Venting Does anyone feel like this is the hardest time to try and CTB due to restriction of methods?

[toofargone6969]

Well, it's already the middle of 2023.

I feel like I literally chose the worst time to want to die. I joined this site JUST as IC went down, which was arguably the only legitimate and safe source for 99% purity SN. I purchased from CCS before that too was unavailable but it's not as trustworthy as IC was by a long shot. I'll be testing their SN with nitrite/nitrate test strips tonight and make a post about it.

N is long gone. It seems it may have been available for a short time after D's disappearance but not for long.

F and its analogues are heavily restricted on the dark web, particularly in the last 6 months to a year. Pharma grade opioids are almost impossible to find, F in particular. The dark web in general has gone to shit and is much smaller and regulated than it used to be. In the US there are still vendors that sell F supposedly but it's under code names and who knows what you're really getting.

So every relatively peaceful and pain free method is almost impossible to source or trust, which could mean serious physical and/or mental damage when one tries to CTB via any of these methods. Hanging and firearms are available to me but there's no fucking way I can move forward with either method.

I only wish I had found this site years ago and gotten N as a fail safe. But even a year ago I wouldn't have ever thought I would be where I am now and so badly needing to CTB. I would have never even found this site or searched for such things even though I've had depression all my life.

it's the worst time to want to CTB, anyone else relate?

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes and it will only get worse as time goes on. It really disgusts me how other people wish to make existence into a prison and take away any peaceful and reliable method options, the fact that the right to die isn't accepted just shows the lack of compassion there is towards the suffering people go through in this hellish world.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have to go through all this. It's so incredibly difficult to exit this world. Like you, I joined here not so long ago, after my life situation worsened again. I personally have chosen the CO method years ago already, long before I even knew about SaSu. The utilities for the CO Method are availble everywhere and are not restricted. As an alternative there'd be inert gas/ Nitrogen with exit bag or SCBA mask, but that would ned a significant amount of money to get everything. Another, but not painless method, is cyanide, KCN can relatively easy be produced at home from harmless unrestricted chemicals.

 

[sorrowful]

Yes, in fact it encourages me to do it sooner. Who knows how hard it will be in the future and how many restrictions there will be? It's horrible how we are imprisoned here against our will and forced to suffer until we die naturally. I never truly wanted to live.

 

[toofargone6969]

I'm sorry you have to go through all this. It's so incredibly difficult to exit this world. Like you, I joined here not so long ago, after my life situation worsened again. I personally have chosen the CO method years ago already, long before I even knew about SaSu. The utilities for the CO Method are availble everywhere and are not restricted. As an alternative there'd be inert gas/ Nitrogen with exit bag or SCBA mask, but that would ned a significant amount of money to get everything. Another, but not painless method, is cyanide, KCN can relatively easy be produced at home from harmless unrestricted chemicals.

Thank you. I'm sorry for what you're going through as well. It really sucks we are here and now stuck. How are you doing the CO method? I considered the charcoal in a tent thing but it seems complicated and I really want to die in my bed at night. There's no way I can do the inert gas method as I'm terrible with mechanical things like that

 

[MusicGuy]

Yeah, right now I only see available methods like jumping, railway, hanging... And they are all incredibly violent. Plus they are the ones where SI can kick the most in my opinion, maybe and only maybe in the future there will be an easier option, but I guess it would be restricted too

 

[picklemick]

Yes. I felt so much better when I had SN by IC. Now after a failed attempt, there's no other options. I've tried hanging several times but can't do it. I think I'll just keep being alive even though I don't want to. Just have no working method.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Thank you. I'm sorry for what you're going through as well. It really sucks we are here and now stuck. How are you doing the CO method? I considered the charcoal in a tent thing but it seems complicated and I really want to die in my bed at night. There's no way I can do the inert gas method as I'm terrible with mechanical things like that

Imo it's not complicated it just needs to be planned and prepared well, that's it. I probably will ctb in the bathroom, one day. There are many threads around about the CO method, there was one today already.

 

[toofargone6969]

Yes. I felt so much better when I had SN by IC. Now after a failed attempt, there's no other options. I've tried hanging several times but can't do it. I think I'll just keep being alive even though I don't want to. Just have no working method.

you had a failed attempt with the SN from IC? That's too bad. I wonder what went wrong?
I also cant do hanging, won't even try to attempt it.

Yeah, right now I only see available methods like jumping, railway, hanging... And they are all incredibly violent. Plus they are the ones where SI can kick the most in my opinion, maybe and only maybe in the future there will be an easier option, but I guess it would be restricted too

Yep. It's genuinely fucked up that the only options are super violent and scary. It bothers me so much.

 

[picklemick]

you had a failed attempt with the SN from IC? That's too bad. I wonder what went wrong?
I also cant do hanging, won't even try to attempt it.

Yep. It's genuinely fucked up that the only options are super violent and scary. It bothers me so much.

I had police break into my home after it was mixed. Did not physically consume the SN yet. Was minutes away from doing so

 

[toofargone6969]

I had police break into my home after it was mixed. Did not physically consume the SN yet. Was minutes away from doing so

That is terrible. I'm sorry.

 

[picklemick]

That is terrible. I'm sorry.

After getting released from psych ward I now feel completely trapped. I have no access to any reasonable methods.

 

[leloyon]

Even with a method I previously considered, jumping, pretty much all of the buildings high enough for me to feel comfortable jumping from are restricted to the public, both the rooftops of them and in most cases even entry to the building to begin with.
The only methods I can think of at the minute is illegal for me to even prepare in the first place and I am very worried about failure in one case. Forgive me for not elaborating.

 

[enough of this]

YES! So many of the drugs are no longer available, even by prescription.

 

[gomikasu]

ctb methods are plentiful, you just need to get creative and do the research. Inert gas is readily available and in theory painless, without potential SI. Getting something like heroin isn't too hard through tor/tails, just make sure to use monero and an escrow service. Worst comes to worst making an ied is disgustingly easy, and you just put that behind your neck and light the fuse. The chemical reaction from that is far too fast for your brain to process, even if it's a little messy.

 

[NambaSutra]

Gun method will be available in USA. Politics so probably for a long time.

F is cheap and abundant. So cheap that other illegal drugs are usually cut with F. So it's very unlikely to buy F and get something else.

 

[jacrispy]

ctb methods are plentiful, you just need to get creative and do the research. Inert gas is readily available and in theory painless, without potential SI. Getting something like heroin isn't too hard through tor/tails, just make sure to use monero and an escrow service. Worst comes to worst making an ied is disgustingly easy, and you just put that behind your neck and light the fuse. The chemical reaction from that is far too fast for your brain to process, even if it's a little messy.

can you elaborate on IED? first time I've ever come across it on a thread.

 

[airconditioner]

I don't have access to F, many people who do not do drugs regularly have no dealer. It also places greater blame on the supplier rather than reason. They could be charged without intending death while greater violence occurs in your everyday experience, and this just put an end to it. I do feel that surrounding violence has only increased over time but methods have decreased, forcing you to match methods which are unnecessarily traumatic to all parties. People could argue all forms are traumatic but they're essentially defending and condoning all the preceding suffering before allowing you to take your life (and then only giving you the most violent options available). A gun shot isn't worse than what I have been through but I don't want my last moments to be as violent as the many days preceding it. They think it has to be serious enough to fulfil violent means when in actuality it only forces its sufferer to end as brutally as the reasons they've had to make this decision.

 

[gomikasu]

can you elaborate on IED? first time I've ever come across it on a thread.

Improvised explosive device. Basically you're making a bomb to destroy your spinal cord cutting off the connection from your brain to the rest of your body. I'm not going to tell you how to make bombs here, but with a little digging you can find out and get the needed materials.

 

[toofargone6969]

ctb methods are plentiful, you just need to get creative and do the research. Inert gas is readily available and in theory painless, without potential SI. Getting something like heroin isn't too hard through tor/tails, just make sure to use monero and an escrow service. Worst comes to worst making an ied is disgustingly easy, and you just put that behind your neck and light the fuse. The chemical reaction from that is far too fast for your brain to process, even if it's a little messy.

I've done tons of research. I can't do inert gas unfortunately. I could get drugs online but injection is really the only reliable way to OD and die on heroin and its not easy if you've never done it. Lots of things can go wrong with injection especially your first time. Theres also no way to know what you're really getting. Thats why the PPH doesn't recommend it and only has pharmaceutical options. For someone who has never used drugs it's not a straightforward or reliable method at all. I'm going with SN now probably but not happy about it.

 

[Angel of Spades]

Gun method will be available in USA. Politics so probably for a long time.

F is cheap and abundant. So cheap that other illegal drugs are usually cut with F. So it's very unlikely to buy F and get something else.

I can attest to both. Our school district was recently quite worried about F and many students OD'd on F. It's also commonly mixed with lots of other drugs (as Namba said, lots of other drugs are cut with F) so it's possible to even accidentally OD because of its potency.

 

[Techef]

It certainly seems harder to procure certain materials for CTB'ing using some of the less messy methods when I read about how much more accessible they were in the past. I wonder what's with all the attention on something that probably affects a very small percentage of the population. I also find myself thinking, from a utilitarian standpoint, wouldn't it benefit society more to invest resources spent trying to restrict access to what should be perfectly legal substances/material or censoring certain Internet sites on more productive endeavors?