First off, I've said it a billion times before and I'll say it again, good people and bad people don't exist. People are too complex to be categorized as either or, not to mention the fact that what one considers to be a good or bad person can be quite subjective. Reducing yourself as either or isn't helpful. You cannot simplify yourself down to just one or the other. You are a complex human being who possesses many traits, some of which might be seen as good, some of which might be seen as bad, and a lot of which might be seen as lying somewhere in between.
I understand that this can be hard to acknowledge when we talk about this in regard to ourselves, but it is true. You probably aren't as bad as you think you are, just as how a lot of people aren't as good as they think they are. At least based on your post, a good chunk of what you've described doesn't even have anything to do with your character.
Secondly, most people are fucking assholes. Even a lot of the people on here are assholes (no offence to the users on here, btw. I'm also an asshole and am arguably the biggest one on here, which I am not proud of). People tend to view themselves as being better than they really are and most people rarely acknowledge the actual horrible things they've done to others. Hell, I've met people before who will go on and on about feeling guilty for things they shouldn't feel guilty about while not once acknowledging actual hurtful things they have done to others. It ends up feeling as though people are biased in favour of feeling guilt over things that they subconsciously know aren't their fault while minimizing their role in things that are their fault.
Have you ever heard of self-serving bias? It refers to how we have a tendency to attribute positive occurrences to our own doing or character while attributing negative occurrences to external factors as a way to preserve our own self-image. This can impact things, such as how we remember events, causing us to rationalize our actions or to engage in selective recall and so forth. I think this quote from The Idiot Brain by Dean Burnett highlights this best
For example, did you know that your memory is
egotistical? You might think it's an accurate record of things that have happened to you or stuff you've learned, but it isn't. Your memory often tweaks and adjusts the information it stores to make you look better, like a doting mother pointing out how wonderful her little Timmy was in the school play, even though little Timmy just stood there, picking his nose and dribbling.
A lot of people, both on here and irl, are likely guilty of also being shitty too, it's just that they may not be acknowledging it. Either that, or they may acknowledge it but don't want to mention it out of fear of how others may react on here. Despite this, there have been cases of people on here who have talked about feeling suicidal for having done some pretty awful things and the people on here are typically very understanding, much more compared to the general population. You don't need to feel about about being here because you feel like you are a piece of shit. Plenty of people have come on here before for that very reason.
Thirdly, being ugly, a virgin, short, and lazy aren't things to feel bad about. These aren't moral failings, even if wider society sometimes treats them as such. You only have so much control over your appearance, there is nothing wrong with being a virgin (virginity is just a bullshit social construct anyways), it's not your fault that you are short and there isn't anything inherently wrong with that, and most people are lazy to some extent. These aren't things to beat yourself up for. In regards to the other things that you feel bad about, you could always try and work on them.
This may come off as a bit stupid since this was something I was thinking about while high on shrooms (a lot of my thoughts tend to be hit or miss while tripping) but maybe you should try to not just attribute traits to yourself when looking back at your past behaviours. Using traits when describing behaviours is something that commonly is discouraged in behaviour modification due to it leading to circular logic. You end up trying to explain why that behaviour took place based on the label you used to describe it. I notice I tend to use a lot of circular logic when thinking about my own undesirable behaviours and it wasn't until three days ago that it dawned on me that maybe that is incredibly unhelpful. It ends up keeping you from getting down to why you are behaving that way in the first place and can lead to a sort of stagnant mindset (i.e. "I'm a horrible person. This is an ingrained aspect of my character. This is who I am and all I'll ever be").
You could try working on yourself a bit if you haven't already. I mean, you've got nothing to lose.
And finally, no, you are not making your race look bad or shaming your ancestors. First off, black will always look bad because the issue isn't you, the individual, it is the wider-society. Black people, and other marginalized minorities, will always be portrayed in a bad light in order to hold up the bigoted systematic power structures that hurt us. Even if you were the most amazing person to ever exist, black people would still be shamed because wider society will find other black people to use as props in order to justify their racist views of that group. The concept of race was created as a tool to oppress our ancestors. Your existence doesn't make a difference here. This video does a good job of going over the invention of race:
Your ancestors also don't care about you because they are dead. They aren't around to judge you or anything, so don't let what you believe your ancestors would think of you if you were still alive get to you. You don't know how they would feel about you.
