Does anyone else see suicide as revenge?

[TRIXI3]

I have suddenly had the major urge to CTB for many reasons, but one big one is to get revenge towards everyone who did wrong by me so that they can feel some sort of guilt and have to live with the fact that they are the ones who potentially pushed me over the edge to do it… does anyone else feel this way? Just curious…

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

Sometimes I think there are people who would most definitely get a name check in a final video or something. Make them think twice about distressing others.

 

[carac]

Not really revenge for me, more like "i told you so"

 

[SVEN]

Nope, just escape.

 

[Tokugawa_Yoshinobu]

The people who wronged me would like to see me die so this wouldn't really work.

 

[Mrpickles]

CTB for the sake of revenge would be for the wrong reasons. It implies whoever you are trying to get the point across to, really was in control, the entire time. If they didn't like them, they will dislike you even more. But everyone is entitled to their opinion on it. Just my 2 cents.

 

[claraisnotcarol]

I feel very bad saying it outloud but yeah, I can't say I haven't thought about it. I mean apart from the other hundred reasons. revenge is not by all means my purpose, but when I'm having a very bpd splitting day I have this serious intrusive thought about writing horrible letters for when I ctb for specific people so they have to bear with the guilt. even if it's not their fault at all.
then when I have a good they and I analyze all those thought or things that I've said I'm horrified

I feel very bad saying it outloud but yeah, I can't say I haven't thought about it. I mean apart from the other hundred reasons. revenge is not by all means my purpose, but when I'm having a very bpd splitting day I have this serious intrusive thought about writing horrible letters for when I ctb for specific people so they have to bear with the guilt. even if it's not their fault at all.
then when I have a good they and I analyze all those thought or things that I've said I'm horrified

a good day*

 

[iLikeFrogs]

In some way yes; to the girl who sa'ed me and who abused me. it's rather a cry for help and relief from mortal bounds for me.

 

[kilowatt]

Yeah. I'm aware it's selfish but sometimes I just want people to realize I wasn't quiet for no reason and mental health is nothing to joke about. I kind of want to be set as an example for my close ones.

 

[Obliviate]

If revenge meaning make my abusive family and society feel guilty as fuck then yes.

 

[snowcloud9]

There are, but according to Beck's suicide intent scale, suicide for purposes of revenge indicate lower suicidality.

Q9. Alleged Purpose of Attempt
0. To manipulate environment, get attention, revenge
1. Components of "0" and "2"
2. To escape, surcease, solve problems

You can read more about it here. If you're curious, in a separate study I read that CO suicides had a score about 21, where OD suicides were about 20.

https://beckinstitute.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/SIS-Full-Documents.pdf

 

[Foreverix]

Revenge against life itself, not so much the living. I feel I've done more damage than what's been done to me.

 

[TRIXI3]

The people who wronged me would like to see me die so this wouldn't really work.

I've also worried about them getting the satisfaction of my death…

CTB for the sake of revenge would be for the wrong reasons. It implies whoever you are trying to get the point across to, really was in control, the entire time. If they didn't like them, they will dislike you even more. But everyone is entitled to their opinion on it. Just my 2 cents.

Completely understandable perspective… that's my biggest fear of partially feeling obligated to CTB due to other's actions.

 

[Dying2077]

Anger, sadness, and happiness are chemistry in your mind that anyone can use as a way to encourage themselves to die.

 

[TRIXI3]

I feel very bad saying it outloud but yeah, I can't say I haven't thought about it. I mean apart from the other hundred reasons. revenge is not by all means my purpose, but when I'm having a very bpd splitting day I have this serious intrusive thought about writing horrible letters for when I ctb for specific people so they have to bear with the guilt. even if it's not their fault at all.
then when I have a good they and I analyze all those thought or things that I've said I'm horrified

a good day*

As a person with BPD, I completely get this and I think that is the whole reason for me even beginning this thread in the first place.

Yeah. I'm aware it's selfish but sometimes I just want people to realize I wasn't quiet for no reason and mental health is nothing to joke about. I kind of want to be set as an example for my close ones.

THIS!!!

If revenge meaning make my abusive family and society feel guilty as fuck then yes.

also, THIS!

 

[BlazingBob]

If revenge meaning make my abusive family and society feel guilty as fuck then yes.

Exactly. While revenge isn't even on my long list of reasons, I hope my death hits the people hard who abandoned me once I got sick. People who I helped and when the shoe was on the other foot were nowhere to be found.

 

[With0ut]

I have suddenly had the major urge to CTB for many reasons, but one big one is to get revenge towards everyone who did wrong by me so that they can feel some sort of guilt and have to live with the fact that they are the ones who potentially pushed me over the edge to do it… does anyone else feel this way? Just curious…

This is one of my main reasons but i don't know if i should name drop because i have also done shitty things they could use against me (they all did much worse)

 

[LetMeBeSad]

I use to think that way when I was younger but, I realized that they wouldn't care. If they don't care then it's no revenge. Revenge has to be hurtful in order to be revenge.

 

[sserafim]

I have suddenly had the major urge to CTB for many reasons, but one big one is to get revenge towards everyone who did wrong by me so that they can feel some sort of guilt and have to live with the fact that they are the ones who potentially pushed me over the edge to do it… does anyone else feel this way? Just curious…

I see suicide as more of an escape. Maybe revenge on this hellish capitalist system and society? But it's more like rebellion rather than revenge. I refuse to participate in the system and I never will. I will ctb to escape it. I will rebel against the system.

Revenge against life itself, not so much the living. I feel I've done more damage than what's been done to me.

I also want to ctb as revenge against life itself as well. I hate my life and living so I think putting an end to it is the best revenge.

 

[Georgehelm]

I have suddenly had the major urge to CTB for many reasons, but one big one is to get revenge towards everyone who did wrong by me so that they can feel some sort of guilt and have to live with the fact that they are the ones who potentially pushed me over the edge to do it… does anyone else feel this way? Just curious…

I don't personally feel like this but I've seen a lot of people that do and I've seen people that have live streamed their death as revenge against certain people like an ex.

 

[FadingShadows]

I want to get out to get out, but the idea of revenge as a bonus perk has started to really appeal to me over the past few years.

You know the line, "The best revenge is living well"? That only applies if the people you want vengeance against want you to be miserable or dead. If they want you to be happy and alive, and their attempts to force you to be happy and alive are part of the reason you want out... Yep.

 

[sserafim]

I want to get out to get out, but the idea of revenge as a bonus perk has started to really appeal to me over the past few years.

You know the line, "The best revenge is living well"? That only applies if the people you want vengeance against want you to be miserable or dead. If they want you to be happy and alive, and their attempts to force you to be happy and alive are part of the reason you want out... Yep.

Society wants me alive at any cost, it doesn't even care if I'm miserable or not, it just wants to force me to keep living. I'll make sure to take my revenge by ctb

 

[Forever Sleep]

In a documentary about bridge jumpers, one of the psychatrists claimed that all suicidal people were angry underneath. I think that can be true. I think suicide is certainly an act of defiance. Even if it's defiance at biology or life itself. I think a lot of us are angry about something. I guess the act of suicide is a way of trying to shame the people or systems we felt damaged our lives.

In terms of me personally- I initially became suicidal because of someone I suspect to be a narcissist. Had I done it back then- I likely would have blamed them in a note. Now though- I guess a part of me sees that it could be a statement against this capitalist world. I simply don't want to live like this.

Of course- if it's individuals you seek to name and shame though- I think you have to consider what kind of people they are. I'd suggest that- if they are that shitty, they may not even be capable of feeling blame, guilt or remorse.

 

[fishlover]

the only way you can get revenge this way is if anyone even cared about you in the first place. what a privilege.

 

[drearybreadd]

I have suddenly had the major urge to CTB for many reasons, but one big one is to get revenge towards everyone who did wrong by me so that they can feel some sort of guilt and have to live with the fact that they are the ones who potentially pushed me over the edge to do it… does anyone else feel this way? Just curious…

If they did wrong by you on purpose wouldn't they be content with your death? I'm not sure what the point of revenge would be if you are then dead.

 

[drunknewton]

I have suddenly had the major urge to CTB for many reasons, but one big one is to get revenge towards everyone who did wrong by me so that they can feel some sort of guilt and have to live with the fact that they are the ones who potentially pushed me over the edge to do it… does anyone else feel this way? Just curious…

A lil kinda, towards my ex, she was the reason my life is fucked rn, i guess ill fuck her up if i went ctb, but idk i still have feelings for her, so i guess that's the reason i also see it as a revenge, kinda showing her "This Is What You Get For Fucking Up Someone's Life"

 

[Notwinnernotawin]

Yes. I kinda want to make my mom suffer.

 

[Hunter2005]

Nope I don't want to do it for revenge, I just want to escape I hate this fucking shit.

 

[marigold]

this is my biggest fantasy but i am way too sensitive about other's feelings to do it. i know all i want deep down is just for someone to see my pain and anger. i don't genuinely want to scar anybody for life. still, i daydream about it intensely.

i've been crying my eyes out all night- it's 6 am. i keep cycling between being so angry and frustrated and being soft. i have been so sensitive and forgiving since i was a little kid. i wish i could lash out in a big way that would show everybody how i've felt all along.

 

[mortuarymary]

no but I've seen a d known it be used. When a parent kill's themselves and their kids, leaving the other parent in total hell.