Does anyone feel like one more bad thing will push them over the edge?

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

Life is filled with pain. Thats it

In order for me to "make friends" and "connections" and shit, I have to deal with the fact that I'll also encounter a lot of bad people too

I feel so emotionally crippled that one more bad experience will make me want to die. I just don't care anymore

 

[Darksektori]

I guess one won't know until that bad thing actually happens to and how one responds to it.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

I'm waiting for it. Just one more thing and I'll have my date... Can't wait!

 

[Mr2005]

So much so just opening a thread is a risk

 

[KibblesNBits]

Yes, which is scary because I have no viable method yet. The strong brand of sleeping pills they sold via Marilyn Monroe's day would have been perfect but god forbid people elect to end their lives peacefully rather than live in pain or be forced to choose less savory methods. Can't have that.

 

[Emily123]

i do . i am really sick of the troubles that people make in my life . last week two rude, aggressive police officers came to my house (i don't expect anything better from the Australia police) . They wasted a lot of time from me and gave me too much stress for a stupid case that they were following (someone else were trying to make trouble for me and they were so stupid /racist to follow me instead of that person . One reason that I want to die is this world is full of stupidity and madness and i don't want to be a part of this game anymore

 

[maru.]

Life is filled with pain. Thats it

In order for me to "make friends" and "connections" and shit, I have to deal with the fact that I'll also encounter a lot of bad people too

I feel so emotionally crippled that one more bad experience will make me want to die. I just don't care anymore

I know what you mean.
Like, that feeling that if things stay the way they are, it's still crap, but i can hold on and get used to it.
However, if this one things happens, or that one thing that i'm afraid of, or that other thing i don't want to happen...
A trigger, that's all it takes.
It feels like we're on a countdown, just waiting for that one thing that will inevitably happen and push us over the edge, we just don't know when.
Still, if we're writing this right now, it means that it hasn't happened yet, and that the last bad experience wasn't enough to bury us for good.
We're holding on, and that's something to be proud of.

Now, about the making friends bit.
I'm gonna try to give some advice because this is something i'm happy with, i have the best friends in the world and i couldn't ask for better ones.
Let me tell you, i've had bad experiences with people before, probably not as bad as yours, i admit it, but still, bullying, especially as a kid, was common for me.
The best advice i can give is, as generic as it sounds, just be yourself, don't think too much and people will come.
Treating people nicely also helps a lot, kindness brings more kindness, at least from my experience.
Of course bad experiences will always happen, relationships will end up dissapointing you, some people will make you miserable...
It's about filtering which relationships will make you sad, and which ones you'll want to have for as long as you live.
Even if it means going through dozens of friendships that don't last only to find that one that does, those are worth living for almost.
Sorry if this was generic and didn't help at all, if i was good at helping others perhaps i could help myself, but no, i'm on a suicide form, that's clearly not the case.
Jokes aside, i hope i was able to help in any way, and feel free to talk more or vent, i feel like i could really help out with this friends issue if we talk more.
Of course, that is if you want to and feel comfortable about talking more, idk.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

I know what you mean.
Like, that feeling that if things stay the way they are, it's still crap, but i can hold on and get used to it.
However, if this one things happens, or that one thing that i'm afraid of, or that other thing i don't want to happen...
A trigger, that's all it takes.
It feels like we're on a countdown, just waiting for that one thing that will inevitably happen and push us over the edge, we just don't know when.
Still, if we're writing this right now, it means that it hasn't happened yet, and that the last bad experience wasn't enough to bury us for good.
We're holding on, and that's something to be proud of.

Now, about the making friends bit.
I'm gonna try to give some advice because this is something i'm happy with, i have the best friends in the world and i couldn't ask for better ones.
Let me tell you, i've had bad experiences with people before, probably not as bad as yours, i admit it, but still, bullying, especially as a kid, was common for me.
The best advice i can give is, as generic as it sounds, just be yourself, don't think too much and people will come.
Treating people nicely also helps a lot, kindness brings more kindness, at least from my experience.
Of course bad experiences will always happen, relationships will end up dissapointing you, some people will make you miserable...
It's about filtering which relationships will make you sad, and which ones you'll want to have for as long as you live.
Even if it means going through dozens of friendships that don't last only to find that one that does, those are worth living for almost.
Sorry if this was generic and didn't help at all, if i was good at helping others perhaps i could help myself, but no, i'm on a suicide form, that's clearly not the case.
Jokes aside, i hope i was able to help in any way, and feel free to talk more or vent, i feel like i could really help out with this friends issue if we talk more.
Of course, that is if you want to and feel comfortable about talking more, idk.

This is a very thoughtful response. Thank you

Yes, which is scary because I have no viable method yet. The strong brand of sleeping pills they sold via Marilyn Monroe's day would have been perfect but god forbid people elect to end their lives peacefully rather than live in pain or be forced to choose less savory methods. Can't have that.

It is so sad. I believe many people are afraid to understand suicide. The idea of one taking their lives is enough to make most people break. Even for those of us who struggle daily, its a challenging battle. Mix trauma, mental illness, physical illness, etc, and it gets very overhwhelming. Obviously we can't just have everyone die, but I feel those who are feeling suicidal would love to have the chance to say how they feel and not be fed with "you're selfish/what about your loved ones/what about your future/aka everything forcing you to live". Yes we may have loved ones, yes we may have future plans. But that doesn't mean our thoughts are any less important. I dont know if we'd ever get to a place of talking about suicide so openly, but I hope for it to happen one day

 

[maru.]

This is a very thoughtful response. Thank you

You're welcome!
Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk to someone, i'm always available.
Take care

 

[Simba]

I know what you mean.
Like, that feeling that if things stay the way they are, it's still crap, but i can hold on and get used to it.
However, if this one things happens, or that one thing that i'm afraid of, or that other thing i don't want to happen...
A trigger, that's all it takes.
It feels like we're on a countdown, just waiting for that one thing that will inevitably happen and push us over the edge, we just don't know when.
Still, if we're writing this right now, it means that it hasn't happened yet, and that the last bad experience wasn't enough to bury us for good.
We're holding on, and that's something to be proud of.

Now, about the making friends bit.
I'm gonna try to give some advice because this is something i'm happy with, i have the best friends in the world and i couldn't ask for better ones.
Let me tell you, i've had bad experiences with people before, probably not as bad as yours, i admit it, but still, bullying, especially as a kid, was common for me.
The best advice i can give is, as generic as it sounds, just be yourself, don't think too much and people will come.
Treating people nicely also helps a lot, kindness brings more kindness, at least from my experience.
Of course bad experiences will always happen, relationships will end up dissapointing you, some people will make you miserable...
It's about filtering which relationships will make you sad, and which ones you'll want to have for as long as you live.
Even if it means going through dozens of friendships that don't last only to find that one that does, those are worth living for almost.
Sorry if this was generic and didn't help at all, if i was good at helping others perhaps i could help myself, but no, i'm on a suicide form, that's clearly not the case.
Jokes aside, i hope i was able to help in any way, and feel free to talk more or vent, i feel like i could really help out with this friends issue if we talk more.
Of course, that is if you want to and feel comfortable about talking more, idk.

I don't know if it helps being yourself to be honest... In any case people will almost always 99% of the time will end up leaving you for some reason or another. Know it from experience too. Unfortunately it can also be my downfall to suicidal thoughts ideation and the act of suicide itself.. most people wouldn't want to be around a person like me anyways.. it doesn't matter what i do it's always most times the same outcome.. i like people and i get attached to them ,if they also like me im not always able to defrenchiate between feelings of friendships to feelings of relationships so sometimes I'll start to fall for them ... The ones i liked sort of left me :( The ones that want to talk to me which make me sad that i just don't have those feelings in my mind towards them and only to the ones that i like and if one of them that i liked said something not nice to me I'll just be "small " and be like as if nothing ever happened and keep to myself or I'll delete whatever it is they said :( not once i was told that it was ok to be who i am ,and that it's alright to have autism and so on... A lot of the teachers team in school look at me as something or someone that needs fixing ... Now i can't stop thinking about the guy that is or was (?) friends with me and it almost seems that whenever i work that alot of times I'll be looking around and I'll be seeing people that look almost VERY like him and then I'd find that they're not him and it just kills me , i don't know what's wrong with me at this point :(

 

[anonymoose]

The harsh reality is most people, even if they are 'good' people, can be shifty fucks. And most people will walk in and out of your life. To date I only have one friend I've stayed in touch with my entire life. The rest faded or things broke. But this has absolutely nothing to do with your worth or ability to make friends. Stay strong friend

 

[maru.]

I don't know if it helps being yourself to be honest... In any case people will almost always 99% of the time will end up leaving you for some reason or another. Know it from experience too. Unfortunately it can also be my downfall to suicidal thoughts ideation and the act of suicide itself.. most people wouldn't want to be around a person like me anyways.. it doesn't matter what i do it's always most times the same outcome.. i like people and i get attached to them ,if they also like me im not always able to defrenchiate between feelings of friendships to feelings of relationships so sometimes I'll start to fall for them ... The ones i liked sort of left me :( The ones that want to talk to me which make me sad that i just don't have those feelings in my mind towards them and only to the ones that i like and if one of them that i liked said something not nice to me I'll just be "small " and be like as if nothing ever happened and keep to myself or I'll delete whatever it is they said :( not once i was told that it was ok to be who i am ,and that it's alright to have autism and so on... A lot of the teachers team in school look at me as something or someone that needs fixing ... Now i can't stop thinking about the guy that is or was (?) friends with me and it almost seems that whenever i work that alot of times I'll be looking around and I'll be seeing people that look almost VERY like him and then I'd find that they're not him and it just kills me , i don't know what's wrong with me at this point :(

I agree, a lot of times we need to adapt how we behave, depending on the situation, the group we're with, etc.

I just think that as relationships go deeper, it's important to show more of the real you, because when we play characters we end up being more superficial, and as a consequence the friendship becomes weaker and easier to lose.

It's a gradual process, and we need to judge what is appropriate to show and what isn't, but still, the most important factor, at least to me, for a strong bond between two people, any kind of bond, is transparency and honesty.

We are all human after all, the moment you explain why you did something, why you think a certain way, why you act like this or that, it connects to the humanity in all of us and generates empathy.

Maybe I've just had lucky experiences, maybe I'm just not expressing myself and my ideas well, i don't know tbh, i know this can be a sensitive topic tbh, so I apologize if I hurt anyone at any point.

I hope all of you can get the good friendships you deserve at some point, because in this hellhole of a world we live in, it's the most beautiful thing there is, I'll try to help in any way I can.

 

[plough22]

Yes I am fully aware that one more thing will push me over, I know what it is, I've had enough of this, I try try to be a good person, I hope karma comes to those. Yes one thing is what'll send me to ctb

 

[Saddaisy]

This was how I felt last year, and that one thing happened. Now I'm at less than 2 weeks. So I'm going to eat like crap and do nothing but play with my dog and my cat. It's such a surreal feeling knowing in a couple weeks it'll be over.

 

[Kumachan]

already have enough bad things, boring things, irritating things etc. More shit wont make much difference.

 

[Simba]

I agree, a lot of times we need to adapt how we behave, depending on the situation, the group we're with, etc.

I just think that as relationships go deeper, it's important to show more of the real you, because when we play characters we end up being more superficial, and as a consequence the friendship becomes weaker and easier to lose.

It's a gradual process, and we need to judge what is appropriate to show and what isn't, but still, the most important factor, at least to me, for a strong bond between two people, any kind of bond, is transparency and honesty.

We are all human after all, the moment you explain why you did something, why you think a certain way, why you act like this or that, it connects to the humanity in all of us and generates empathy.

Maybe I've just had lucky experiences, maybe I'm just not expressing myself and my ideas well, i don't know tbh, i know this can be a sensitive topic tbh, so I apologize if I hurt anyone at any point.

I hope all of you can get the good friendships you deserve at some point, because in this hellhole of a world we live in, it's the most beautiful thing there is, I'll try to help in any way I can.

You didn't hurt me you're alright and i agree with being honest and transparent but a lot don't always like it unfortunately :( when a friendship or relationship (rare) doesn't go well i get extremely depressed for days (yet still functional somehow ) and i have this deep mood and sense that im basically nothing and i should just die already and get it all over with :(

 

[Meowkin]

It sounds like you're feeling very fragile and uncertain how to deal with the challenges you know you'll face in the world. Life is scary especially when you feel close to that point where you're looking over the edge and it's hard to turn back.

I get it. I think I've reached that point and I see myself making a free fall.

 

[Samsa]

Nope. I have reached that point many years ago. Since then I have faced a lot of additional strange, bitter and hurting experiences with beginning or worsening physical illnesses which just add up to that status of being ready. However, I am currently at the stage of being very calm and almost designing because I obviously want my first attempt to be successful. Therefore the right steps and precautions must be taken wisely.

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

Definitely - So tired of life's bullshit all the time. When something good happens this will always be ruined by something. It's like I'm trying to fight for support for my Autism but then I don't know why I am even bothering because i'm tried of fighting and tired of the same old bullshit. I'm just waiting for one more thing to happen then i'm done. I give up.

 

[StillWaiting]

Need to better start planning for my exit so that once the bad thing comes, I will be finally ready to leave.

 

[Darksektori]

I'm guessing many of us are here because that "one more bad thing" has already happened.