Venting Does anyone still ask themselves "why me?"?

[ChildrensITV]

Out of all the kids who went to my school, out of all the kids who lived in my area, out of all the people I knew, why was my life picked to be the most confidence-killing, disturbing, confusing, anxiety-inducing, depressing one? Events in my teenage years literally made me into the broken man I am today. It didn't have an effect on me - no. It made me who I am today. It shaped me into the me I have to live with today.

But it didn't have to be me. It could have been anyone else. Decades later, still, I struggle with this question. Why was my life picked to be ruined? Was it fate or random? Why me?

 

[Haruka]

Unfortunately I do all the time. I'm an adult now and those around me seem much happier than I do, but I've never felt true happiness since I was a child. One of my old friends had a rough life too, and she said that she must have been a really bad person in her old life so I stick by that quote. If I'm good in this life and try to tough it out, maybe, when I move onto my next I will have my dream life... I hope.

 

[Ki_Nam]

Yeah. Not regarding ctb though.

 

[PrettyKitty]

I realize now I was just born to die.

 

[Challu]

I dont.. now that I think about it...
I just blame God for everything.

 

[http-410]

Never.

With eight billion people on this earth, it has to happen to someone. The same applies to cancer, poverty or anything else. And if you think about it, you're not as alone with your misery as you think - even if it doesn't really help anyone in the end.

Out of all the kids who went to my school, out of all the kids who lived in my area, out of all the people I knew, why was my life picked to be the most confidence-killing, disturbing, confusing, anxiety-inducing, depressing one?

Can you really be sure that you of all people have drawn the most unpleasant lot? Many people keep up a facade. Who hasn't heard of people who were outwardly cheerful but ended up killing themselves? And it doesn't "just" have to be suicide: domestic violence, toxic relationships and financial problems can also be swept under the rug, at least up to a point - so that no one notices.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Not really because I know the answer, even if unsatisfying: shit luck.

 

[TheSadGoose]

i don't. because i wouldn't wish this pain upon my worst enemy, the suffering i go through is unberable. i want it to end of course, but i'm also glad it's me and not someone i love because as i said, i would never wish this pain upon anyone.
i didn't deserve whatever happened to me, but now i have to live with it for the rest of my days (till i ctb) and i can't do shit about it.
at first i asked myself "why me? why do i have to suffer like this" but i'm glad it's me and not someone i love.

 

[peacesoon]

I do. I never seem to get an answer, though. I have never fucked over people. I have never done anything to piss the Almighty off.

Why me?

But.. We will never get an answer, will we?

 

[Lost in a Dream]

No, I stopped asking that question a long time ago. I'm not really sure I care why anymore, since I just want it to be over now.

 

[twinklywater]

Out of all the kids who went to my school, out of all the kids who lived in my area, out of all the people I knew, why was my life picked to be the most confidence-killing, disturbing, confusing, anxiety-inducing, depressing one? Events in my teenage years literally made me into the broken man I am today. It didn't have an effect on me - no. It made me who I am today. It shaped me into the me I have to live with today.

But it didn't have to be me. It could have been anyone else. Decades later, still, I struggle with this question. Why was my life picked to be ruined? Was it fate or random? Why me?

Reading this made me remember the countless hours I'd spend as a child just asking why. I thought I was being punished for something I didn't even know of. I think growing up (and moving away from the religion forced upon me at birth) just made me realise there's never been a reason and there never will be. It just happened to be me.

 

[AngelicPsychedelic]

All the time. I treated everyone fairly, I was kind to everyone, I really really did my best! why was I bullied? Why was I treated so cruelly? I have been told to cut myself, kill myself, slit my wrists, slit my throat, etc. to my face plenty of times! I was told to die literally almost everyday! Why? I have never treated anyone like this. Why do they all hate me? I have seen people who are struggling who have been helped and a lot of times babied. So why not me? Why did so many people laugh when those things were said to me? Why did the rest not say anything? If that would have been said to someone else, I think people wouldve had a problem with it. Am I really that unlovable? Am I not symphathetic enough? I've suffered more than most of the people who I have known have been helped, so why are they all helped? Why not me? I used to think it was because they didn't notice I was going through something, but the second they got wind of my self harm problems the treated me like that. What have I done to deserve this? I still want to know

 

[Toy]

Everyday, I hate how those who contributed to my life being as pointless as it is are so successful and live happy lives, they don't even think about what they've done to my life at all. I have to go through countless years of treatment trying to repair myself over what they did and they can't even bring themselves to at least apologize for ruining my life due to their pride. I gave up on what I wanted to become for my future due to their torment telling me how I would never succeed. Yet, i'm the one who is guilty about it since I'm the one who was "lazy" and "didn't try". It's still ongoing, more and more keeps being added to my pain as I continue to live. Even if I say anything about my pain, they laugh and ignore me. Living is constant torment. Why can't I have a bright future like they do? Why couldn't I grow up living in a normal family having a loving support system around me that won't turn around using my misery and trust against me? There shouldn't be an entire page-worth of traumas that I have to work through. Nobody deserves this, so why is it me?

 

[wastingpotential]

always. i never stopped since the first time i asked myself that. why was it me who was put in this specific moment, situation, life? etc.
the more i had asked myself that everytime something happened, which was/is pretty much everyday, all i can really say to myself is "because i'm me. this is just my life."

it doesn't cheer me up. but it's an answer to the question. that's all there is to it