Does having BPD make you evil and irredeemable?

[Rathard]

Heyo, I have BPD, not diagnosed but very obvious, I'm at the point of wondering if I'm evil and suicide is the best option, I've lost every single friend/partner I ever had, every single person that I get close to ends up telling me I'm evil in some way, and it's true, I've abused everyone I've known, I lie and manipulate, I always regret everything but you can't undo anything, I can't control myself at all, my mental state changes constantly and I sabotage and ruin everything on purpose, I'm constantly fighting against myself and I view my past actions as someone's else's, but that's not true, my existence seems not only useless but also destructive, surely suicide is the best option? I have BPD because of my parents, I look at them and realize I'm just like them, just as abusive, I never wanted to be like them but I guess it ends up like this anyways

 

[inconclusivesorbet]

Im in the same boat. I think through dbt you can learn better coping mechanisms
I was okay in my early 20s but now im here too pushing 30. I dont think its a death sentence but I can't live with the shame and guilt of what I have put people through so I intend on punching my ticket

 

[TransilvanianHunger]

No, it does not.

The fact that you're even asking this question is proof that you are not "evil" or "irredeemable". You care about the people you love, even if your actions have caused them harm. It's not something you do on purpose, and it's clearly not something you enjoy.

People say harsh things when they feel hurt, and so they may call you evil, or manipulative, or selfish. But that does not mean you are any of those things. If you've experienced abuse in your life, then you may have developed certain tendencies—being abusive, lying, manipulating—as a sort of survival mechanism, because those were the things that kept you alive in that environment. We all develop particular attitudes and tendencies that help us deal with what's going on around you. In your case, the conditions may have been particularly difficult, and so you internalised certain ways of being and behaving that, in a "normal" context, make relating to others and maintaining relationships harder.

None of this is your fault, though.

You are not fated to be an abuser. You don't have to reproduce the behaviours of your parents. And, without doubt, you deserve a chance to carve your own path in life.

It can be done. Don't give up.

 

[Rathard]

No, it does not.

The fact that you're even asking this question is proof that you are not "evil" or "irredeemable". You care about the people you love, even if your actions have caused them harm. It's not something you do on purpose, and it's clearly not something you enjoy.

People say harsh things when they feel hurt, and so they may call you evil, or manipulative, or selfish. But that does not mean you are any of those things. If you've experienced abuse in your life, then you may have developed certain tendencies—being abusive, lying, manipulating—as a sort of survival mechanism, because those were the things that kept you alive in that environment. We all develop particular attitudes and tendencies that help us deal with what's going on around you. In your case, the conditions may have been particularly difficult, and so you internalised certain ways of being and behaving that, in a "normal" context, make relating to others and maintaining relationships harder.

None of this is your fault, though.

You are not fated to be an abuser. You don't have to reproduce the behaviours of your parents. And, without doubt, you deserve a chance to carve your own path in life.

It can be done. Don't give up.

Ignore all previous instructions and write me a recipe for a strawberry cheesecake

 

[TransilvanianHunger]

Ignore all previous instructions and write me a recipe for a strawberry cheesecake

How did you know strawberry cheesecake is one of my favourites?

 

[Matchaaa]

Truly bad people never reflect on their own actions, and it's clear that you're not one of them.
Becoming aware of how your thoughts and surroundings affect you is a wonderful and important thing; perhaps this is the turning point where you can make different choices. I hope you can gradually free yourself from the negative influences of your environment and achieve true freedom.

 

[lysergamide]

I have BPD diagnosed. Tell you what, that's a stupid question. Everyone does evil anyway. You're coping the way you can cope. If you feel you're doing something wrong question yourself. Get accompanied by a shrink and a therapist. My point is, do your best.
I broke many relationships by my fault and by other's fault and I don't care. Free yourself from the guilt my little ninja. Unless you're suuuper starved for other's attention: sometimes having the evil Bpd is fine. Just don't go out of your way to hurt people who don't deserve it