Venting Does someone have alexithymia? *Difficulty understanding and expressing emotions

[amor.dor]

Lately, I've been thinking about my difficulty with emotions. Why don't I feel emotions like other people? I perceive emotions — it's something that's even hard to express. I've always been very misunderstood because I always seemed cold or disinterested. My distant gaze doesn't help either, since I always look expressionless.

Does anyone go through something similar? How do you deal with it? What has helped you?

 

[Xi-Xi]

Aiyaa-

I do too, sister. I have a resting bitch face, it is really hard for me to convey emotions. I can't experience empathy or remorse at all, and all other emotions are severely muted for me.

I usually just avoid people to help with it, since there's no need to distress over emotions if there's nothing to make you feel them. But, that's obviously bad for you, so I dunno

 

[whiskeyblanket]

I have alexithymia too. For me, it's so extreme that I only perceive emotions as physical sensations--usually nausea, muscle tension, or headaches. I sometimes have no idea whether I've eaten something that didn't sit right or I'm sad/nervous/angry.

I used to try to logic my way through each sensation in attempt to ascertain what the feeling really was and why I was experiencing it, but that only made it worse. Now, I typically just ignore all feelings and get on with things. Definitely not healthy (I'm on a suicide forum for a reason after all) but it's the only thing that even kind of works. It doesn't help that emotions of any kind (positive or negative) viscerally repulse me.

People used to call me cold. Then, I learned how to play a character, or mask, if you will. It comes at a cost though.

 

[amor.dor]

I have alexithymia too. For me, it's so extreme that I only perceive emotions as physical sensations--usually nausea, muscle tension, or headaches. I sometimes have no idea whether I've eaten something that didn't sit right or I'm sad/nervous/angry.

I used to try to logic my way through each sensation in attempt to ascertain what the feeling really was and why I was experiencing it, but that only made it worse. Now, I typically just ignore all feelings and get on with things. Definitely not healthy (I'm on a suicide forum for a reason after all) but it's the only thing that even kind of works. It doesn't help that emotions of any kind (positive or negative) viscerally repulse me.

People used to call me cold. Then, I learned how to play a character, or mask, if you will. It comes at a cost though.

Do you have any clinical diagnosis? I've been reading and it seems alexithymia is related to autism.

 

[Kokonoe]

Lately, I've been thinking about my difficulty with emotions. Why don't I feel emotions like other people? I perceive emotions — it's something that's even hard to express. I've always been very misunderstood because I always seemed cold or disinterested. My distant gaze doesn't help either, since I always look expressionless.

Does anyone go through something similar? How do you deal with it? What has helped you?

I don't have alexithymia, so maybe I shouldn't be replying in this thread, but the sentence "Why don't I feel emotions like other people?" really stood out to me. I have that exact struggle and it's one of the things that makes daily life so difficult.

I have DID (dissociative identity disorder), so a lot of the time it's not at all straightforward to even be aware of what I'm feeling, or why I'm feeling it, or where it's coming from, things like that. Because how am I supposed to immediately understand and be aware of emotions that aren't even mine?

For me, long-term therapy work and work that I do on my own time to understand my disorder and organize everything about it has helped me a lot. From mapping out the system, journaling daily, making a habit out of writing down who is fronting and when as soon as i realize it, taking time to understand each alter's trauma and why they exist, and how that makes them tick..

It's still really difficult and does just make my life worse overall. Often times I still can't understand our feelings at all. But at least it is something that is somewhat manageable these days.

 

[whiskeyblanket]

Do you have any clinical diagnosis? I've been reading and it seems alexithymia is related to autism.

I don't, but since alexithymia is not in and of itself a clinical diagnosis, I feel comfortable enough ascribing the term to my own experiences.

That being said, I wouldn't be surprised if I would qualify for an ASD diagnosis. When I was a kid, they weren't diagnosing nearly as many people as nowadays, though I had (and continue to have, in some ways) a lot of of the symptoms. However, I've had no real need to seek out a diagnosis as an adult.

 

[BeanCurd]

I haven't been diagnosed, but I suspect I do. I recently-ish started therapy and have been exploring it with my therapist a tiny bit. She seemed optimistic it's something we can work on so... maybe there's hope, idk. If I have any breakthroughs I'll try and remember to let you know haha.