Does anyone else suffer with psychosis? (voices/hallucinations/delusions?)

[Fluke]

The mood stuff is horrible (anxiety and depression) I feel most people here experience and 'get' those. But I feel really isolated as I'm the only person I know who has psychosis. I see thing which aren't there. There's an evil figure which follows me around and will sometimes touch me. It's really scary. For me, I know it isn't real most of the time, but it's horrible. I have voiced tell me things, and stress makes it worse, but it's obviously really stressful to have it. The NHS hasn't been helpful, and I'm wanting to catch the bus to stop it all.

Just wondering if there's anyone else as fucked up in the head as me? Any other psychosis sufferers here?

My first post, so hi.

 

[solacely]

I deal with psychosis too. It gets really bad when I'm extra depressed and I stopped taking my antipsychotics recently because of side effects so it's pretty much nonstop. Actually had to be hospitalized once because I was completely out of touch with reality. I seriously hope it never gets to that point again.

 

[Fluke]

Nice to meet a fellow sufferer, if you can call it nice without being rude.
I've been hospitalised twice. The first one I had a complete reality break and thought a demon was coming to hurt me. Since then I have good 'insight' as they say, like I'll know I'm experiencing something which is not 'real' most of the time now. And I can reality check pretty well. But it's so fucking disturbing anyway, and the more you want it gone the stronger it comes on.
How has coming off the meds been for you? How's longs it been now? Will you go back on them? I'm changing meds at the moment. What kind of psychosis stuff do you usually experience?
Thanks for chatting.

 

[medusa]

Nice to meet a fellow sufferer, if you can call it nice without being rude.
I've been hospitalised twice. The first one I had a complete reality break and thought a demon was coming to hurt me. Since then I have good 'insight' as they say, like I'll know I'm experiencing something which is not 'real' most of the time now. And I can reality check pretty well. But it's so fucking disturbing anyway, and the more you want it gone the stronger it comes on.
How has coming off the meds been for you? How's longs it been now? Will you go back on them? I'm changing meds at the moment. What kind of psychosis stuff do you usually experience?
Thanks for chatting.

that sounds really bad.
Have you tried any alternative healing methods like for example consulting with a priest?
I know it sounds ridiculous, but there have been cases like yours and after the treatment the voices stopped

 

[Bilbobaggins]

Stopping antipsychotic med is risky. 80% chance relapse to psychosis apparently. I got sloppy with taking my abilify (Aripiprazole) and got in some stress and almost fell right back off the ledge. Been institutionalised twice with psychotic episodes. Not good.

I changed from Olanzapine to Aripiprazole: the transition was rough but glad I did it. Olanzapine is a zombifier.

 

[Fluke]

that sounds really bad.
Have you tried any alternative healing methods like for example consulting with a priest?
I know it sounds ridiculous, but there have been cases like yours and after the treatment the voices stopped

Eeh, part of me wants to just because anything might work as a placebo. But I'm all for evidence based medicine, psychosis has been around as long as humans, and there are more tried and tested methods which have been shown to work.

 

[solacely]

Nice to meet a fellow sufferer, if you can call it nice without being rude.
I've been hospitalised twice. The first one I had a complete reality break and thought a demon was coming to hurt me. Since then I have good 'insight' as they say, like I'll know I'm experiencing something which is not 'real' most of the time now. And I can reality check pretty well. But it's so fucking disturbing anyway, and the more you want it gone the stronger it comes on.
How has coming off the meds been for you? How's longs it been now? Will you go back on them? I'm changing meds at the moment. What kind of psychosis stuff do you usually experience?
Thanks for chatting.

I can completely relate. I've been dealing with it for so long that I can mostly ignore my hallucinations and go on with my day. I just reassure myself that they aren't real and that they won't hurt me. It is really scary at times though.
The antipsychotic I went off of was Latuda. I stopped taking it because it made me very nauseous and my doctor wanted me to eat at least 350 calories before taking it so the nausea wouldn't be as bad but I really couldn't bring myself to because I also struggle with anorexia. Been off it for probably around a month now. No withdrawals that I can remember but I was on a low dose to begin with. It really did help with my hallucinations though and was the only antipsychotic I was on with the least worse side effect and I've been on just about every single one. I've actually been considering going back on it these past few days since my hallucinations are really starting to freak me the fuck out and I still have extra bottles of the stuff.
I have visual and auditory hallucinations. I'll see these creepy faces of people that I don't even know and there's a shadow man that follows me around and watches me all the time. I also have command hallucinations telling me to hurt myself and other people and to do things I shouldn't which usually ends with me having a complete mental breakdown and hurting myself. I have less severe hallucinations too like seeing bugs and hearing the doorbell ring when there's no one around but those are just mild annoyances that I can ignore. Thankfully I rarely have delusions which is a plus I guess.

 

[Maravillosa]

I have depression with psychotic features. Usually the Abilify that I take daily (along with the Bupropion XL for depression) helps prevent auditory hallucinations, but a few weeks ago, I had some depersonalization while I was giving Communion to patients in a convalescent home. It was as if I were outside of myself and could hear my voice as others hear it. Not good. It is a marvel that I was able to act as if nothing wrong was happening to me.

 

[Fluke]

I can completely relate. I've been dealing with it for so long that I can mostly ignore my hallucinations and go on with my day. I just reassure myself that they aren't real and that they won't hurt me. It is really scary at times though.
The antipsychotic I went off of was Latuda. I stopped taking it because it made me very nauseous and my doctor wanted me to eat at least 350 calories before taking it so the nausea wouldn't be as bad but I really couldn't bring myself to because I also struggle with anorexia. Been off it for probably around a month now. No withdrawals that I can remember but I was on a low dose to begin with. It really did help with my hallucinations though and was the only antipsychotic I was on with the least worse side effect and I've been on just about every single one. I've actually been considering going back on it these past few days since my hallucinations are really starting to freak me the fuck out and I still have extra bottles of the stuff.
I have visual and auditory hallucinations. I'll see these creepy faces of people that I don't even know and there's a shadow man that follows me around and watches me all the time. I also have command hallucinations telling me to hurt myself and other people and to do things I shouldn't which usually ends with me having a complete mental breakdown and hurting myself. I have less severe hallucinations too like seeing bugs and hearing the doorbell ring when there's no one around but those are just mild annoyances that I can ignore. Thankfully I rarely have delusions which is a plus I guess.

Woah, it's weird to hear your account which is so similar to my own! The doorbell thing! It goes off all the time and I have to work out if it's actual post or just my brain. And the shadows man, I have 2 of those who are slightly different, but both unpleasant. One doesn't talk but the other does.
One says command stuff, but it's mostly random shit "sit on that chair" but he says persecutory things as well.
And the bugs. Damn.

And yeah, you get used to the hallucinations, though they suck a lot, and people don't understand. And sometimes there worse. But they are just part of life in the end.

Although I do get delusions, they a kind of like he hallucinations, in that I can rationalise they are not real but they are still compelling. I thought there was space-ships going to invade last night and that was scary, but I kept telling myself it wasn't real. Luckily I looked at the sky and the clouds were in the shape of a heart and that made me 'know' that if they did come to watch it would be in love. Yeah.

I'm going to go on an antipsychotic med I think now. I've been hesitant to try them because of the side effects, and my anti depressant has been alright up till this point recently.
Hope you make a decision which works for you with the meds. If the hallucinations are bad the meds could help. I know I'm at the point where I need help with it anyway.
Might you try a different med? Good luck.

 

[Fluke]

I have depression with psychotic features. Usually the Abilify that I take daily (along with the Bupropion XL for depression) helps prevent auditory hallucinations, but a few weeks ago, I had some depersonalization while I was giving Communion to patients in a convalescent home. It was as if I were outside of myself and could hear my voice as others hear it. Not good. It is a marvel that I was able to act as if nothing wrong was happening to me.

Well done for being able to act normally.
I can do that quite a lot, to the point where people think I'm fine or not seeing anything. I find it hard to talk about this stuff. So my friends hardly know at all. I'm 'sucessful' is social settings, and people get a good view on me because how I present myself and I'm kind to people and listen (who doesn't like that) but it means I'm totally assumed to be alright. When I feel like ctb. There's such a stigma about this in society. I don't know how to deal with it or talk about it effectively.

 

[sky7]

I have had times where the walls appeared to move, but they called them "perceptual disturbances" instead of hallucinations. I also get the sensation that I'm talking when I'm not, and that other people can hear me. Its super weird and evidently in my case anxiety-related as opposed to psychoses, along with some depersonalization and derealization experiences.

 

[medusa]

Eeh, part of me wants to just because anything might work as a placebo. But I'm all for evidence based medicine, psychosis has been around as long as humans, and there are more tried and tested methods which have been shown to work.

I'm really sorry you have to go through this. I only have depression and anxiety and am feeling like I am losing my mind. I can't even begin to imagine what life is like for you. I have had a hallucination once and it was terrifying.
I would try the priest thing- I'm a big believer in the afterlife and there have been creepy cases with demons. I can totally understand though if you don't want to or don't believe. It's up to you!

 

[Fluke]

I have had times where the walls appeared to move, but they called them "perceptual disturbances" instead of hallucinations. I also get the sensation that I'm talking when I'm not, and that other people can hear me. Its super weird and evidently in my case anxiety-related as opposed to psychoses, along with some depersonalization and derealization experiences.

Personally I think these things are all along a spectrum. Even completely healthy people have some experiences like psychosis (hearing their name called when no ones there, seeing things out of the corner of their eye) as the brain processes reality in a messy way. It's we are further along. I get the walls moving thing too sometimes, although it is one of the easier ones because I'm mostly like 'oh that looks cool/ is certainly not happening'
Your talking when you're not thing is not that similar to anything I experience though. How doesn't it feel? Do you hear the sound of your voice? Or feel your voiceboox 'talking' but hear nothing? Or like, you can talk into pearls brains? Like telekinesis? They can hear you in their head?

 

[Phro]

There is a psychosis piece to my illness. That's the piece that's going to lead to my death.

 

[sky7]

Your talking when you're not thing is not that similar to anything I experience though. How doesn't it feel? Do you hear the sound of your voice? Or feel your voiceboox 'talking' but hear nothing? Or like, you can talk into pearls brains? Like telekinesis? They can hear you in their head?

I honestly don't know how to describe it. It just feels like I'm physically still speaking, to the point where I hold my hand over my mouth to verify that I'm not and I know that it is ridiculous. I can hear myself and feel that others can too, when I know they can't. It doesn't happen frequently but is really distressing when it does. When I asked my coworkers if they ever experienced something similar, they looked at me like I was crazy.

 

[DeathBecomesMe]

I can completely relate. I've been dealing with it for so long that I can mostly ignore my hallucinations and go on with my day. I just reassure myself that they aren't real and that they won't hurt me. It is really scary at times though.
The antipsychotic I went off of was Latuda. I stopped taking it because it made me very nauseous and my doctor wanted me to eat at least 350 calories before taking it so the nausea wouldn't be as bad but I really couldn't bring myself to because I also struggle with anorexia. Been off it for probably around a month now. No withdrawals that I can remember but I was on a low dose to begin with. It really did help with my hallucinations though and was the only antipsychotic I was on with the least worse side effect and I've been on just about every single one. I've actually been considering going back on it these past few days since my hallucinations are really starting to freak me the fuck out and I still have extra bottles of the stuff.
I have visual and auditory hallucinations. I'll see these creepy faces of people that I don't even know and there's a shadow man that follows me around and watches me all the time. I also have command hallucinations telling me to hurt myself and other people and to do things I shouldn't which usually ends with me having a complete mental breakdown and hurting myself. I have less severe hallucinations too like seeing bugs and hearing the doorbell ring when there's no one around but those are just mild annoyances that I can ignore. Thankfully I rarely have delusions which is a plus I guess.

Woah, it's weird to hear your account which is so similar to my own! The doorbell thing! It goes off all the time and I have to work out if it's actual post or just my brain. And the shadows man, I have 2 of those who are slightly different, but both unpleasant. One doesn't talk but the other does.
One says command stuff, but it's mostly random shit "sit on that chair" but he says persecutory things as well.
And the bugs. Damn.

And yeah, you get used to the hallucinations, though they suck a lot, and people don't understand. And sometimes there worse. But they are just part of life in the end.

Although I do get delusions, they a kind of like he hallucinations, in that I can rationalise they are not real but they are still compelling. I thought there was space-ships going to invade last night and that was scary, but I kept telling myself it wasn't real. Luckily I looked at the sky and the clouds were in the shape of a heart and that made me 'know' that if they did come to watch it would be in love. Yeah.

I'm going to go on an antipsychotic med I think now. I've been hesitant to try them because of the side effects, and my anti depressant has been alright up till this point recently.
Hope you make a decision which works for you with the meds. If the hallucinations are bad the meds could help. I know I'm at the point where I need help with it anyway.
Might you try a different med? Good luck.

When I glanced over the subject header, I thought to myself, nope no hallucinations here, except for the doorbell. Then I see you guys also hearing the doorbell. My doorbell plays a tune and sometimes the tune would play non stop, mostly upon waking in the morning. This occurred when I was at my lowest point mentally.

I'm not sure how your doorbells operate, but mine is a wireless battery operated bell, and I suspected that it was the frequency that my subconscious was picking up on as the communication between transmitter and receiver is constant regardless of the doorbell being rung.

Other than that, I had visual light sensitivity with flashes and warps but I'm almost sure that was after effects of smoking a bit of Salvia.

I have a few friends in town who suffered drug related psychosis'. It's no joke! I wish you guys the best, be strong and try to distract yourselves if possible.

 

[windingdown]

I have schizoaffective disorder, a sort of variation of bipolar, where I swing between depression and psychosis. It sounds worse than it is, perhaps, because I am OK (normal) the majority of the time, but I've had two extended psychotic episodes since last year, each one lasting several months. I've been in the psych hospital 6 times for psychosis. I'm between anti-psychotic medications now, but about to try a new one. The most recent one, Saphris, gives me tardive dyskinesia. I think my new psychiatrist will have me try Latuda next. I've tried 7 medications so far.

The psychosis I've experienced has been a combination of visceral / auditory / visual hallucinations, plus delusions. The delusions have been really out there. When I've been psychotic, I've heard voices non-stop, and I would believe the totally fantastical/delusional things they would tell me. I've had several psychotic breaks - episodes of breaking from reality, where I did something really aberrational.

I don't want to die because of the psychotic experiences per se, but because of the broader unlikelihood of being able to live a normal, fulfilling life. The depression I experience is more debilitating than the psychosis, because at least the psychosis goes away with treatment. The depression just saps my will to work and to put in an effort in life. (Although I'm listening to my favorite music right now so am feeling rather chipper.)

You're definitely not alone!

 

[Final Escape]

The mood stuff is horrible (anxiety and depression) I feel most people here experience and 'get' those. But I feel really isolated as I'm the only person I know who has psychosis. I see thing which aren't there. There's an evil figure which follows me around and will sometimes touch me. It's really scary. For me, I know it isn't real most of the time, but it's horrible. I have voiced tell me things, and stress makes it worse, but it's obviously really stressful to have it. The NHS hasn't been helpful, and I'm wanting to catch the bus to stop it all.

Just wondering if there's anyone else as fucked up in the head as me? Any other psychosis sufferers here?

My first post, so hi.

Yes, it can be paralyzing. I think Adderall doesn't help. I try to use in moderation but bc it effects sleep and how my brain works I'm more prone to psycosis if I'm not careful with it. I try to take days off if I'm feeling a little crazy lol!