Does discussing help?

[Suicide_vampire]

I'm curious.

I have only been a member since yesterday although a lifelong sufferer of SI, depression, autism and numerous other issues. I have spent time reading posts and responding and I'd be interested to hear others thoughts.
Does a safe space to openly discuss and talk about suicide, methods, stories. To hear others views and speak to people going through the same thing, lessen the power and control our thoughts have on us.
I'd be very interested to hear others stories of why they came here in the first place, what they found, why they stayed and if being on here made them rethink decisions.

***
Apologies for error in my post I was under impression SI meant suicidal ideation, but having a look around I see it's survival instinct. In my post I meant the former when I said SI

 

[Cave Johnson]

Does a safe space to openly discuss and talk about suicide, methods, stories. To hear others views and speak to people going through the same thing, lessen the power and control our thoughts have on us.

I'll try to answer this without getting too philosophical. In short, no, but it's more complicated than that.
Being able to discuss the feelings and thoughts with people can allow you to gain a perspective outside yourself. This will never lessen the power of your own thoughts, but depending on the perspectives provided by the people you're talking with you may find your thoughts on an issue change.
E.g. I have a post with my reasons for wanting to cbt mostly so I can ensure I've engaged with more perspectives than my own so I can be absolutely sure this is what I want.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Yes and no. its deeply personal and depends on your circumstances. For me, no-one can change the situation I find myself in, but talking to people on here gives me the social interaction I am robbed of due to ill health. I can talk and get listened to and be myself. Its not prefect, but its something. It won't cure my problems but it makes the journey a little easier. I also get a small feeling of self worth that I have lost by trying to make other people's journey a little easier too. And I get a massive boost when i see people in the shit who fight back and get a win, even a small one.
On the practical matter of suicide, it has given me the information I needed, which is both good and bad. I now realise that its a horrible thing whichever way you slice it and its shattered my illusions of a blanket answer to everything. Others may see it differently, this is both good and bad to me. It robs me off a security, but I suspect that security was false.
I think it is never a bad thing to get other people's perspectives on anything. If you are certain and never question anything then you are a fool. Does discussing suicidality lessen its power over you? It can or it can make it worse depending on your character. Are you a person who wants a realistic appraisal or do you want to hear what you already think repeated back at you? We'd all like to answer that we are the first, but are we? We are all flawed and we all want to be told we are right deep down. Realising that and being honest with yourself can be very difficult for everyone. So it can be complex, with no easy answer to your question. But as long as you are actually asking the questions, I personally believe that is a good thing.

 

[ClonesAnnoyMe]

This forum made me realize that I don't want to die, I realized from this forum that people have it much worse than I do and that at 20 years old, I shouldn't be suicidal (although it's perfectly okay and have felt that way since 13 atleast)

 

[ghostspace]

If you've just experienced a sudden loss or tragic life event and are feeling impulsive—no. Discussing emotions and frustrations is healthy because others can empathize, but fixating on methods of CTB can lead to a sort of tunnel vision where a person can't focus or consider any other option.

It's really not healthy for those with mental illnesses to ruminate about death, because there IS help available through medication and therapy. But for those of us with treatment-resistant depression or other longterm, difficult-to-treat conditions who have been down that road over and over, it helps to cope, in my opinion. It gives the person some power back and a potential way out of their pain.

For me it helps a lot. When things are bad, I can think, "I don't have to endure this. I can exit out if I want to." and it makes everything easier to tolerate. It makes me feel safe and reinforces the truth that everything is temporary.

Enduring something with no options and no way out is torturous. People can only be expected to take so much.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

Welcome to the forum. I think there is always the possibility of someone being helped.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

If you've just experienced a sudden loss or tragic life event and are feeling impulsive—no. Discussing emotions and frustrations is healthy because others can empathize, but fixating on methods of CTB can lead to a sort of tunnel vision where a person can't focus or consider any other option.

It's really not healthy for those with mental illnesses to ruminate about death, because there IS help available through medication and therapy. But for those of us with treatment-resistant depression or other longterm, difficult-to-treat conditions who have been down that road over and over, it helps to cope, in my opinion. It gives the person some power back and a potential way out of their pain.

For me it helps a lot. When things are bad, I can think, "I don't have to endure this. I can exit out if I want to." and it makes everything easier to tolerate. It makes me feel safe and reinforces the truth that everything is temporary.

Enduring something with no options and no way out is torturous. People can only be expected to take so much.

I agree with all that. Especially the last bit.

 

[Thereisnothing]

Yes and no. its deeply personal and depends on your circumstances. For me, no-one can change the situation I find myself in, but talking to people on here gives me the social interaction I am robbed of due to ill health. I can talk and get listened to and be myself. Its not prefect, but its something. It won't cure my problems but it makes the journey a little easier. I also get a small feeling of self worth that I have lost by trying to make other people's journey a little easier too. And I get a massive boost when i see people in the shit who fight back and get a win, even a small one.
On the practical matter of suicide, it has given me the information I needed, which is both good and bad. I now realise that its a horrible thing whichever way you slice it and its shattered my illusions of a blanket answer to everything. Others may see it differently, this is both good and bad to me. It robs me off a security, but I suspect that security was false.
I think it is never a bad thing to get other people's perspectives on anything. If you are certain and never question anything then you are a fool. Does discussing suicidality lessen its power over you? It can or it can make it worse depending on your character. Are you a person who wants a realistic appraisal or do you want to hear what you already think repeated back at you? We'd all like to answer that we are the first, but are we? We are all flawed and we all want to be told we are right deep down. Realising that and being honest with yourself can be very difficult for everyone. So it can be complex, with no easy answer to your question. But as long as you are actually asking the questions, I personally believe that is a good thing.

I was going to type out my own thoughts about this, but then the wise [USER=1465]@Underscore had already posted more or less what I was going to say. I am here for many reasons, loss, being alone, grief, multiple health problems which have robbed me of so much and will continue to do so. I joined SS as had had enough, in December lost the last person who loved and cared about me. Its a scary world to be alone in, especially so when you are vulnerable and so sick physically. This site will work differently for people depending on their circumstances etc. I was a guest here awhile before I joined, observing the posts and reactions. It seemed such a caring and vast place, where a lot of discussion and help went on. If anyone joins thinking its a forum to tell them how to end their life and to encourage that, they will be mistaken, just as the outside world thinks we encourage suicide. Yes we do have method resources to read, but that in no way urges anyone to go ahead and use them. Often its a big help in life to be informed of our choices and get to know about things we dont know much about, that in itself is a comfort. I for one still have no method, sue to such bad health I am very limited to what can use/choose and the other methods dont appeal as too violent. I just hope I can pass peacefully with my illnesses, although scared that peaceful and painless wont happen due to everything that is wrong and amount of pain am in. I for one get alot of relief from posting/reading repies and support and also in the hope that I can help someone else.

 

[Oyoy]

You ask an excellent question .On one hand this made me feel less alone.. I know if we complain we remain so I feel guilt about this indulgence . I got in trouble with administration because I have impulse control issues which was embarrassing. I have limited skills on this way of communication because I have never used anything but a telephone out of resisting the technology revolution and I am out of the loop so I don't love feeling left out again. I also know its a selfishness that makes.me feel like giving up and seeing it in others confirms that it's a waist of life. I hope what I put is ok.

 

[S1mpleme]

I'm curious.

I have only been a member since yesterday although a lifelong sufferer of SI, depression, autism and numerous other issues. I have spent time reading posts and responding and I'd be interested to hear others thoughts.
Does a safe space to openly discuss and talk about suicide, methods, stories. To hear others views and speak to people going through the same thing, lessen the power and control our thoughts have on us.
I'd be very interested to hear others stories of why they came here in the first place, what they found, why they stayed and if being on here made them rethink decisions.

***
Apologies for error in my post I was under impression SI meant suicidal ideation, but having a look around I see it's survival instinct. In my post I meant the former when I said SI

The only reason why I'm here is just to get info I needed. I don't think we can feel each other's pain and nice words don't make things better. Sometimes we just have shitty life, there are no words or medicine to help. Being a kid without info and tons of questions about this world is better than when you know the truth.

 

[Quarky00]

I was under impression SI meant suicidal ideation, but having a look around I see it's survival instinct.

This was seriously confusing here for me , for several weeks...

Doctors are worried about SI - suicidal ideation - death ; members are worried about SI - survival instinct - life . Yeah let's call both SI ;)

If you've just experienced a sudden loss or tragic life event and are feeling impulsive—no. Discussing emotions and frustrations is healthy because others can empathize, but fixating on methods of CTB can lead to a sort of tunnel vision where a person can't focus or consider any other option.

It's really not healthy for those with mental illnesses to ruminate about death, because there IS help available through medication and therapy. But for those of us with treatment-resistant depression or other longterm, difficult-to-treat conditions who have been down that road over and over, it helps to cope, in my opinion. It gives the person some power back and a potential way out of their pain.

For me it helps a lot. When things are bad, I can think, "I don't have to endure this. I can exit out if I want to." and it makes everything easier to tolerate. It makes me feel safe and reinforces the truth that everything is temporary.

Enduring something with no options and no way out is torturous. People can only be expected to take so much.

This should be read by everyone

Though I'd tone it down a bit . In acute distress (temporary and severe) -- obsessing about death can cause spiraling to bad consequences -- while there may be more things to try (yeah tunnel vision) . Still helpful to accept death wishes and discuss those in a calm manner while trying to process TRAUMAS . I believe many things are just too traumatic for us . Our day to day is traumatic . I don't think "help through meds and therapy" is sufficient practically , and it's also something bad to say to a suicidal person , as I've repeated tirelessly (I'm not criticizing ghostspace!).

I fester on that last point , because it has become common here , and it is very painful , even if you're a new impulsive suicidal .. I'm not addressing OP of course , which wrote rather well but the general feedback here .

Imagine a person standing on a cliff ready to jump , would you tell them "try meds" ?

It's a really bad feedback that should be abolished from this place . Obviously I don't mean that as a strict rule -- just a general wish envisioning an ideal suicidal acceptance , listening , support [, recovery] .

 

[TAW122]

It really depends on the person, but speaking for myself and quite a few others on here, the simple answer is yes, it helps to be able to talk about these subjects without censorship, judgment, or being blasted with pro-life rhetoric and/or preached at. Also, most importantly what separates this place from many others is the ability to discuss methods and even find ways to perfect it to ensure success.

 

[Ghost2211]

The group has made it easier to keep going this long, but I'm getting worse lately.

 

[Suicide_vampire]

Sorry to hear that. Feel free to talk about what's making things worse, it might not help but it can't make things any worse.

 

[Oyoy]

The group has made it easier to keep going this long, but I'm getting worse lately.

Me too. I'm glad to see you.

 

[ghostspace]

This was seriously confusing here for me , for several weeks...

Doctors are worried about SI - suicidal ideation - death ; members are worried about SI - survival instinct - life . Yeah let's call both SI ;)


This should be read by everyone

Though I'd tone it down a bit . In acute distress (temporary and severe) -- obsessing about death can cause spiraling to bad consequences -- while there may be more things to try (yeah tunnel vision) . Still helpful to accept death wishes and discuss those in a calm manner while trying to process TRAUMAS . I believe many things are just too traumatic for us . Our day to day is traumatic . I don't think "help through meds and therapy" is sufficient practically , and it's also something bad to say to a suicidal person , as I've repeated tirelessly (I'm not criticizing ghostspace!).

I fester on that last point , because it has become common here , and it is very painful , even if you're a new impulsive suicidal .. I'm not addressing OP of course , which wrote rather well but the general feedback here .

Imagine a person standing on a cliff ready to jump , would you tell them "try meds" ?

It's a really bad feedback that should be abolished from this place . Obviously I don't mean that as a strict rule -- just a general wish envisioning an ideal suicidal acceptance , listening , support [, recovery] .

Thank you for your feedback!

I would never tell someone in suicidal crisis to 'try meds' (or to try anything) as that's completely disrespectful to the person as they're in such a severe, painful mental state.

If someone is in acute crisis, it's important to validate their feelings and listen without judging or suggesting. Yes, the world sucks. Yes, psychiatric hospitals are hell. Yes, it's not fucking fair that some people can take meds and be fine and some people never feel relief from anything. Suicide is an option, just maybe give it a minute, or ten. We're all going to die at some point, it wouldn't hurt to talk through it with someone who respects either choice; just to make sure one is absolutely certain.

What I was trying to say with 'meds and therapy' was that I think it's important at some point, if possible, to try at least one form of mental health care (if not for permanent care, just to have a therapist to talk to about coping with daily struggles might improve whatever time one has left) before making a decision to die. If a person has never tried those things before they could be dealing with brain chemistry that may be somewhat alleviated with meds etc. It's something to rule out along the journey of such a heavy decision.

But yeah, some trauma is too much. There just aren't advanced enough treatments for people in that much agony. Hopefully future technology will give more insight and options, but what we have now, depending on one's country and financial status, is dishearteningly sparse. Therapy and meds don't work for far too many individuals and is the reason many of us have come to this place.

I would encourage people to wait at least a few months and try to seek help in the meantime.

I care deeply about all of you, I hope I phrased this a bit better as to not invalidate anyone's personal experiences.

 

[Quarky00]

@ghostspace , again you wrote marvelously and eloquently

I said "not addressing/criticizing OP" , and I hope you did not miss that . You wrote so well . Took the words out of my mouth .

Thank you for being here .

 

[ghostspace]

@ghostspace , again you wrote marvelously and eloquently

I said "not addressing/criticizing OP" , and I hope you did not miss that . You wrote so well . Took the words out of my mouth .

Thank you for being here .

Thank you again, that means a lot to me, seriously.

Didn't miss it at all, thanks for bringing attention to the different ways my words could be interpreted. ♡

 

[k75]

Apologies for error in my post I was under impression SI meant suicidal ideation, but having a look around I see it's survival instinct. In my post I meant the former when I said SI

When I first started reading this forum, this confused me so much. In every therapy group I've attended, we used "SI" to describe suicidal ideation to avoid triggering, so threads here just didn't make sense at all!

The source of my suicidal urges are half physical and half mental. The thoughts are strong and constant, and while I'm not an impulsive person, they can be difficult to ignore. In addition to the irreparable physical problems, I am diagnosed with PTSD, major depression, and generalized anxiety disorder. I'm also working on a grief disorder. I'm forever in a state of complicated grief.

When I came here, I was a mess. I've never been as low as I was then. All I needed was to solidify my method. I didn't plan on talking to anyone beyond that or seeking help. But that's not what ended up happening at all. I found support within a community, and I found at least one good friend. We've helped pull eachother back up. I'm convinced I wouldn't still be alive without this forum.

I still have one foot out the door. I haven't exactly reconsidered my decision to die, but I've slowed down. I decided to continue my therapy and meds and try to stick around awhile longer. I'm hoping for a miracle that won't come but still planning and researching.

I'm sorry. I'm not even sure if this answers your question at all.