Does your partner, wife,husband know you want to CTB?

[mortuarymary]

To the ones out there that are married or living with a partner or in some sort of relationship. Does your other 1/2 know you want to CTB?
Mine found out properly in July last year. I've never let anyone sit in on a session with my CPN but this time I did. What he heard not only shocked him to the core but he couldn't believe how well I'd faked being happy. He sat there crying.
He knows about SaSu, he knows I take far more benzodiazepines than I should but nothing changed really.
He spoken himself of a time he wanted to CTB when his ex wouldn't let him see the kids during a nasty divorce and he couldn't live without seeing them. He's the strongest person I know but even they deep down have feelings. He probably speaks to my CPN Emma more than I do as she annoys me.

 

[HouseofMortok]

My partner knew for some time now and has seen me deteriorate over this time and I've done nothing for my half of a relationship which ultimately lead to a recent breakdown and breakup as she needs something from it, I just haven't given her any attention for months, just trapped in my thoughts, it's still not hit me now so I must be broken, it hasn't registered at all and I've no income and benefits denied when i tried for help to become independent as that system stinks the UK and so I'm facing homelessness and seem to be letting it slip into that as the final straw to do the deed and CTB.

Hypothermia or Tourniquet options out there in the cold. My personality isn't cut for sitting in doorways being around people and holding hand out, I'll be in the forest somewhere near that I've got a sheltered spot for, but I'll never eat or be able to drink, cos I'll never ask people for help, so a few things to add to the suffering of what homelessness is for me. No teeth or proper fitting dentures either as thats been recent work thats now delayed due to everything. Gummy mess.

She's distraught and I've no emotion to it, I don't feel Autistic (34 diagnosed, now 35) haven't even bothered to research my own illness, not that its an illness anyways, I feel Austism have superior thought processes over your every day joe. Anyways I feel like a Pyscho with no emotion, no care in the world, shrug shoulders to the problems like they don't exist. Real stubborn and dug into this pit.

 

[mortuarymary]

He's had no attention either and we sleep in different rooms. I've no sexual drive. The drugs have dulled all of that. I think my ideal scenario if it was to happen would be to still sort of be together but live apart. He spent 3 weeks walking over Scotland and I loved being on my own.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

the closest person to me knows. this friend also knows about sasu.
initially she was....annoyed about it and stuff and the usual "its not the answer" thing but after a while, it toned down.
she respects the decision but doesnt agree with it.
dont have either wife or partner so that's good.

 

[mortuarymary]

the closest person to me knows. this friend also knows about sasu.
initially she was....annoyed about it and stuff and the usual "its not the answer" thing but after a while, it toned down.
she respects the decision but doesnt agree with it.
dont have either wife or partner so that's good.

I think the only worry my partner had with sasu was how easy it was to get on here. He's a teacher, so he's with kids all day. He's had pupils with suicidal thoughts etc.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

I think the only worry my partner had with sasu was how easy it was to get on here. He's a teacher, so he's with kids all day. He's had pupils with suicidal thoughts etc.

true, that's what my friend said as well, she looked at the post sometimes because she wanted to try and understand.
She was.. afraid? for me a bit and she said so, seeing as how im logged in almost daily.

 

[mortuarymary]

true, that's what my friend said as well, she looked at the post sometimes because she wanted to try and understand.
She was.. afraid? for me a bit and she said so, seeing as how im logged in almost daily.

I'm a tad addicted too.