Does anyone have that feeling they know they are dying slowly?

[deepinlimbo]

And not just in the getting old sense but they feel their body withering away and breaking down? It can be subtle but it just leaves you feeling like you don't have much time

 

[Wrennie]

And not just in the getting old sense but they feel their body withering away and breaking down? It can be subtle but it just leaves you feeling like you don't have much time

I feel like crap all the time and I wish that I knew that that meant I was slowly making progress toward my death. Instead it just feels like I'm going to be forced to endure more pain for an indefinite period.

 

[deepinlimbo]

I feel like crap all the time and I wish that I knew that that meant I was slowly making progress on my death. Instead it just feels like I'm going to be forced to endure more pain for an indefinite period.

I know I should be enjoying my life, but like you I just feel like crap all the time, most things are a distraction and I try to do so little of what I used to enjoy because ironically it makes me more unhappy and the thought of enduring this idea of every day being crap is to much of a strain.

 

[motel rooms]

yes

 

[BlankUser]

I don't know... I guess I do a lot of damage to my organs because I drink so much alcohol. I know I'm shortening my life span. Sometimes it gives me comfort, sometimes it scares me a bit.

 

[S like suicide]

Oh yes, especially since last summer.It's like something clicked in my head and I started hurting myself physically.This led to consequences.From anger I hit my head and chest with punches and objects.Since then I have started to have pains in my heart and sometimes my heart skips a few beats making me feel like I am fainting. Even my head is now as if it is broken. I feel like I am going completely crazy and I have lost contact with reality and normality. I feel that something has irreversibly changed and I can never go back.honestly i don't know how is it possible that I am still here, survived all this pain and all my fucking depressive crisis, I have been dying very slowly for seven years ... like an evil cancer that doesn't kill you right away but has to painfully wipe off every fucking little drop of blood in your body.

 

[NormaJeane]

Most people will be dying slowly if we do not commit suicide because life expectancy is so high.

 

[Livingvsdying25]

Yes, bc my aspects of my mental health lead to/come out in neglect or down right abuse of things.

Plus, I just stop eating and otherwise taking care of myself so....

Im not as scared of possibly dying anymore tho. Like.... if something just decides to stop functioning or like starts to exhibit signs that it's malfunctioning..

Well Im here for it. I truly don't care at all and whatever kills me faster.

 

[WornOutLife]

Yeah, I do!

I even think I started to feel like I was dying for real as soon as I turned 30.

 

[BlankUser]

Oh yes, especially since last summer.It's like something clicked in my head and I started hurting myself physically.This led to consequences.From anger I hit my head and chest with punches and objects.

I'm so sorry. I also hit my head a lot. I once hit my head with a glass. And I ripped a chunk of my hair out of my head once. Yesterday I punched metal clothing rack multiple times until my hand started to bleed. Now I have bruised hand which hurts when I grip things. No one should suffer like this. If we do such harm to ourselves, it means our lives are very miserable, and yet we are forced to stay in this shithole of a world.

 

[S like suicide]

I'm so sorry. I also hit my head a lot. I once hit my head with a glass. And I ripped a chunk of my hair out of my head once. Yesterday I punched metal clothing rack multiple times until my hand started to bleed. Now I have bruised hand which hurts when I grip things. No one should suffer like this. If we do such harm to ourselves, it means our lives are very miserable, and yet we are forced to stay in this shithole of a world.

:( :( :( my god I feel you .... really. I'm so sorry, it's so sad that we have reached these levels. Thank you, we don't deserve all this suffering, really we don't .... maybe in a past life I was an evil person and this is my punishment or maybe I am possessed by a demon, I don't know what to think anymore .... but depression is really monstrous, it's not just sadness or melancholy, it's really a monster

 

[FuneralCry]

Yeah, I feel like i'm dying inside. I feel quite ill a lot and I feel so tired. I guess it's what living does to people. I just love the sound of eternal sleep. Whatever happens I will never get old. It is one of my worst fears.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

I feel like crap all the time and I wish that I knew that that meant I was slowly making progress toward my death. Instead it just feels like I'm going to be forced to endure more pain for an indefinite period.

This is exactly how I feel too. It's like the suffering - the physical pain AND the emotional/mental pain - never ends, never actually kills me, just keep deteriorating my body and mind indefinitely, like a neverending torture. I am so underweight now for years and I had a cardiologist tell me at least 7 years ago that if anything was going to kill me, it'd be my heart giving out due to my low weight. I haven't been successful in putting on weight due to GI problems so I wish what she said would just happen already, and all this would be OVER.

Yes, bc my aspects of my mental health lead to/come out in neglect or down right abuse of things.

Plus, I just stop eating and otherwise taking care of myself so....

Im not as scared of possibly dying anymore tho. Like.... if something just decides to stop functioning or like starts to exhibit signs that it's malfunctioning..

Well Im here for it. I truly don't care at all and whatever kills me faster.

I feel this. I stopped caring about my hygiene and stuff a long time ago. Well, I care but I have so little energy to spare that I don't care enough to push through and shower every day or wash my face, change clothes..all the basics. My body is shit anyway. It'd be like putting a coat of paint on a rotted, rundown barn.

I'm sorry you feel similarly. It's a bleak way to exist.

 

[aetherless]

And not just in the getting old sense but they feel their body withering away and breaking down? It can be subtle but it just leaves you feeling like you don't have much time

Maybe mines more of an obvious reason (alcohol and drugs), but yes. I feel my time is limited.

 

[Aloneisbestforme]

I feel like i'm rotting away.

Just slowly but surely rotting to death but yea I feel like that but sadly I know i'm not slowly rotting to death.
So i'm just sitting here feeling like garbage hoping I do die one day but knowing something like that is unrealistic

 

[ludoZici]

Not sure my current experience is relevant, my body has been breaking down for the last three years, I haven't a clue from one day to the next what I'm going to navigate physically, which is a total mind fuck. I've been ready for a peaceful end for a while now, and my body's seemingly accelerating debilitation just makes the urgency to end this even greater. I feel you.

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

yup

 

[sensenmann]

Yes, I hope I can do the things I want before it is too late, after that I am okay with dying.

 

[Per Ardua Ad Astra]

Yes

 

[tedbundysprincess]

everyday, it feels like an endless loop. i'm too tired to do basic things anymore, like eating, taking care of my skin, bathing, or getting a good amount of sleep. quite a literal slow dying process