Does anyone quite often just want to be alone permanently?

[27ClubSoon]

I find so often that I just want to be alone forever. Exiled to some frozen wasteland to live out my days not interacting with anyone anymore.

 

[coolgal82]

me, because all i am to others is a burden. but at the same time i dont think i could last a day truly on my own thats a very scary thought, even as much as i know i deserve it.

 

[noname37]

yeah, i realized it's better that way

 

[Hollowman]

Been wanting to live on an island alone for decades, never going to happen.

 

[sugarb]

Yeah, that'd be nice

 

[CatLvr]

Yep. Gosh, what a wonderful thought.

 

[landslide2]

It sounds really nice and ive had daydreams about it. but i also know it's not at all easy being alone, we're social creatures.

 

[IrishBug]

I thought I needed to be alone so stopped talking to everyone and things got a lot worse so I wouldn't recommend it.

I'm trying to repair the relationships now but it isn't easy and doesn't feel good disappearing for 12 years then reappearing needing some pretty intensive support.

 

[avoid]

I'm obsessed with what others think of me. I overanalyze situations, interpret others' reactions and facial expressions with superfluous care, and behave in a slightly manipulistic way to better the image others have of me. It's so tiring. And often social interactions are more stressful than socially rewarding to me. So I removed myself from my social circles. I'm better off alone because they are not the problem; I am.

The last time I verbally conversed with family or friends was four months ago — digital communication on rare occasions. And weeks go by when I don't speak to anyone but myself, mumbling as I read or write something (such as now haha). I want to think that one day, I can reconnect with my friends. But I feel like I had already grown too far apart when I was still in contact with them. Staying silent will only increase the distance between us to the detriment of potentially salvaging the lost friendships in the future.

I know this is unhealthy behavior. It's self-destructive. But I don't know how I can reconnect and interact with old and new friends without feeling anxious and stressed. TL;DR I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life, but I fear that this lonesome period of four months is a glimpse into my future. I have already grown quite comfortable with being alone.

 

[Trav1989]

Not just be alone, but not exist at all. Actual peace and quiet forever where there are no dreams, nightmares, thoughts, emotions. Even when I'm alone I'm still trapped in my head but to not exist there isn't even a "me" involved and there is only complete nothingness.

Now that sounds like heaven to me.

If I'm around others I'm miserable and if I'm alone I get lonely, if I don't exist that solves both issues

 

[fleetingnight]

Yes. In the past year, I've been wanting solitude more and more.
I think I would be unhappy if I could never interact with people online, but they don't need to be very close interactions. Speaking through comments or DMing for just a few minutes is good enough for me. I feel so anxious and uneasy having to talk to people, especially in person, and avoid it as much as possible.