Venting Does Anyone have DID?

[flyingrabbitt]

By DID I mean dissociative identity disorder.
It's a painfully isolating disorder with how faked it is online, it makes me feel even more alone when people are online talking about "sourcemates" or whatever when the disorder doesn't work like that and they're just describing kinning.

I'd love to meet people who actually have the disorder because it's hell to live with, I keep losing time and the parts who are out frequently are children so I act like a child half the time without any control over it. My family know I have DID because I've been diagnosed but I still find it embarrassing. My parts like to announce themselves everytime they're in front because they don't like being seen as me but that makes me so embarrassed and they don't listen to me when I tell them how that makes me feel. I rarely get to talk in therapy now too because a part is working through their trauma which takes up all of our time and I'm so fucking tired of them, I wish i could make them go away and ctb isn't even an option because my parts find out and go to tell someone.

 

[western_heart]

Yes. It's not something I talk about all the time online; I think that can be unhealthy in many contexts. But since I have suicidal alters it's pretty relevant on here and in recovery communities.

Many DID communities are not great, there are a few on Reddit that are tolerable, I just ignore any posts I don't connect with and move on. in my experience, communities that have older users have less noise- I am 35 so I follow older/over 30 subreddits when they exist. I haven't really found any place where I feel comfortable posting. I tend to avoid video content. Still, I've learned a lot of good coping skills online and understand myself better through reading the experiences of others.

I'm sorry to hear about your current experience with therapy. I can kinda relate, my last therapist was pushing for my system to work on trauma even though it was detrimental to my other goals. Protector got really upset because it was making me feel worse & I ended up canceling my therapy altogether.

 

[Fktw0rld]

I was diagnosed with DiD in 2001. Suffered and stuggled horribly for almost 15 years with it. As of 2018 I'm now diagonosed with "unspecified" dissociative disorder but know it's still DiD.

 

[flyingrabbitt]

Many DID communities are not great, there are a few on Reddit that are tolerable, I just ignore any posts I don't connect with and move on. in my experience, communities that have older users have less noise- I am 35 so I follow older/over 30 subreddits when they exist. I haven't really found any place where I feel comfortable posting. I tend to avoid video content. Still, I've learned a lot of good coping skills online and understand myself better through reading the experiences of others.

I've found ones for adults tend to be better but it's hard to find those, I'm only 18 so a lot of ones I have found that seem pretty good I'm too young for still.
Video content is usually pretty bad though I follow a few decent people on tiktok they still tend to be much much older than me which I don't mind but becoming friends just isn't as easy.

I'm sorry to hear about your current experience with therapy. I can kinda relate, my last therapist was pushing for my system to work on trauma even though it was detrimental to my other goals. Protector got really upset because it was making me feel worse & I ended up canceling my therapy altogether.

My therapist is actually really good with not pushing things, it's my parts that want to work through it and feel ready to, it just leaves me with no time to talk in our sessions which sucks. That's an awful experience tho, it really sucks how so many therapists push trauma work onto people so fast.