Does the monotony of life ever go away?

[White_Room293]

It seems like it's just work, sleep and die. What's the fucking point? I mean I know there is none and you make your own path but this is just annoying that you have to do all this shit just to make a living. I'm not crazy and I refuse to cave into this world's bullshit. I won't change for anyone anymore and no matter what anyone says to me I'm going to dig my heels in. I am a product of my own environment and I refuse to listen to people that call me an asshole or self obsessed. Most people are pieces of shit and I don't need to form any of my value from them. I really am just unsure of everything and I don't want to deal with the unknown and deal with the struggle. Just because I'm 19 doesn't invalidate how I feel or make my decisions less reasonable. I have all the support in the world from my parents but I still feel the same. I'm just tired of it all sometimes but I keep going for whatever reason. I'm tired of dealing with this shit and knowing I'm always going to get handed more shit from life.

 

[Darkhaven]

I wonder the very same question.
I'm 22 and the last 10 years of my life have been lived 90% on the sole confinement of my bedroom.
Monotony has been the staple of my life.
Used to be a routine of school》home.
Now it's home》train》college and back and forth.
Didn't hang out with people outside of school/college not even once in this period.
Never went out hanging out at night, have a drink or whatever it is people of my age do.
It has been horrible.
Just as you said, it's living to die...

 

[White_Room293]

I wonder the very same question.
I'm 22 and the last 10 years of my life have been lived 90% on the sole confinement of my bedroom.
Monotony has been the staple of my life.
Used to be a routine of school》home.
Now it's home》train》college and back and forth.
Didn't hang out with people outside of school/college not even once in this period.
Never went out hanging out at night, have a drink or whatever it is people of my age do.
It has been horrible.
Just as you said, it's living to die...

I am scared every time I think about losing parental support because everything just comes crashing down.I only now see why people use religions and gods to cope with life in the last year of my life. I hang out with people and sleep around but I still feel the same deep down. It seems like all these things are distractions to the bullshit of life. The funny thing is there are brief moments where it seems worth it if you drink liquor or do something to completely forget. I usually play video games or jerk off to get that feeling. The sad part is it's getting me nowhere. I know I can get a job and I know I can do things but I don't know if I can deal with corporate america, procrastination potentially destroying me, mental illness, and a bunch of other shit life throws at me.

 

[Sweet emotion]

It depends. For me, no. I'm physically sick so I know what is going to happen before it even happens. Every day is the same as the next. Nothing changes except for the pain getting worse and the isolation making me more depressed. For most people it's wake up, go to work, come homez cook dinner for your family, sex, go to bed. And repeat. Unless you're an actor or musician or have a ton of money and free time to get away that's life. It's up to us to make life exciting. It's up to us to make ourselves happy by choosing what we do, where we go, the people we surround ourselves with. But if we have mental problems then that affects our choices. I was very happy before I got sick. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life which was the main pressure. I hated school. I hated everything about studying and feeling trapped in a classroom. Sometimes I actually got so restless I had to leave the room in college because I couldn't do it.