Does not being able to function properly one of the reason you need to go ?

[StillWaiting]

The constant fear of people judging how useless and dumb I am because of I can't function properly is one of the reason why I feel the need to go.

I tried my best but just not good enough to keep up with the people around me. Lost sight of everything since the past few years . Does anyone else feel the same or am I just weak ?

 

[alexithymia]

I feel the exact same way as you. I feel like I don't function at the same level as everyone else. I don't feel right for this world.

You are not alone.

 

[Mr2005]

It is and it's also one of the reasons it's not that easy

 

[Darkhaven]

Yeah, i get extremely frustrated by looking at other people's lives through social media and witnessing that they are doing alright, they are having professional sucess and are, you know, making something good out of their lives: have happy relationships, go having dinners with friends, travell to all those beatiful places full of sunny beaches and tropical islands, all the while i'm here on my bedroom 24/7 bored and depressed ruminating on dreadful thoughts and on the distant past, digging up past life events and get paranoid about them.
And time is passing fast, soon my 4 years of university will expire and my parents will expect me to start looking for work. Looking for work? I barely can greet a person outside of the house without getting all anxious and shaky, how the hell will i find a job? I'm soooooo tired of this! I needed a miracle, a joker to pull out of my sleeve and get away from this house and all of this pressures.

 

[Sweet emotion]

The constant fear of people judging how useless and dumb I am because of I can't function properly is one of the reason why I feel the need to go.

I tried my best but just not good enough to keep up with the people around me. Lost sight of everything since the past few years . Does anyone else feel the same or am I just weak ?

When you say function properly, you mean mentally? Can you give me some examples of what you're talking about? And no that doesn't make you weak.

Yeah, i get extremely frustrated by looking at other people's lives through social media and witnessing that they are doing alright, they are having professional sucess and are, you know, making something good out of their lives: have happy relationships, go having dinners with friends, travell to all those beatiful places full of sunny beaches and tropical islands, all the while i'm here on my bedroom 24/7 bored and depressed ruminating on dreadful thoughts and on the distant past, digging up past life events and get paranoid about them.
And time is passing fast, soon my 4 years of university will expire and my parents will expect me to start looking for work. Looking for work? I barely can greet a person outside of the house without getting all anxious and shaky, how the hell will i find a job? I'm soooooo tired of this! I needed a miracle, a joker to pull out of my sleeve and get away from this house and all of this pressures.

I am so with you there. My life stopped at 20 because of a severely painful physical condition. And as the years went by I would go on Facebook and Instagram and see everyone I knew back when I was healthy living their lives and making something if themselves. Everything they were doing was so foreign to me. Having children and getting engaged. Having baby showers and weddings. Looking at the wedding dresses that I would never try on. Seeing a bunch of people who were all friends hanging out by the pool. It made me sick. I actually got angry looking at their smiles. Because I kept wondering what I did to deserve a life that is so cruel. I don't go looking at that kind of stuff anymore because I makes me more depressed. I see people travelling to it her countires with their husbands which I will never have. I get so upset. I still feel like I'm 20 because when you become sick like I have and have to remain isolated, you kind if stay the age you were when you got sick because you haven't been out in the world and experienced adulthood and matured. So I'm 34 yet I feel like I'm 20. I don't think I could ever hold a conversation with someone my age because I would have nothing in common with them. They'd be talking about their husbands and their children and I'm sure I'd say something stupid. So I can completely relate to your problem. Try not to be so hard on yourself. This is just a suggestion but what if you went to a therapist and they helped you out with your anxiety, social skills, and deoression? I'm not big on therapists myself but when I was 15 and I had a problem with OCD, I saw a wonderful therapist who helped me and I no longer have that problem. It's worth a shot.

The constant fear of people judging how useless and dumb I am because of I can't function properly is one of the reason why I feel the need to go.

I tried my best but just not good enough to keep up with the people around me. Lost sight of everything since the past few years . Does anyone else feel the same or am I just weak ?

I feel awful that you think if yourself so poorly. Have you ever thought about talking to someone? Like a really good therapist who you could tell everything that goes on in your mind and she can give you tools at how to turn the problem around? I'm sure you're not stupid. It's just that you have very low self esteem and I bet you're a great person with a ton of wonderful attrbutes.

 

[StillWaiting]

When you say function properly, you mean mentally? Can you give me some examples of what you're talking about? And no that doesn't make you weak.

I am so with you there. My life stopped at 20 because of a severely painful physical condition. And as the years went by I would go on Facebook and Instagram and see everyone I knew back when I was healthy living their lives and making something if themselves. Everything they were doing was so foreign to me. Having children and getting engaged. Having baby showers and weddings. Looking at the wedding dresses that I would never try on. Seeing a bunch of people who were all friends hanging out by the pool. It made me sick. I actually got angry looking at their smiles. Because I kept wondering what I did to deserve a life that is so cruel. I don't go looking at that kind of stuff anymore because I makes me more depressed. I see people travelling to it her countires with their husbands which I will never have. I get so upset. I still feel like I'm 20 because when you become sick like I have and have to remain isolated, you kind if stay the age you were when you got sick because you haven't been out in the world and experienced adulthood and matured. So I'm 34 yet I feel like I'm 20. I don't think I could ever hold a conversation with someone my age because I would have nothing in common with them. They'd be talking about their husbands and their children and I'm sure I'd say something stupid. So I can completely relate to your problem. Try not to be so hard on yourself. This is just a suggestion but what if you went to a therapist and they helped you out with your anxiety, social skills, and deoression? I'm not big on therapists myself but when I was 15 and I had a problem with OCD, I saw a wonderful therapist who helped me and I no longer have that problem. It's worth a shot.

I feel awful that you think if yourself so poorly. Have you ever thought about talking to someone? Like a really good therapist who you could tell everything that goes on in your mind and she can give you tools at how to turn the problem around? I'm sure you're not stupid. It's just that you have very low self esteem and I bet you're a great person with a ton of wonderful attrbutes.

Examples like unable to get what you want to say across to others, unable to not feel anxious all the time and etc

 

[Darkhaven]

When you say function properly, you mean mentally? Can you give me some examples of what you're talking about? And no that doesn't make you weak.

I am so with you there. My life stopped at 20 because of a severely painful physical condition. And as the years went by I would go on Facebook and Instagram and see everyone I knew back when I was healthy living their lives and making something if themselves. Everything they were doing was so foreign to me. Having children and getting engaged. Having baby showers and weddings. Looking at the wedding dresses that I would never try on. Seeing a bunch of people who were all friends hanging out by the pool. It made me sick. I actually got angry looking at their smiles. Because I kept wondering what I did to deserve a life that is so cruel. I don't go looking at that kind of stuff anymore because I makes me more depressed. I see people travelling to it her countires with their husbands which I will never have. I get so upset. I still feel like I'm 20 because when you become sick like I have and have to remain isolated, you kind if stay the age you were when you got sick because you haven't been out in the world and experienced adulthood and matured. So I'm 34 yet I feel like I'm 20. I don't think I could ever hold a conversation with someone my age because I would have nothing in common with them. They'd be talking about their husbands and their children and I'm sure I'd say something stupid. So I can completely relate to your problem. Try not to be so hard on yourself. This is just a suggestion but what if you went to a therapist and they helped you out with your anxiety, social skills, and deoression? I'm not big on therapists myself but when I was 15 and I had a problem with OCD, I saw a wonderful therapist who helped me and I no longer have that problem. It's worth a shot.

I feel awful that you think if yourself so poorly. Have you ever thought about talking to someone? Like a really good therapist who you could tell everything that goes on in your mind and she can give you tools at how to turn the problem around? I'm sure you're not stupid. It's just that you have very low self esteem and I bet you're a great person with a ton of wonderful attrbutes.

I'm 22 and i already can no longer seem like a normal person when speaking with people of the same age as me.
Even if i tried to fake it it wouldn't work.
Their lives are so different from mine that it's extremely hard to find a conversion point.
For example after summer, when we return to university everyone will be tanned and talking about their wonderful vacations.
At the same time i'm sitting there alone and pale after passing the last 3 summer months on my bedroom, only getting out to go out the garbage on the trash bins.

 

[Élégie]

I'm not functional either and I feel the same way about it. I don't work, I don't go to school, I have zero social life... I spend my days doing the same useless shit... I'm worthless. I don't belong in this world.

 

[pole]

The constant fear of people judging how useless and dumb I am because of I can't function properly is one of the reason why I feel the need to go.

I tried my best but just not good enough to keep up with the people around me. Lost sight of everything since the past few years . Does anyone else feel the same or am I just weak ?

took the words out my mouth. i just dont think, and function like i use to. like it feels awful, i literally feel like im physically dying even though im 19. like both physically and mentally just deteriorating if that makes any sense. and ontop of that, just the feeling of being judged every second, it drives me insane. gotten to the point, where i dont wear my contacts and glasses in an effort of not wanting to SEE literally anything at all or anyone at all; and seeing the real world as a blur. So pathetic.

 

[LastFlowers]

Not being able to function properly- or even at all-is more of a secondary effect of my main reason. But it's all tied together at the end of the day, so pretty much..yes.
I've definitely not been able to keep up with anyone around me either.
I am so far behind and so many years have past, that even trying to play catch-up is useless.

 

[StillWaiting]

I'm not functional either and I feel the same way about it. I don't work, I don't go to school, I have zero social life... I spend my days doing the same useless shit... I'm worthless. I don't belong in this world.

During my holidays , I don't do anything either.
After going back to school, I feel so out of place too.
Everyone know their shit so well while I don't even know anything .
During my internship, I feel that I can't do anything to help.
It really sucks to know that you are worthless and don't belong to the world but no longer have the energy to change it

took the words out my mouth. i just dont think, and function like i use to. like it feels awful, i literally feel like im physically dying even though im 19. like both physically and mentally just deteriorating if that makes any sense. and ontop of that, just the feeling of being judged every second, it drives me insane. gotten to the point, where i dont wear my contacts and glasses in an effort of not wanting to SEE literally anything at all or anyone at all; and seeing the real world as a blur. So pathetic.

The fear of being judged drive some people insane . At least for me

 

[Lethe]

Honestly, society is not interesting enough for me to want to participate. I don't see it as my problem. Call it narcissistic if you want, not my problem.

 

[Azul]

I'm here on my bedroom 24/7 bored and depressed ruminating on dreadful thoughts and on the distant past, digging up past life events and get paranoid about them.

That's EXACTLY what I did for some time of my life, it's getting a little better now but I already know I will fall there again. It's a cycle. Could you explain better the "paranoid" part? Because I think I feel exactly the same. Are you diagnosed with something? That paranoid thing is what has led me to this point and I really can't explain to anyone, but my mind is stuck on some repetitive thoughts and I can't control it. It's hell for me.

 

[Darkhaven]

That's EXACTLY what I did for some time of my life, it's getting a little better now but I already know I will fall there again. It's a cycle. Could you explain better the "paranoid" part? Because I think I feel exactly the same. Are you diagnosed with something? That paranoid thing is what has led me to this point and I really can't explain to anyone, but my mind is stuck on some repetitive thoughts and I can't control it. It's hell for me.

Yeah, i start to dig up things that happened in the past and then i start wondering if those things weren't just accidental but rather have been caused by people close to me.
Then i stay trapped in these thoughts and i can't get out.
It's horrible, horrible.

 

[c824767]

I know I cannot function, I do not belong here, it makes me Very determined to ctb.

 

[nebula]

I've been recently diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder. I simply don't have the energy and mechanisms necessary to deal with the majority of people and social norms anymore. Living in society has been tiring.

 

[Life sucks]

I don't care about others. I can't function properly and my brain is damaged and it annoys me because even if I want to do something in life, it prevents me. So its no life and no death situation.

 

[eve2004]

I'm not functional either and I feel the same way about it. I don't work, I don't go to school, I have zero social life... I spend my days doing the same useless shit... I'm worthless. I don't belong in this world.

I feel the same, with no hope of any improvement despite psych, therapists, meds...

 

[Hexen]

Yes, same here

 

[Cook]

I feel the exact same way as you. I feel like I don't function at the same level as everyone else. I don't feel right for this world.

You are not alone.

Me too

I've been recently diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder. I simply don't have the energy and mechanisms necessary to deal with the majority of people and social norms anymore. Living in society has been tiring.

Same here

 

[Final Escape]

Yes it's one reason I want to exit.

 

[Cook]

I just don't care about anyone anymore but mostly myself. I am a blight to this earth.

 

[eve2004]

Had a pretty bad appt with the psych. He asked if I'd do electrical shock therapy or day outpatient hospital. I said neither. I thought "kill me now... " if that's what my insurance company wants me to do, I might impulsively botch an attempt because i'm now highly distressed. And frustrated my last piece of paperwork before I can CTB hasn't come in yet. I just want to be in a coma until then, file the paperwork and get the fuck dead. I'm never going to function enough to support myself. I don't want to wait till I'm broke and homeless.
In other news I now have 3 bottles of SN and a ton of ranitidine (pharmacy). Came in this week. Trying to curb the impulsivity to taste test.

I just don't care about anyone anymore but mostly myself. I am a blight to this earth.

Same. I cannot/do not have feelings. Even for friends I used to be close to.

 

[justanotherday]

I am in the same boat.

 

[Morphinekiss]

If by function properly you mean hold down a job, then yes. I keep getting turned down for disability benefits so really I'm not able to support myself, ctb is the only eventual end option.

 

[justanotherday]

If by function properly you mean hold down a job, then yes. I keep getting turned down for disability benefits so really I'm not able to support myself, ctb is the only eventual end option.

I have a hard time with jobs too.

 

[StillWaiting]

I have a hard time with jobs too.

Same here. Find it hard to deal with anxiety at work. Not sure how people can cope with it

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

We're expected to act like machines and such while they take our basic social needs away from us if we do not act their fantastic demands. So no due you're not weak. We were jusy not meant to live in their interpretation of the world surrounding us mate.