Venting Does anyone find the idea of not failing kinda depressing?

[bubo]

This sounds really weird for a website all about finding joy in suicide but also I believe the idea of not failing can be quite.. the uneasy feeling.

i've attempted suicide before and i quite obviously failed by the fact i'm here making this post right now but I remember feeling extra empty afterward by the fact i didn't fail because someone stopped me but because of a technical error. I guess what i'm trying to get at is: "does the idea of no one even caring whether you live or die, even those closest to you, even those very few people you can actually trust just not caring enough about you to even notice your absence make you sad?"

there are not many people i trust in this world, i personally believe in misanthropy so humans aren't exactly my favorite kind of creature but there is one human being out there i actually care for though i feel like even if i killed myself they wouldn't care enough to even message me a "hello?" After a week of my vanishing from social media. though i also feel this is a stupid thought as life is meaningless anyways, if no one cares then oh well cuz' you'll be dead and won't have to worry about it anyways. Though it does make me kinda angry that i can't cry over something like this though i want to.


I apologize if this doesn't make any sense or is just incoherent rambling. I think i'm leading up to an episode right now but i'm still curious if anyone else can relate or if i'm being weird again due to the chemical imbalance in my brain.

 

[jodes2]

I don't get it? How is failing a good thing? Sorry you're struggling and you might be having an episode *hugs*

 

[Topacio]

does the idea of no one even caring whether you live or die, even those closest to you, even those very few people you can actually trust just not caring enough about you to even notice your absence make you sad?"

Sometimes, yes. but I can't blame them for that, it's not like I add anything to their lives. When I'm gone, they'll move on, -as they should-

Time does not stand still, not for anything, not for anyone.

 

[bubo]

I don't get it? How is failing a good thing? Sorry you're struggling and you might be having an episode *hugs*

I ended up getting some sleep and i feel better. Now, that i can think i'm pretty sure i more so meant that failing not due to anyone's concern for you and trying to "save" you is kind of an uneasy thought cuz' it means no one cares about you. Not really that it's a good thing at all just failing for the specific reason is tragic in a way.