Story Does anyone own a gun but afraid to pull the trigger?

[HadEnough1974]

Have you ever had a gun in your hand, cocked and loaded but we're afraid to pull the trigger?

 

[Zoltiel]

Yes. I think the scariest thing is surviving with brain damage.

 

[CatLove56]

Almost two years ago. I regret it everyday not pulling the trigger.

 

[mesohappy]

Yeah,a couple times here just recently..The main fear being messing up and not being able to finish,medical debt,disfigurement..Messing things up worse then they already are.

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

2 years ago. Had the gun in my mouth. I couldn't bring myself to pull the trigger that day

 

[SinisterKid]

If I had access to a gun nearly 4 yrs ago, I would not be here now for sure. If that is a good thing or a bad thing, I am not certain either way.

 

[Dwnwrdsprl]

I pulled the trigger and nothing happened. Something snapped inside of me and I decided I needed to get my dog to my parents before I figure out the gun issue. It was enough time to clue my boyfriend into the missing gun and get the cops on my tail. Got arrested and driven to the hospital by the police. It was the worst. I should have just reloaded.

 

[JSauter]

If I had a gun, I would not be on this forum

 

[HadEnough1974]

If I had access to a gun nearly 4 yrs ago, I would not be here now for sure. If that is a good thing or a bad thing, I am not certain either way.

And it's a good thing you didn't because you're a great moderator. We need you here!

On a more serious note, people who end their lives by gun tend to be impulsive. It's too easy, I know. However, I'm my case, it's always been my preferred method. As my handle reads, I've had enough. It's time to go.

 

[Flippy]

If I had a gun, I would not be on this forum

I don't I think would be here either.

 

[squirtsoda]

I used to own quite an arsenal, and was going to pull the trigger in 2018, but then I checked myself in to alcohol detox and the psych ward. I backed off for probably a bunch of reasons but I got a phone call as I was about to squeeze the trigger, it was my step mom. I pulled back and then thought about the mess. Had to clean up a fraternity brother before.

 

[issyishere]

I'm scared to own a gun because i'd be pointing it at my forehead everynight and do something impulsive. Catching the bus should be methodical and planned weeks/months or even years in advance

 

[squirtsoda]

I'm scared to own a gun because i'd be pointing it at my forehead everynight and do something impulsive. Catching the bus should be methodical and planned weeks/months or even years in advance

It is too easy to accidentally discharge some types of weapons. I'm not allowed to own guns anymore. But back in my university days I took a large amount of ambien and was also about to pull the trigger. I was heavily under the influence of the ambien and alcohol and both uncoordinated and not thinking straight. I was simply toggling the safety and obviously holding the gun improperly and the muzzle was pointed toward my face. I inadvertently pulled the trigger and the bullet went probably less than an inch past my left ear and into the ceiling.

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

It is too easy to accidentally discharge some types of weapons. I'm not allowed to own guns anymore. But back in my university days I took a large amount of ambien and was also about to pull the trigger. I was heavily under the influence of the ambien and alcohol and both uncoordinated and not thinking straight. I was simply toggling the safety and obviously holding the gun improperly and the muzzle was pointed toward my face. I inadvertently pulled the trigger and the bullet went probably less than an inch past my left ear and into the ceiling.

Holy shit that had to be scary

 

[squirtsoda]

Holy shit that had to be scary

It was pretty breathtaking. I just sat there on the floor about 10 feet away from my bed and slept there. Still can't hear too well out of my left ear.

 

[Flippy]

I'm scared to own a gun because i'd be pointing it at my forehead everynight and do something impulsive. Catching the bus should be methodical and planned weeks/months or even years in advance

I knew someone who had one, a rare thing where I live. I can remember thinking, good job I didn't get my hands of that a few years ago. I sometimes think it would be the best way for me. But as you say, it can lead to impulsivity and I would probably end up with half a face knowing my luck.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Quite a few years ago I had access to a 12 bore shotgun, the only problem I had was that it was too big for me to actually pull the trigger while having it in a relevant place. The joys of short arms I guess.

 

[HadEnough1974]

I'm scared to own a gun because i'd be pointing it at my forehead everynight and do something impulsive. Catching the bus should be methodical and planned weeks/months or even years in advance

I agree!

 

[TAW122]

I'm not really afraid to pull the trigger per se, I've dry fired many times (maybe to some people that doesn't count), but for me, I didn't want to mess around with live rounds until I'm actually ready to CTB. As of now, my gun is away at storage and don't have direct access to it as I am unable to store it at my parents' home (for risk of them discovering it). Sometimes I wished I had a handgun, it would be much easier to hide in my room. My parents' don't really search the house oftenly, but when comes renovations and moving around stuff, well I can't afford the risk of it being discovered.

 

[Broken Chimera]

I had a revolver years ago. But after I saw several failures it was enough for me not to try.

 

[Flippy]

Quite a few years ago I had access to a 12 bore shotgun, the only problem I had was that it was too big for me to actually pull the trigger while having it in a relevant place. The joys of short arms I guess.

When I think of you or others doing this it sort of freaks me out. Like I really fear for their safety (as daft as it sounds). But when I imagine myself doing it, it's comforting. There's bound to be some sort of German word for that kind of thing lol! :-)

 

[Egddios]

It was pretty breathtaking. I just sat there on the floor about 10 feet away from my bed and slept there. Still can't hear too well out of my left ear.

Damn.



If I had access to a gun, I likely wouldn't be here. I suspect because of my psych history, I wouldn't be allowed a permit at this point anyway.

Recently I thought of 3D printing a gun, which has been done before. In a neighboring city, a couple printed a gun and used it to murder someone.

Link to story, anyone's curious about ghost guns aka 3D printed.

 

[ReneeSuicideAccount]

I got found with a gun to my head once that's how my guns got taken from me. I should have just pulled the trigger and not given it up. If it was anyone other than my wife i would have but I couldn't do that to her.

 

[Passersby]

Yes. Several yrs ago at the start of my troubles I was sitting in a vehicle looking at the ocean with my 9 mm Springfield armory with a real wood grain handle loaded and ready to go. Ended up not pulling the trigger for just a few personal reasons even though I really wanted to and almost did. I figured I would try to at least fight this shit for a while and see if I could win even though then I knew that it was bad and I couldn'. Unfortunately I was right. If I had pulled the trigger the only thing I would have missed out on would have been several more yrs of hardcore physical and mental suffering. So yes now I am ready.

 

[escapefromabuse]

Yesterday I had my 12 gauge to my forehead with an 11/16 open end wrench resting on the trigger (perfect reach and leverage to push the trigger). Couldn't do it. Too messy and too violent. I think of death as something that should be quiet and peaceful, not an explosion of gore. Js

 

[Backwood_tilt]

Yesterday I had my 12 gauge to my forehead with an 11/16 open end wrench resting on the trigger (perfect reach and leverage to push the trigger). Couldn't do it. Too messy and too violent. I think of death as something that should be quiet and peaceful, not an explosion of gore. Js

how'd yoU get to that point?

Glad you're still with us. Many of us would let you vent if you wanted.

 

[escapefromabuse]

how'd yoU get to that point?

Glad you're still with us. Many of us would let you vent if you wanted.

Oh boy is it a long and complicated story. The short version is that I've found myself entangled in court battles with an emotionally abusive woman who seems like she won't rest until I'm completely destroyed (either dead, financially ruined worse than I am, or in jail for contempt of some court order). Yesterday I lost a court hearing that forces me to continue litigating. I was trying to disengage and she won't let me.

 

[HadEnough1974]

Oh boy is it a long and complicated story. The short version is that I've found myself entangled in court battles with an emotionally abusive woman who seems like she won't rest until I'm completely destroyed (either dead, financially ruined worse than I am, or in jail for contempt of some court order). Yesterday I lost a court hearing that forces me to continue litigating. I was trying to disengage and she won't let me.

I'm dealing with a legal situation as well. I can relate.

Oh boy is it a long and complicated story. The short version is that I've found myself entangled in court battles with an emotionally abusive woman who seems like she won't rest until I'm completely destroyed (either dead, financially ruined worse than I am, or in jail for contempt of some court order). Yesterday I lost a court hearing that forces me to continue litigating. I was trying to disengage and she won't let me.

Once you've posted on several forums within 24 hours you'll be granted the ability to send public messages. You can pm me.

 

[voyager]

Have you ever had a gun in your hand, cocked and loaded but we're afraid to pull the trigger?

Nope, no, no, and don't know. Possibly at first, but when it is time I'd go through with it.

If I had access to a gun nearly 4 yrs ago, I would not be here now for sure. If that is a good thing or a bad thing, I am not certain either way.

I think it depends how you see life. To me consciousness and the present is everything. I had great times, followed by some terrible times, and now meaningless times waiting for the end, neither really good nor bad, and as such I don't regret being here at this very moment. Ofc, if something goes wrong in the future I might end up eating my words.

...people who end their lives by gun tend to be impulsive. It's too easy, I know.

That's true and there were points in my life where easy access could have led to killing myself. Otoh though, now that supposedly the worst times have passed it's the ultimate freedom of choice to me. Knowing I could leave anytime, but actually choose not to do it. I find that thought comforting.

There's bound to be some sort of German word for that kind of thing lol! :-)

Probably. German seems to have a word for pretty much every particular situation imaginable. My favourite is "lebensmuede". People tend to use it like "are you stupid" when crossing the road without looking for instance. But the literal translation is actually "tired of life", and I feel that's something all of us can relate to.

 

[TheOA]

I do have one. I am undecided how I feel about them. I am more of a cutter.