Discussion Does anyone else kinda feel glad they might ctb?

[Justcheckingout]

This is a strange thought kinda but is anyone else kind of happy that they will eventually ctb? With the world the way it is right now and it only guarenteed to get worse pretty rapidly I find myself more and more at peace with my desire to ctb. Like I'm checking out of a hotel right before it's scheduled for demolition. I don't have much I own in this world, my pets are all very elderly and I'm not really looking forward to anything the future will bring. It's like a solid kind of weightless feeling, like saying goodbye to the earth as an old friend.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I understand how you feel. It gives me peace of mind knowing that I have ctb as a last resort or as a safety net to catch me if I fall. It's a ticket out of this hell hole.

 

[Lordsudbury]

It makes me excited to think about it and do the research about it. The more I learn, the easier I come to accepting it and not fearing it.

 

[_Kaira_]

Nothing else is under my control, so yes. Now every day seems to be trying to push me to make that decision to CTB, and every day I get less and less afraid.

 

[lonelymountaingirl]

I understand how you feel. It gives me peace of mind knowing that I have ctb as a last resort or as a safety net to catch me if I fall.

This is 100% my thinking—that if something absolutely horrific and irreversible happens, I can still ctb and, haha, I have outsmarted the situation.

All sorts of messed-up and unhealthy logic with this to be sure—but I've held this sort of thought for a very long time.

 

[Leshen]

Well, I guess we're "lucky" in a way... desperately clinging to life often causes a lot of suffering. There are worse ways to die, society should stop demonizing suicide.

 

[DocNo]

to some point it was like to have now some control to escape more suffering which would break even the last pieces of me.
this gave me some kind of peace and lowered some inner pressure that i put on myself.

but the closer i came the stronger the fearfull knot in my stomach became.
seems part of me isn't ready yet.

 

[FatalSystemError591]

Yeah, the more I think about it day after day, I'm happy to stop being a burden and dead weight to those around me. Got my method, got my place.. just need another push over the edge and I'm gone.

 

[W’ren]

I feel better knowing i'm going to ctb. When i decided that is what i'm going to do, i felt a huge burden lift off my shoulders, and it was like i was lighter on my feet... i was almost (dare i say it...) happy...
My pet is elderly too, and even if i ctb before he passes, i've recently secured a home for him under the premise of being worried about something going wrong during an upcoming surgery-
So i feel like i've taken care of what needs taking care of- so i can feel that whole relief. I just have one other thing to do- but i feel better being in control and having something *to* do to move forward.

 

[Time to fly]

Once you have your CTB it is just choosing the day... basically get busy living or get busy dying...I'm ready tickets booked for today and ready to go without drawing any attention to those close to me...they will see it as a "normal" day for me

 

[Womps]

Somedays in my depths and in contemplation I will feel absolutely elated at the though of ctb. I think when i actually to ctb i will be so content with it i will leave with a smile on my face. Thats my goal anyways. who wants to leave in pain and fear, or at the hands of impulse?

 

[Time to fly]

Somedays in my depths and in contemplation I will feel absolutely elated at the though of ctb. I think when i actually to ctb i will be so content with it i will leave with a smile on my face. Thats my goal anyways. who wants to leave in pain and fear, or at the hands of impulse?

Today has been the best day for me for years, am going to CTB and totally at peace with the decision

 

[Womps]

Today has been the best day for me for years, am going to CTB and totally at peace with the decision

If you would like someone to talk to in the meanwhile i will be here for you always, I wish you a smooth transition into the unknown my friend. Please take care

 

[Time to fly]

If you would like someone to talk to in the meanwhile i will be here for you always, I wish you a smooth transition into the unknown my friend. Please take care

Thanks for the offer but totally ready for this and so looking forward to that final jump

 

[Womps]

Thanks for the offer but totally ready for this and so looking forward to that final jump

Godspeed

 

[Time to fly]

Godspeed

I thank you wish you the same for your special day

 

[Amumu]

Paradoxically I think my urge to ctb would be less present if I had a bottle of N near me.
"Sleep well bottle of N, I love you" "Sleep well Amumu, I love you too".
I am lonely.

 

[I screwed up]

Yes the thought is very calming
But when it comes to a method I am screwed... Don't have the guts to hang myself... Wish I had N .. Unfortunately in my country its almost impossible to get ur hands on N unless u r a vet. also getting SN is a big ordeal as most dealers are not legit ... Am in a bad bad state

 

[sadworld]

Yeah, it's nice knowing that you can go whenever you want.

 

[NeverGrowUp]

Paradoxically I think my urge to ctb would be less present if I had a bottle of N near me.
"Sleep well bottle of N, I love you" "Sleep well Amumu, I love you too".
I am lonely.

Feel the same, just having such an exit would ironically be a motivator for me to live. I feel trapped without it. I make so many posts about Belgian assisted suicides (I'm a little obsessed with the concept), and a young girl essentially said the same thing that she took so much comfort knowing she was allowed a way out at the time of her choosing.

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

i'm ecstatic and there ain't no might about it

 

[flagmaster]

It gives you a sense of power in a world that makes us feel powerless.

There's a way to cut ties with everything we've ever known, forever.

A nothingness our consciousness has never experienced.

What we feel now, what we've experienced and who we think we are will all cease to be. Our time will be done. There is nothing else.

What we do not know, will never be learned. What we know, matters not. Game, set and match.

One decision to end ALL decisions. To end everything. Existence is fragile.

 

[Disappointered]

It makes me feel less depressed to hear from people who are suicidal and know that many will actually succeed in putting an end to their misery. Knowing I also have that option helps me get through the day.

 

[iftheworldwasending]

i thought about it while driving today and for some reason it gave me immense joy and peace. strange, but comforting i suppose.

 

[Weary Soul]

This is a strange thought kinda but is anyone else kind of happy that they will eventually ctb? With the world the way it is right now and it only guarenteed to get worse pretty rapidly I find myself more and more at peace with my desire to ctb. Like I'm checking out of a hotel right before it's scheduled for demolition. I don't have much I own in this world, my pets are all very elderly and I'm not really looking forward to anything the future will bring. It's like a solid kind of weightless feeling, like saying goodbye to the earth as an old friend.

Yes.

I knew at the age of 7 that I did not want to grow any older (didn't know the word suicide then - no internet!). Almost half a century later, I realize my 7-year-old self was far more wise than my older self until now. :)

 

[DrWh033]

This is a strange thought kinda but is anyone else kind of happy that they will eventually ctb? With the world the way it is right now and it only guarenteed to get worse pretty rapidly I find myself more and more at peace with my desire to ctb. Like I'm checking out of a hotel right before it's scheduled for demolition. I don't have much I own in this world, my pets are all very elderly and I'm not really looking forward to anything the future will bring. It's like a solid kind of weightless feeling, like saying goodbye to the earth as an old friend.

The world is fine and will only get better. We should consider ourselves lucky that we were born in this age and not 100 or 500 years ago. This pointless whining about how the world is heading towards destruction only shows how uninformed people are about basic history.
I am not glad I have to leave. I would have loved to be healthy to see how the world is going to evolve ( space exploration, maybe contact with aliens, diseases eliminated, new experiences, virtual reality games, technology achievements ) but I am not, thus I am not enjoying life.
The world is fine. Has never been better. It is not the worlds fault if some of us are unlucky or made bad decisions.

 

[demuic]

The world is fine and will only get better. We should consider ourselves lucky that we were born in this age and not 100 or 500 years ago. This pointless whining about how the world is heading towards destruction only shows how uninformed people are about basic history.
I am not glad I have to leave. I would have loved to be healthy to see how the world is going to evolve ( space exploration, maybe contact with aliens, diseases eliminated, new experiences, virtual reality games, technology achievements ) but I am not, thus I am not enjoying life.
The world is fine. Has never been better. It is not the worlds fault if some of us are unlucky or made bad decisions.

It is understandable that someone would not want to live in a world that is riddled with so many problems just because it happens to be better than some previous time which they have never lived through. It may have been "worse" in the past, that doesn't matter because for a lot of people their suffering is still happening regardless of what modern conveniences exist, the modern conveniences which only seem to make people more callous and disconnected from each other.

The world is pretty objectively not fine, for a lot of people.

Maybe you should consider yourself unlucky that you were not born 100 or 500 years in the future when it could be possible most physical diseases have been cured.

"Pointless whining" on a suicide forum. Really?

 

[LastFlowers]

I'm not glad. I wanted a life and I wanted to live it in my own way (as should be everyone's right), but the choice to do so was stripped from me. My dreams are dead. I have instead been given a permanent state of suffering, which increases with the passage of time.
Suicide will simply end my suffering. I am somewhat "glad"I now have a possible way to do this but it does not lift any burden from my back, it does not make me feel any less tortured...only closer to said torture coming to a stop.
Obviously having a way to cease this nightmare is better than not having one, but nothing is a guarantee and the process and preparation for an unnatural death is still exhausting. That said, I think if I had what I needed to live properly and actualize myself, I would still find many faults in what we call life, there would still be people out there like me, as I am now, suffering. Being offered my own happiness would not change that for them and I believe I would know this and I would still scorn the existence of consciousness in some respect, of this awfully unfair place.

 

[DrWh033]

It is understandable that someone would not want to live in a world that is riddled with so many problems just because it happens to be better than some previous time which they have never lived through. It may have been "worse" in the past, that doesn't matter because for a lot of people their suffering is still happening regardless of what modern conveniences exist, the modern conveniences which only seem to make people more callous and disconnected from each other.

The world is pretty objectively not fine, for a lot of people.

Maybe you should consider yourself unlucky that you were not born 100 or 500 years in the future when it could be possible most physical diseases have been cured.

It is understandable to consider existence itself unbearable or depressing . But glorifying the past and demonizing the present is stupid and completely unfounded. The mere existence of this forum would have been considered fantasy 50 years ago. Some people here that suffer from mental disorders would have been ridiculed, ostracised, burned, tortured, subjected to barbaric treatments etc a few centuries back.
Of course I am unlucky that I am born now instead of 500 years in the future. It is, what it is, though.
And yes really. Pointless whining. It is one thing supporting someone that is suffering because of x,y reason and another thing mindlessly embracing every single argument here regardless of validity because this is a "suicide" forum.
How would you react to someone saying " I want to ctb, I am suffering because this netflix series got canceled " ? With love and understanding ? After all you don't know how much he-she is suffering . There is a limit to everything. It is called reason.