Does MJ help

[Sinkinshyp]

Most of you know my story. I have seen quite a few posting how MJ helps them. A girl I knew in my late teens lost her son a long time ago. He was about 3. When my son died I asked her how do you do it? she said in all honestly MJ is my best friend and you need to try it. I did try it 2-3 months after my son passed about 3x. It did calm my some of anxiety. I am wondering if maybe I shouldn't try it. I go to pain management and take o-codone. I would most likely have to give up my meds for MJ as it's illegal here. Pain doc even advised I avoid anything with cbd because it can contain up to 3% THC? I think and if I fail a urine I will be dropped. So those who use MJ give me your experiences. I will say my 3 best friends throughout life have been active MJ users- I was the drinker. My bro and all my friends tried to get me to do it but nope I avoided it because I liked getting drunk and MJ made me sleep. I'm curious from a depression anxiety stand point- if it's helping you and explain to me how. I know it's now being used for pain so I could use it also for that. I tried it a handful of times- so my experience with it isn't regular use. I'm curious if with regular use does it have a more beneficial result?

something I just thought about- it's a haha so don't need to read it. I have always had bad insomnia. One night I watched a thing about medical MJ all the benefits it had. I calculated if it worked as nat geographic said it did I could ditch at least 6 pills. This wasn't a user telling me all it's benefits this was nat geo a very legit source. My older son was 19 at the time I knew he used it. The next day I said Hey J get me some MJ (used the common P word for it) he looked at me like I was insane. I was VERY anti drug than. He left came back with a small amount in a cigarette wrapper. I said don't I need papers (in my day people used papers with clips) or something? Ma, that was awkward enough getting it for you I'm not helping you smoke it. This was ohh about 2pm he comes in at 10pm so Ma when are the cops coming? I said for what? Ma, I know you set me up? I just laughed Buddy, 1st there wasn't enough in there to set anyone up. 2nd I put it in my cigarette and smoked it. I wanted to see if the nat geographic show I watched was true. My constant muscle spasms I've been left with since my cancer surgeries did feel better and my anxiety wasn't there. I did smoke with him a couple of times between when he was 19-25. I know he enjoyed those few times I was a cool mom sharing his 2nd favorite hobby.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Are you given urinalyses, or is it something they can just drop on you if they feel like it?

 

[Sinkinshyp]

Are you given urinalyses, or is it something they can just drop on you if they feel like it?

I get random urinalysis when they feel like it. A nurse slipped up and told me I am to get them 4x a yr. My last was april so I think I should be tested oct or nov. I go in, pay get calle dbackby nurse and get told oh here is a cup you have to give urine this month.
due to a few puffs can last 30 days it would make it tricky to try to use daily to see if it works better with regular use. So I would be forced to give up pain management and by law here pri care doc can't write pain meds. My pri care doc is amazing and I would feel comfortable telling him I am trying MJ. He has tried so hard these last 3 years I'm sure he would give his approval since all the meds have failed. I've been on at least hmm 10 off the top of my head anti depressants since my son died.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I would suggest you test it after your next drug test.

It would be a good idea to try different CBD oils. Also, if you smoke it, you're getting high, which is fun, but if you're wanting pain management, then you would do better with CBD or with edibles. For edibles, are you close enough to a state with legalized marijuana? Then you could go to a dispensary.

Is medical marijuana legal in your state, and are there dispensaries? If yes, then I'd try to get medical approved and then visit a dispensary after a urinalysis.

A problem with getting it from a dealer is that you may not get to choose from sativa, indica, or hybrid, and each will affect you differently. When I used to smoke, I disliked sativas because my brain gets too active, so I liked indicas for relaxing and hybrids for pleasure, while others prefer sativas. So if the dealer switches things up, then you might start out getting exactly what you need, only to end up later with a strain that doesn't do what you need. If you don't mind getting high, or just a little high, you can microdose -- just take a couple hits when you need it. When I was a pothead, even though I smoked every day, I was still a lightweight, and could just take a few tokes here and there all day long and maintain a buzz without going overboard and passing out. There are different ways of smoking, too, like vape pens and vaporizers, and I found I didn't get nearly as high with those as I did with rolling joints or using a pipe or a bong, so I think they might be better for pain management. Then again, that may not work as well for anxiety, a bit of a high may help. I would suggest if you smoke that you microdose, then you can still function but have some fun or at least have a better mood.

 

[Ghost2211]

Is it legal where you are for recreational or medical use? MJ effects each person differently as well.

MJ keeps me going on bad days. It makes me feel happier, and there are days it's the only way I can eat. It makes me fall asleep when I'm too sad, and it tamed the impulsive feelings when I was too sad to control myself. I only use it every 48-72 hours to limit saturation and tolerance. I miss smoking but eating it is currently the only option.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

thank you for taking the time to reply and share information.


Legal for certain medical here. It just became a law for medical not long ago and it seems unlikely I would qualify. But my bro knows a place for $300 I can get a medical use card. He has one. I didn't realize there were so many different kinds of it. I think I am like you @GoodPersonEffed a light weight. The handful of times I tried it I took a couple of puffs and it landed me asleep. I wont use the vape pens as those have caused respiratory failure- not sure if from a dispensary or off say a dealer. All respiratory failures from vaping were the result of THC cartridges. None by normal vapes. There is CBD sold everywhere in every form. I tried a cbd vape juice and gummies after my son died. They did nothing at all. Maybe I'll look at your view on different strains and ask my bro to get one or more of them for me to try when he goes to dispensary next. I don't know if he can get a limited amount or not. I know me asking to try it he will jump at the chance. After my next urine I'll try it in say 2 puffs here and there. My bro and his wife smoke it all day every day. Neither have depression. It sounds like indica is what would most likely be better for me. I would want to avoid that sativa one because I don't want my brain working more than it does.

@RoseyBird thank you. I have to beyond medicate to sleep. I don't know if it's the over medicated my ptsd or a combo of both- I hate to admit this at almost 49. I pee the bed. I wake up wet and no idea when I peed. Sometimes very rarely I'll wake myself peeing but most times I wake up way past it just wet in the morning. I am not impulsive- thats not to say if my younger son called and told me off I wouldn't go drink my SN. I eat about twice a week. Every night my bro or his wife brings me a plate and I say wrap it up I'll eat it when I'm hungry. I tell them over and over I appreciate it but don't waste time and energy bringing me plates, I am not hungry. It is not legal for recreational. My bro says I know if I bring something you might eat because I know otherwise you wont. I just have no appetite. I think I'm going to give it a try.

 

[Ghost2211]

It will for sure help with giving you the munchies.

Theres no need to be embarrassed about enuresis. There are a couple ways to make that easier on you such as a bed pad or adult diaper for sleep. There is also enuresis alarms on Amazon that will alert you when damp so you wake up.

I know you're dealing with a lot. sending you hugs and love

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Sativa may affect you differently than it does me. If your brother goes to a dispensary, he can probably get small amounts of each, ask him to get the smallest amount allowed. Be sure to note the type (sativa, indica, hybrid) and the name of the strain (like purple kush or AK-47), because you may like one strain more than another. I'd say to go about it scientifically and record each one and how you felt on it, how you ingested it, how much, etc.

You may like lollipops or hard candies, but it can take a couple of hours for them to kick in. They also come in sativa, indica and hybrid. I enjoyed them, they lightened my mood and I might feel a buzz, but it was more mellow, definitely not high like when I smoked, and the effects lasted longer. Depending on the dispensary, you may also be able to get THC for cooking and then you can bake it into something like brownies. Edibles can be very strong and they take a while to kick in, so it would require experimentation.

I would take your brother up on the $300 card and then you don't have to rely on him to go to the dispensary.

 

[LittleJem]

For me, MJ is the only thing that makes my life bearable. It calms my agitation and panic and gets me through the day. When my depression was the worst, I had insomnia and MJ was the only thing that made me sleep. It still helps me sleep. All the best days of my life have been on MJ, I feel pretty terrible without it.

At the moment it is helping me with the pain of being estranged from my mum (happened this week), being bullied at work (past six months) and of losing my marriage and home due to mental illness (last year) and just generally with my mental health and anxiety levels. For me, it helps me get high above the pain so I can function better.

If you are not watched over when you take a urine test (and depending on what they are looking for in your urine) you can get fake urine for drugs tests. I have only seen it sold online, I have never been drug tested - but here is an article about it: https://wayofleaf.com/detox/101/synthetic-urine

There are different types of MJ as others have said. I don't notice much difference between Sativa and Indica but lots of people do.....These days I personally need skunk, as my tolerance is pretty high, and these days only some skunk works for me, so I need to test it. I should probably take a tolerance break, but not sure when as I have stuff I need to do and be functional at the moment...I cook it into oil (currently avocado oil), there are lots of recipes online - and I also vape.
Oh, I can sometimes take too much then pass out asleep with edibles I make these days!!!! So give it time to work and see if it's working before redosing.
PS I know MJ can be dangerous for some people (like it was for my ex) and also gives some people more anxiety. So I do think it's handle with care, but for me I would be very frightened of living without it.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I abused weed for several years, it felt good until I experienced a psychotic episode. After that I get lots of anxiety from weed. But I use it occasionally because I still like the feeling of being high but it's much less enjoyable as it was prior the episode

 

[Sinkinshyp]

It will for sure help with giving you the munchies.

Theres no need to be embarrassed about enuresis. There are a couple ways to make that easier on you such as a bed pad or adult diaper for sleep. There is also enuresis alarms on Amazon that will alert you when damp so you wake up.

I know you're dealing with a lot. sending you hugs and love ❤

I didn't know there was a name for it now I know what to look up. When I tried to find adult bedwetting I found for senriors and children information. I still don't know if it is from having to be so medicated to sleep or the ptsd or both. I do have a waterproof bed pad on my bed. I have to bleach it sometimes only once a week sometimes 3 or 4x a week. If I can take a couple puff and sleep without all this medication I might learn if it's from being over medicated. Much love and hugs back at you

Sativa may affect you differently than it does me. If your brother goes to a dispensary, he can probably get small amounts of each, ask him to get the smallest amount allowed. Be sure to note the type (sativa, indica, hybrid) and the name of the strain (like purple kush or AK-47), because you may like one strain more than another. I'd say to go about it scientifically and record each one and how you felt on it, how you ingested it, how much, etc.

You may like lollipops or hard candies, but it can take a couple of hours for them to kick in. They also come in sativa, indica and hybrid. I enjoyed them, they lightened my mood and I might feel a buzz, but it was more mellow, definitely not high like when I smoked, and the effects lasted longer. Depending on the dispensary, you may also be able to get THC for cooking and then you can bake it into something like brownies. Edibles can be very strong and they take a while to kick in, so it would require experimentation.

I would take your brother up on the $300 card and then you don't have to rely on him to go to the dispensary.

I will ask him what strain it is and make notes as you mentioned. I don't know about his ability to get anything other than smokable. I've never seen him or his wife with anything other than smoke. That could just be their preferred way though. I don't think I would mind feeling some sort of high. Since I will be using it for multiple reasons. In eq2 I played with a guy and his son who grew medical and made medical in alaska. One time neither him nor his son logged for 4 days. When they returned they told us how they made new butter. They test everything and it put them out for 3 days. I have his phone number or at least what his phone number was 4 yrs ago. My video game pals & I were so close we called eachother hey come play or hey haven't see ya whats up. I wonder how willing he would be to send me some things to try. He hasn't played in a couple of years nor has his son. So I can't ge tin touch via game. I could text hey is this Johnny to his phone and see if it's him before I cold call.

I'm still curious if regular continued use has more benefit than an occasional try. Meaning if I continued to use would I be less.. depressed, less filled with pain, less shattered. Is there more benefit to give it a try using daily for x amount of time vs a puff or two twice a month.

 

[Ghost2211]

I didn't know there was a name for it now I know what to look up. When I tried to find adult bedwetting I found for senriors and children information. I still don't know if it is from having to be so medicated to sleep or the ptsd or both. I do have a waterproof bed pad on my bed. I have to bleach it sometimes only once a week sometimes 3 or 4x a week. If I can take a couple puff and sleep without all this medication I might learn if it's from being over medicated. Much love and hugs back at you.

The sensors are primarily marketed to children, but it works the same for adults. There are medications but I didn't suggest it since I could tell it wouldn't be desired. Another thought is strengthening the pelvic floor. Goodness knows what having babies can do to our pelvic and abdominal muscle function.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

@Sinkinshyp, it would be a federal offense for him to ship you product.

As far as taking it regularly, you would potentially build up tolerance, maybe become even more depressed. I've found microdosing to be far better, taking more usually just means getting knocked out. But it's also an individual thing. I microdosed several times a day for years and was high-functioning but definitely felt a little stoned and very happy, but had a friend whose tolerance was a quarter ounce bag a day, she was one of the rare people who gets addicted. Search the site for microdosing, there have been discussions about it. Maybe even search the web for microdosing.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

For me, MJ is the only thing that makes my life bearable. It calms my agitation and panic and gets me through the day. When my depression was the worst, I had insomnia and MJ was the only thing that made me sleep. It still helps me sleep. All the best days of my life have been on MJ, I feel pretty terrible without it.

At the moment it is helping me with the pain of being estranged from my mum (happened this week), being bullied at work (past six months) and of losing my marriage and home due to mental illness (last year) and just generally with my mental health and anxiety levels. For me, it helps me get high above the pain so I can function better.

If you are not watched over when you take a urine test (and depending on what they are looking for in your urine) you can get fake urine for drugs tests. I have only seen it sold online, I have never been drug tested - but here is an article about it: https://wayofleaf.com/detox/101/synthetic-urine

There are different types of MJ as others have said. I don't notice much difference between Sativa and Indica but lots of people do.....These days I personally need skunk, as my tolerance is pretty high, and these days only some skunk works for me, so I need to test it. I should probably take a tolerance break, but not sure when as I have stuff I need to do and be functional at the moment...I cook it into oil (currently avocado oil), there are lots of recipes online - and I also vape.
Oh, I can sometimes take too much then pass out asleep with edibles I make these days!!!! So give it time to work and see if it's working before redosing.
PS I know MJ can be dangerous for some people (like it was for my ex) and also gives some people more anxiety. So I do think it's handle with care, but for me I would be very frightened of living without it.

Thank you. I never realized so many kinds were out there. I knew home grown and kronic? I think it's called. My old best friends bf used to get that think its kronic. Can't remember exactly the name. It's supposed to be some powerful good stuff according to him. Knowing now there are varieties I can try to test out and see if maybe there is 1 that might help. Edible isn't something I would start out making until I knew the process very well. I think the reason I never liked it younger I got paranoid, anxiety then fell asleep where as drinking made me more social and I could drink all night long. I know they check the temperature of urine. It has to be a temperature coming out of the body. They have never not let me bring my purse in. I'm innocent when it comes to some things. Occasionally I take to many o codone to kill off my feelings. It helps me feel nothing and go to sleep. A couple of months ago I was worried I didn't have enough in my system as I ran short. My brother said pee in your bottle and dump that in with your pee it will give values you took it. I always try to save 2 to have for the 2 days before my appt. I am not sure I could pull off a fake urine without being to anxious I was scared to pieces the day I had the O codone bottle in my purse with pee in it.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Check out this article on passing urinalyses. When they mention head shops, those are places that sell pipes and bongs, every city and most towns have them.

How to Pass a Drug Test, According to Experts

Some of the detoxifying drinks may work.

www.google.com

I always used to take goldenseal, you can look up online how to do it. I think I took something like 3 tablets 6 times a day for two days, with tons of water, but really it's the tons of water that's key. And the later in the day you test, the more diluted your urine will be, and the more water you drink, the more diluted.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

@Sinkinshyp, it would be a federal offense for him to ship you product.

As far as taking it regularly, you would potentially build up tolerance, maybe become even more depressed. I've found microdosing to be far better, taking more usually just means getting knocked out. But it's also an individual thing. I microdosed several times a day for years and was high-functioning but definitely felt a little stoned and very happy, but had a friend whose tolerance was a quarter ounce bag a day, she was one of the rare people who gets addicted. Search the site for microdosing, there have been discussions about it. Maybe even search the web for microdosing.

you are such a book of knowledge! I value you so much as do so many others. There was just a thread about.. I think was EMDS and microdosing. Chupracabra posted a reply with links about them but it was micro dosing with psychadelics so I never read further. I was the only teenager with my own apartment. The kids had some sort of acid going around and wanted to use my apartment. I was so scared of drugs I went 2 towns over to a friends house to let all the kids use my apartment for 2 days. I'll research microdosing. I'm glad microdosing several times a day helped you to be " high-functioning but definitely felt a little stoned and very happy" My bro started out on MJ at 13 he tried every drug there was. He spent his life an addict in and out of jail and his teen years I think 15 until I think 21 in prison. 4 yrs ago he was on H and shooting dilaudid (hope I dont get in trouble for typing the name). He has been clean for just over 3 years except the MJ. Which he and his wife smoke all day every day. I imagine they need to smoke so much since you can build a tolerance- which I didn't know until now. I am not anti MJ the way I was ohh 10-12 years ago. I see it has so many medicinal purposes. Thinking back to friends who used I don't think any were depressed either. I wonder if microdosing several time a day might not buy me time to re build my relationship with younger son and learn to function with older one passed away. A reply to a post I made the other day as harsh as it was to read has me wondering what I might do to my younger son. When I began this ohh SN is the answer journey and found myself here I was 150% sure about CTB. It's what I go to bed wishing and wake up hating I woke up daily for the last almost 3 years. Boys go through a lot at 18-20, they aren't a boy and not a man. Seeking independence yet still needing mom and all those hormones. While I have stayed the last almost 3 years solely for him maybe he deservers more time. If I try harder to re build our relationship and he refuses it will make it easier to know he wont have any detrimental results. I only want him to have the best possible life. I'll check out the above link- I might mention even my ex in laws said if it weren't for bad luck you'd have no luck at all. So my chances of passing with methods to have clean urine will probably be a huge failure. My last pain doc discharged me after 4 years because my urine had tested positive for cocaine! I said I have not touched that nor been around anyone to even come in contact with it. I called the lab that ran the urine and the lead person reached out to pain doc to re run that mistakes do happen. I paid for a hair follicle test which of course was negative for anything that wasn't prescribed. My doc refused to take me back because "I betrayed his trust". My supposed urine was + for cocaine I never touched, my son had been dead already hmm almost a yr so I am not out seeing people to come into contact with it like at a bar or someones house. I have been a hermit and no one comes to my house let alone I don't know anyone who does that.. MY trust was failed because MY urine got mixed up with someone elses. Thankfully new pain doc said with the hair follicle showing my innocence I surely did not touch or come into contact with that substance. When I pee I babysit my urine cup until they zip it up.

@RoseyBird you are also someone I and many others value. You have so much knowledge as well. Due to mental and physical health I am on a boat load of meds. I have a cabinet in my room for it all. My bro is a recovering addict and was looking for some aspirin for his wifes headache. I opened my cabinet and he said Holy Sh%T! He said I am an addict and thats just insane. Thats overload way to much medications- can't remember his exact words but the meaning is there. I do have all the failed sleeping meds, failed muscle relaxers and many failed anti depressants still. Not sure how to dispose of and saved in case they can be used to CTB in combination with others. SO yeah another med isn't what I need. Even nights I skip 2 - 4 meds I still wet the bed. There is 5 that I do take every night. You gave me a name for what's happening so I can research it and try to find products for it. I have done keigel? exercises. 3 c-sections and a hysterectomy. About a yr before my son died I had blood in my urine. I went to urologist and they did a cystoscopy. I had some pre cancer cells in my bladder. I was supposed to be checked every 6 months. 1) I can't afford it 2) once was unpleasant enough and 3) I don't care to follow medical so I can go to my son. I would think bladder cancer would be painful. I just thought about that pre cancer cells while replying. I wonder if maybe something hasn't changed in there. I'm going to look for one of those alarms to wake me when it happens.

 

[Ghost2211]

Thank you for your kind words, and sharing your story. It makes me happy I was able to bring some benefit.

It makes me sad to think of the potential of bladder cancer. It would be like a uti to the max, so that's what to watch for. Pain urinating and blood in the urine mostly.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

The situation with your younger son is complicated. He's been manipulated, and he makes it clear he wants nothing to do with you. That may change in the future, or that may never change. It reminds me of something Marcus Aurelius said in the Meditations:

"Suppose any man shall despise me. Let him look to that himself. But I will look to this, that I not be discovered doing or saying anything deserving of contempt. Shall any man hate me? Let him look to it."

If I were in your position, I would map out the entire situation: what others did, what he did, what I might have done to contribute. I would use it to learn and to move forward, bettering myself where needed, and not holding myself responsible for what others did. But that would be to improve me for my own good, not to change just to please others. Someone who refuses to be happy with you no matter what is never going to be happy with you unless they change, not you, and they have to be motivated to change on their own. Improving something and going back to him and saying, "See how much better I am?" only gives him more power to judge and disdain you. Instead, if he approaches you on his own, he will see the evidence for himself. Honestly, he has way too much power. For my own self-respect and well-being, I would stop paying for his phone. He is not entitled to it, and he's not using it for the purpose you intend. I think you may possibly feel better when you gain self-respect, and don't let other people define you, such as saying that about your luck. It sounds to me like others' opinions and actions contribute toward molding you into someone other than who you inherently are. I just posted a quote on my wall about how not having tools of judgment makes one more susceptible to manipulation. Doing things like mapping out what happened, weighing each thing out, is a tool of judgment.

Here's another quote, a tool, for assessing your son, this one from Epictetus:

"Whenever someone does you a wrong or speaks ill of you, remember that he is doing what he thinks is proper. He can't possibly be guided by what appears right to you, but only what appears right to him. So if he sees things wrongly, he is the one who is hurt, because he is the one who has been deceived...Starting from this reasoning, you will be mild toward whoever insults you. Say each time, 'So it seemed to him.'"

Anyhow, take what you want from what I've said if it's of value, discard what isn't. I have no desire to come in and fix things for you and control your life. It's all yours, just offering a few things that may have a positive impact, but I'm not at all attached to that happening.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I'm one of the broken people apparently because it makes me feel WAY worse. Really paranoid, bad anxiety, my tinnitus is worse, and I get really dizzy. It did absolutely nothing for my chronic pain and insomnia. I felt way more depressed (I tried it when I was grieving over the loss of someone very special to me). And yes I tried different strains. Also I was a former addict to other drugs and alcohol so using it to try to feel better makes me feel defeated. I just want to be normal without drugs. I haven't touched drugs in months now except benzos and I hope to stop that addiction too.

Its disheartening for me when that's people's go to response for recovery and things to try for anxiety and pain because I am one of the unlucky people who can't tolerate it.

 

[Wayfaerer]

Yes. I know my life would be better right now with it.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

The situation with your younger son is complicated. He's been manipulated, and he makes it clear he wants nothing to do with you. That may change in the future, or that may never change. It reminds me of something Marcus Aurelius said in the Meditations:

"Suppose any man shall despise me. Let him look to that himself. But I will look to this, that I not be discovered doing or saying anything deserving of contempt. Shall any man hate me? Let him look to it."

If I were in your position, I would map out the entire situation: what others did, what he did, what I might have done to contribute. I would use it to learn and to move forward, bettering myself where needed, and not holding myself responsible for what others did. But that would be to improve me for my own good, not to change just to please others. Someone who refuses to be happy with you no matter what is never going to be happy with you unless they change, not you, and they have to be motivated to change on their own. Improving something and going back to him and saying, "See how much better I am?" only gives him more power to judge and disdain you. Instead, if he approaches you on his own, he will see the evidence for himself. Honestly, he has way too much power. For my own self-respect and well-being, I would stop paying for his phone. He is not entitled to it, and he's not using it for the purpose you intend. I think you may possibly feel better when you gain self-respect, and don't let other people define you, such as saying that about your luck. It sounds to me like others' opinions and actions contribute toward molding you into someone other than who you inherently are. I just posted a quote on my wall about how not having tools of judgment makes one more susceptible to manipulation. Doing things like mapping out what happened, weighing each thing out, is a tool of judgment.

Here's another quote, a tool, for assessing your son, this one from Epictetus:

"Whenever someone does you a wrong or speaks ill of you, remember that he is doing what he thinks is proper. He can't possibly be guided by what appears right to you, but only what appears right to him. So if he sees things wrongly, he is the one who is hurt, because he is the one who has been deceived...Starting from this reasoning, you will be mild toward whoever insults you. Say each time, 'So it seemed to him.'"

Anyhow, take what you want from what I've said if it's of value, discard what isn't. I have no desire to come in and fix things for you and control your life. It's all yours, just offering a few things that may have a positive impact, but I'm not at all attached to that happening.

I'm just now seeing the last few responses. GPE you have given me a bit to think about. Quite a bit of it makes sense. I will have to re read this at least 3x. Thank you again for sharing your wisdom with me.

I came back to the thread to say.. I did a few puffs of my brothers stuff last week. It gave me anxiety and a crying spree for my son. I asked today what was that last week he couldn't remember if it was hybrid or that other one. I told him someone suggested I try indica. So today he told me I have indica come try it. I actually like it. The non stop thoughts about my older son being gone aren't there. It's calmed my brain, my jittery anxiety is gone. My mom stop muscle spasms in my neck from 4 cancer surgeries is much better than with the meds they stuff me with.