Does anyone else want their sadness to consume them?

[sserafim]

Does anyone else want their sadness to consume them? Personally, I want to wallow in my misery and drown in my despair. There's something comforting about melancholy. I want to become so unbearably unhappy that I reach the point of no return.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

unfortunately once you're completely entrenched in ur misery & despondency, it's only a matter of time before u get used to it & it turns into apathy/not gaf abt anything. v hard to get yourself to ctb in this state :// wish i had kms when i felt that constant overwhelming anguish.

 

[exiled]

No, I see nothing poetic or beautiful about my tragedies. I do not want to be sad. I do not want to be in pain. It is excruciating and I wish I did not have to endure this. I want to heal, but accept that I may not, and that it may lead to CTB.

 

[Silent Raindrops]

unfortunately once you're completely entrenched in ur misery & despondency, it's only a matter of time before u get used to it & it turns into apathy/not gaf abt anything. v hard to get yourself to ctb in this state :// wish i had kms when i felt that constant overwhelming anguish.

I agree here. After so long, you become so numb to the sadness, you almost don't feel it anymore.

 

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

Already did, i have complete anhedonia all day everyday unless i enter a manic mood haha fuck

Then you get bored of the whole fucking thing and being sad gets even tiring after a while.

Im just in a weird void thats sort of just meh tbh, cool sheeeit

 

[sserafim]

unfortunately once you're completely entrenched in ur misery & despondency, it's only a matter of time before u get used to it & it turns into apathy/not gaf abt anything. v hard to get yourself to ctb in this state :// wish i had kms when i felt that constant overwhelming anguish.

Most days I feel apathy as well, but I've recently started feeling sad again and I wish that my sadness could consume me. I just want to be sad forever.

 

[divinemistress36]

If it gets me to finally kill myself

 

[ijustwishtodie]

No, I don't want to suffer anymore than I have to. Though, either way, regardless of whether I want to be consumed by sadness or not, the fact remains that I am consumed by sadness and will continue to be consumed until I'm dead (or asleep but that's only temporary)

 

[SueAsyde]

I do. I feel like resisting and fighting it is just exhausting to me, I want to stop fighting and just let this side of me get the control. So I can finally be at peace.

 

[Doemu]

Yes, I would like to just dying of sorrow. That my body just understand, we have to take no more.

 

[Nofuture1234]

Mine already consumed me a while ago. It still never snuffs out the survival instinct or false hope though. Not in my experience anyway

 

[thetruetato]

Does anyone else want their sadness to consume them? Personally, I want to wallow in my misery and drown in my despair. There's something comforting about melancholy. I want to become so unbearably unhappy that I reach the point of no return.

Honestly yes. I'm currently stuck in some kind of depressive equilibrium where I'm as depressed as possible without being able to override survival instinct and end everything.

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

Just want to end it all

 

[tunnelV]

It already has. My brain is so destroyed after years of this. I can't see it ever being repaired or normal again. The best thing I own is my dog and she use to make me happy all of the time. Now I just feel bad that she has such a shitty depression boring owner.

 

[HereTomorrow]

In a weird way, long deep sadness is comforting. It fogs up my mind so much that it feels comfortable to just stay in bed all day under the blankets and not move, feeling like an eternity when it's only been another afternoon.

To let the sadness consume me makes me feel like I don't have to care about anything, and anything that has to be done can wait, if it even gets done in the end. It rarely feels agonizing until I struggle to get out of it or even socialize with real people, then I realize I'm safer just not trying and wallowing in this depressing void for another day.

 

[Leavesfromthevine]

I've already reached that point. It happened without me being aware of it. I don't regret it though it's going to make ctb a lot easier at least.

 

[Captive_Mind515]

No, because I will become completely useless and incapacitated by it. Then life will inevitably become even more difficult… I don't see the point of welcoming more misery through the door.

I will try to keep the worst at bay, so I can maintain some measure of composure. When I do leave, I want to be in control of my emotions. I think I would just fear I would make completely irrational decisions and possibly a hasty ctb attempt that might go badly wrong!

But, I can certainly understand if someone felt that allowing it to completely consume them would help with getting over SI… I'm just doubtful this approach would work for me.

 

[kindalone]

I wish my sadness could actually kill me because I'm already drowning in it. I hope it's gonna push me in the right direction at least.

 

[Leichter Kampfwagen]

unfortunately once you're completely entrenched in ur misery & despondency, it's only a matter of time before u get used to it & it turns into apathy/not gaf abt anything. v hard to get yourself to ctb in this state :// wish i had kms when i felt that constant overwhelming anguish.

Wow, you described my evolution precisely. Also wish I killed myself while I was experiencing abject agony, but now I'm numb and just procrastinate. There is no impetus to ctb which sucks.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

Wow, you described my evolution precisely. Also wish I killed myself while I was experiencing abject agony, but now I'm numb and just procrastinate. There is no impetus to ctb which sucks.

i'm sorry u can relate :// i h8 this for us, it blows. what do u think would help motivate u to kys?? i think having a ctb partner who's determined to kts would help me finally do it.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Only if it will kill me by doing so.

Except it doesn't have the mercy to do so.

 

[BlockHammer]

I honestly dont wanna to feel that, it's just my current situation makes my sadeness comsume me again and again

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Anyone on this side of SaSu would be lying if they say they didn't.

 

[SMmetalhead36]

I don't but the regret I have is causing me to.
I don't but the regret I have is causing me to.

 

[VoidedExistence]

Does anyone else want their sadness to consume them? Personally, I want to wallow in my misery and drown in my despair. There's something comforting about melancholy. I want to become so unbearably unhappy that I reach the point of no return.

I don't really understand it tbh, I often do think about being depressed and miserable for the rest of my life. Maybe because I don't know what happy is because unhappiness is all what I seem to know.

 

[MiMif]

Does anyone else want their sadness to consume them? Personally, I want to wallow in my misery and drown in my despair. There's something comforting about melancholy. I want to become so unbearably unhappy that I reach the point of no return.

I either feel miserable or nothing ...and there's something strangely creepy and ambiguous about feeling nothing so I prefer to wallow in sadness and misery

But recently I can barely even get myself to even feel miserable anymore.. honest wondering if I'm even alive at this point

 

[bludgeoned]

i wish i felt as bad as i did when my ex was abusing me verbally and psychologically. i dont know why. i kept trying to ctb ever time i talked with her, every second i was alive then. its all i know, i want to go back to her sometimes. im disgusted with myself because i have therapy and people who love me but i just wish i was miserable again. its the familiarity of it i think

 

[ringo99]

I read somewhere about broken heart syndrome where you literally die of a heart attack after suffering deep sadness. Doesn't seem to work in my case. Been that way for over 20 years

 

[Forever Sleep]

It depends on what type of sadness I'm feeling. That melancholy sadness can be kind of nice and familiar but deep grief though? There's nothing comfortable about that and I'm pretty sure that's what's coming for me. For me, it's grieving the loss of people and that kind of grief hurts all the way inside and it won't ever completely pass because that person has gone and, part of you went with them. I wish we could die of a broken heart. When I was young, I used to cry so intensely hoping it would put enough strain on my heart to kill me but (evidently,) it didn't work.

 

[lain_iwa]

it has consumed me in a way. it's all i think about from the time i wake up until i go to bed. lately i've been feeling a big relief though, because ill never have to make decisions again soon