Discussion does someone truly love you if they won't let you die?

[indica]

discuss

 

[Foresight]

Yes. Someone having an intense fear of losing you doesn't mean they don't love you. We're human. We're vulnerable and we operate on a full spectrum of emotions. The presence of fear or longing doesn't negate the presence of love. If anything, it often goes hand-in-hand. It's a flawed feature in some circumstances but it's a trade-off to having someone love you deeply who is subject to other emotions and hopes as well.

 

[indica]

you chose other @IWillSmileWhenIDie do you care to elaborate

 

[IWillSmileWhenIDie]

you chose other @IWillSmileWhenIDie do you care to elaborate

yeah sure, it depends on what you mean by letting die, if the person is totally sure they wanna die by my definition of love they don't love you, they may feel atachment fear who knows not love. But if it is tryin to prevent and hear you and support you see if you can and want to go on living but ultimately understanding your decition and letting you go then yeah I think that's love for me, I hope dear people to me would act like that, that's also why I don't think most if any truly love me :)

 

[Rogue Proxy]

This topic reminds me of the phrase "If you truly love someone, you must let them go." I don't interpret the "letting go" part as completely forgetting about the individual or no longer experiencing (negative) emotions about their departure. My interpretation refers to allowing the individual to leave your life (e.g. moving away, breaking up, divorcing, going no-contact, dying, ect.) without obstructing or manipulating them from their exit in any way.

Since unconditional love doesn't exist, relationships appear to be based on possession and utility. The more "useful" an individual is (e.g. providing entertainment, staving off loneliness, bolstering someone's image, ego, social status, purpose, and meaning; introducing them to new experiences, information, and/or opportunities; providing material possessions and/or labor; ect.), the stronger the other's desire is to keep them close as long as possible. This results in the other's strong opposition of losing the individual, even to the point of disregarding their needs and wishes.

Therefore, my vote for this poll is "No."

 

[Hercules]

Yes of course they do. When someone loves you, they don't want you to die. Even when someone is old or sick and they are expected to die soon, it is hard for people to accept this and let the person go.

I would say that if you told someone that you were planning on ctb, and they are ok with this and tell you to go ahead, then they don't love you. If they loved you, they would at least talk to you to see what is going on in your life that has you considering ctb. They would try to get you some help for your problems and see if your situation can improve, so you wouldn't have to ctb.

 

[wait.what]

Not really, no. I suppose it might be different if we didn't all eventually die anyway. As things are, when you refuse to let someone go, you're really telling them: "Noooo! You're not allowed to die on your own terms. You have to die on MINE!" This is not a particularly loving thing to say. I realize a lot of people would want to insert a God into the equation somewhere, but you know who does the voice acting for the God character? That would also be you.

 

[lostmyacc]

Depends on context. Some people may want you to not die because they can't accept that your pain is real.

They may also want you to stay so they can have a buddy to chat to on occasion and lonely themselves in case of co-dependency.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do see it as selfish, not allowing someone to die. To me, the right to die should always be respected. I do think that if someone loves anything, it is hard to let go. Trying to force someone to live can be because of love, if someone loves another person they do not want to lose them. So I do think that someone can truly love you if they will not let you die, but of course the person is only thinking about what is best for themselves though, rather than what is best for the suicidal person.

 

[Insomniac]

On a rational level, I'm prochoice.

But not emotionally. If someone close to me support my decision to die I'd feel mortified and heartbroken. This is just the sad truth. Sorry for being human and therefore an hypocrite.

 

[Symbiote]

No, does the doctor or nurse, first responders have to save your life because they love you? No it's their duty to save your life because of human and moral obligations. My wife won't let me die not because she really loves me, that's secondary to the moral beliefs that she holds that all human life should be saved.

 

[whitefeather]

Love in "The Matrix"

 

[WorthlessTrash]

It's an interesting question. On one hand, your loved one could be blinded by love and are selfish to want you to live for that very reason, but on the other hand, if you are suffering so much, they should want you to do whatever is needed to relieve yourself of suffering if they really love you.

We put the animals down that we love when they are suffering too much, after all.

 

[Seeking_Peace]

Real love is letting them go. They live for themselves not you and vice versa.

 

[Darkover]

if you love someone and they want to leave you help them pack

 

[Forever Sleep]

Quite a few of my family members really suffered at the end. My Dad has always said to me- 'Of course you miss them but you wouldn't want them back if they had to endure the pain they were in at the end- it was a release for them to go.'

I think if you truly love someone, you can't bear to see them in pain. I guess that's where the difficulty lies though- in judging a person's pain.

I think the majority of people would sympathise with someone wanting to end things because of a terminal illness with constant pain.

With mental illness, I think people struggle to sympathise as much. Mental illness/pain seems more misunderstood and I think people see it as something far easier to overcome rather than physical illness.

So I guess suicide looks to them like a choice to leave rather than make the effort to stay. Almost like a balance- their love may not be enough to balance someone being in constant physical pain but I guess they think it should outweigh our depression. Maybe that we don't love them enough to try to pull ourselves out of it.

 

[Musketeer]

no! simple if your in pain and they still don't want to let you go they do not love you, love and compassion are two sides of the same coin. I could not call the police on a suffering suicidal family member. I could not bring myself to intervene if they were in the act.

 

[6ftunder]

It depends on the situation. There is no blanket answer for every situation.

It's natural for people to not want you to die, but if you're going through pain and face an uncomfortable death (cancer) then euthanasia is merciful.

 

[Silent_cries]

I picked other bc I'd say it depends on the reason ppl don't want you to die, but in most cases, yes, coz it's hard to loose something that's dear to you, wether it's fair or not.