Discussion Does venting actually make you feel better?

[bunny:3]

More about self-harm

Long story short, I went to a friend's house for once, their parents were away and it was just the two of us. We talked about various things, it was light-hearted at first but things took a left turn and I ended up telling them about some traumatic events. Of course they promised not to tell and I thought that it would feel better to get some things off my chest. Well that wasn't the case at all, now I feel paranoid as hell and everything keeps reminding me about those things. I haven't cut for months, it's my new record but I'm starting to reconsider it

What do you think?

 

[kuchenn1238]

well it used to, but now it's just frustrating as hell and i always end up crying

 

[FuneralCry]

To answer the question the only venting I've ever done is been the posts on this site and I wouldn't say it makes me feel better, it doesn't make me feel anything, it's just writing down my thoughts about existing.

 

[Cage]

If your friend's a good friend they won't tell anyone :)

That being said I agree with you and everyone else here, venting to people doesn't do much for me. Mostly because I don't actually have shit to vent about; I'm privileged and live a good stable life with a loving family, but my reasons for wanting to CTB revolve around the fact that I'm complete failure and dumbass despite all my advantages in life. Trying to articulate that to anyone in my life is just out of the question, but even putting that aside, I don't like talking about my day-to-day grievances because it's just burdening other people. They all got their own shit going on, most of it far worse than mine, so there's no reason for me to vocalize it.

 

[Orange Cat]

Sometimes it can make me feel a little relief temporarily, but it doesn't really help in the long run.
The problem is that venting doesn't solve any of my problems. It just reminds me of them instead. It gets old fast.

 

[HollowDrop]

Not really. Though sometimes just getting to express my feelings does give a slight relief but it is very temporary. For me it's probably more about feeling heard since people have not believed me all my life.

I sincerely hope your friend will keep their word, and it's nice that you at least have someone who would listen to you.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

In my personal experience, not once have I ever vented to someone and felt better afterwards. There is only shame and regret. And the assumption that it will be used against me at some point in the future. Even worse now that in the last year or two I have made the mistake of venting to a stranger or two while impaired. Always a mistake. And also probably very wrong to do to other people. I wish it was different. And I would want to make someone feel like they could tell me anything without it ever leaving the vault but I've never been on the other side of that experience

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It depends but sometimes venting can make me feel better for some time though it may not solve the actual problem. It's good to have a place where I can say everything without being judged or confronted with toxic positivity.

 

[LostInTheWoods]

Lately I've found out that is I vent too much I start thinking about that problem much more so I stopped a bit

 

[glitterypearls]

It used to, but now I put myself in the other person shoes. if someone was venting to me, would it make me uncomfortable? so whenever I started to think of that I stopped venting. I don't want to make people uncomfortable and most people wouldn't understand it or know how to help you.

 

[ManByTheRiver]

Never did, I just always felt guilty bothering other people with my problems. I know they're not bothered and that I can talk if I want to. Venting was always just a way for me to process the thoughts I had, but now I do it alone which provides comparable results with practice.