economic related, poor outlook for my future after a big failure. It's always the same that triggers my wish to CTB.

 

[dinosavr]

Well, it started off with depression and no specific reason and now it's just aware that basically no life is worth living unless you enjoy it.

 

[Unknown21]

Why doesn't anything interest you anymore? When did that start?

Since childhood, I have been isolated. I do not want to mix with people. I am not interested in being in a friendship or relationship with a girl friend.
But there were some things that interested me, such as video games, anime, and cartoons, some sports such as football, reading, studying science and delving deeper into it, and travel.
When I reached the age of 18, my existential crises began to control me. My childhood trauma began to have a stronger and more influential effect on my mind. At that time, all my interests disappeared except for a few things like anime Browsing the Internet and reading.
After that, I became nihilist and lost the meaning of life in the first place, and all my hopes became death as quickly as possible. Of course, my difficult financial circumstances contributed to all of this, and my depression became deeper and more severe as time passed. And here I am waiting until i end all this suffering soon.

 

[FuneralCry]

Not really, I'll always wish to ctb because existing doesn't appeal to me. I have no interest in being burdened with this existence for decades on end just to be tormented by old age and die anyway, existence itself is the problem and I see suicide as the way to prevent all future unnecessary suffering.

I could never be able to understand why one would wish to exist especially as existence is so cruel, futile and hellish with no limit as to how much one can suffer. To me existing is very undesirable in general, wanting suicide is all that makes sense to me and feels rational, in fact I only see non-existence is ideal.