Does anyone else kinda wish...

[Cessation]

...that there'd be some kind of emergency or tragedy or attack or something so that you could be perceived as having died heroically or nobly? I'm talking like saving kids from a burning building only to get "caught" in the blaze before you could "escape", or stopping a lunatic gunman or a would-be rapist or some such thing. Or standing up to a corrupt-as-hell politician and getting assassinated by the machine it (the politician) serves. Only in my mind in each scenario I'd be the only casualty. I think I could actually die happy knowing I did something right that actually mattered without anyone else being terribly adversely affected.

That probably sounds totally lame or pathetic, but in recent years it's become painfully evident that I have nothing to live for, much less look forward to, so it's become only too easy for me to imagine things that I'd be eager to die for. You know, short of just dying in and of itself.

Just want to know if anyone else thinks this way, or am I just insane at this point?

 

[Ash’Girl]

I think it's perfectly normal, or at least normal for those of us who are suicidal, to fantasise about scenarios where we die but our death is largely taken out of our hands. It's kinda like the suicide by cop "method", forcing a situation that doesn't require such direct action as most of the methods available to us but still likely to cause death. And going out saving someone else - well, that's not a bad way to go either.

I felt really guilty about this, but when the Russian/Ukraine war started and more news popped up about Putin unravelling more and threatening the west, I actually had thoughts where I hoped he'd just initiate nuclear war - he threatened it enough. I hoped he'd just point his nukes at my country and I would just die instantly. Then I felt guilty because of all the other people who'd die as a result, the people who want to live. And those who survived, living in a destroyed, post apocalyptic type world.

Knowing my luck I'd be one the damn survivors.

I don't think you're insane at all.

 

[caninecomposer]

Other people's opinions and respect don't matter to me, especially considering that all of human history will be destroyed eventually. Nothing we do actually matters on a universal scale.

 

[10000DaysTooMany]

It takes all the effort and guilt out of going though with suicide. I think everyone on this form thinks about somthing like this from time to time.

 

[certified_idiot]

I'd like to die that way. People won't blame themselves for my death because there was nothing they could do. I could leave a positive impact on my way out. If I have to be remembered, then I'd rather be remembered as someone who fell due to tragic circumstances out of their control than a freak who killed themself.

 

[AInilam]

Just wait 10-30 more years. Maybe even much sooner than that.