Does anyone else keep trying to escape responsibility ?

[Painless_end]

Does anyone else keep trying to escape having to do a job or learn something new

I have been trying to avoid everything since I realized I am not cut out for "normal" adult life

It hurts because I don't grow anymore or make any progress

 

[Nolan96]

I'm in a pathetic dead-end job and keep figuring I'll have to think more seriously about what to do next when my mental health recovers a bit, but I don't know if it'll happen. In my early 20's I kept thinking I could afford the time to do that, but at 25 turning things around isn't looking like it'll get any easier.

At my worst the idea of getting a job was pretty intimidating to me but I ripped the band-aid off and I'm glad I did. It's not a great job but I'm happy I conquered that fear. I do recommend trying to do something that will help with personal development and accomplishment, even if it's not typical work or education. Volunteer work, something artistic, something in the religious community, hobby communities even. It doesn't feel good to completely stagnate.

 

[WadeingThru]

Does anyone else keep trying to escape having to do a job or learn something new

I have been trying to avoid everything since I realized I am not cut out for "normal" adult life

It hurts because I don't grow anymore or make any progress

I'm good at procrastinating. Why do today that which can be put off till tomorrow?

 

[Huntfish34]

I've been like that for quite awhile now,. Especially with the job I've been at for 8yrs. There are certain tasks/ jobs I know I should ( need ) to learn, try and pick up on but I don't. Idk if it's a fear of the unknown, not wanting to change, complacency, being lazy.. idk? Maybe all of the above?

I'd imagine that I should embrace change and just dive in but I haven't for the " most " part. Although within the past few months I have tried and learned a couple Small things,. Just not to the full scale.

Maybe my bosses should lean on me harder but it's Because of those dickhead pieces of Shit that I have Absolutely Lost most of my drive and motivation to do so. They can be sooo negative and rude to us as employees that I really don't give a Flying Fuck anymore.

I have made baby steps though... So I'm trying my best to remember what I've been told in my AA meetings so many times;. Progress Not Perfection! Just really hard for me lately.

Sorry for my rambling and if it doesn't make any sense. I'm tired, drunk, and stoned as all get out. Should probably think about getting some sleep so I can actually get to work . 5am is approaching quickly for me,. Fck.

 

[timf]

You might not have to cut out all responsibility or learning. You may want to leave yourself the option of having a little. You may even come to take on more over time.

 

[Painless_end]

I just want to die. I am not comfortable with what I am : someone who constantly avoids adult responsibilities because the world is harsh and more importantly I have a bigger problem.

I have never had a concrete goal in my life that I planned around and achieved. I usually took on the most basic default options in education and career and tried to tolerate the pain while getting through those.

Since my mind does not derive pleasure from the vision and planning and achievement of a larger goal that would take years, it makes me sorely lacking in growth and I have to tolerate every single day and every single thing that I don't like with frustration and deep unhappiness.

I have never ever been deeply interested in anything in my life. I have been seeking an escape since I hit puberty and had to "grow up". Then, that escape took the form of video games and masturbation. But I am over those things since many years and now I resort to having to sit completely still in sadness.

It's not just my conscious choice, I also have mental inability that prevents me from being able to handle complicated responsibilities even if I voluntarily take them on.

So you can understand that although I have the general understanding that I need to keep moving, I have no motivation left to move anywhere.

There is nothing in my life worth living for, but I cannot just kill myself due to fear of pain and lack of access to painless methods.

 

[magicalsarcoma]

I don't want to take responsibility for anything in this life because I've made too many mistakes before. However, i have a lot of things to do..... which i will probably fail soon, and then I'll try to justify this by saying that i didn't want anything initially. Although it's mostly true because my dreams are impossible and in general have little to do with reality. I've always had only dreams, not goals

 

[Water-Lily]

Yeah. This was me for a period of my life.

Due to severe abuse and trauma from not only home but school continuesly throughout my life, I grew scared of the world. In many ways I still am

However it's never too late to want to face things now. It's important to have self compassion. Especially if you've been abused/traumatized, life can be very scary. You are not alone in this and I am sure many can relate

I don't want to take responsibility for anything in this life because I've made too many mistakes before. However, i have a lot of things to do..... which i will probably fail soon, and then I'll try to justify this by saying that i didn't want anything initially. Although it's mostly true because my dreams are impossible and in general have little to do with reality. I've always had only dreams, not goals

Maybe making things into small term goals can make things less intimidating

Also we all make mistakes. In my most broken moments I have said and done things to people out of pain I regret. Imo, unless you've done something egregious like rape or murder, you can still thrive with your mistakes. We learn from failure

I've been like that for quite awhile now,. Especially with the job I've been at for 8yrs. There are certain tasks/ jobs I know I should ( need ) to learn, try and pick up on but I don't. Idk if it's a fear of the unknown, not wanting to change, complacency, being lazy.. idk? Maybe all of the above?

I'd imagine that I should embrace change and just dive in but I haven't for the " most " part. Although within the past few months I have tried and learned a couple Small things,. Just not to the full scale.

Maybe my bosses should lean on me harder but it's Because of those dickhead pieces of Shit that I have Absolutely Lost most of my drive and motivation to do so. They can be sooo negative and rude to us as employees that I really don't give a Flying Fuck anymore.

I have made baby steps though... So I'm trying my best to remember what I've been told in my AA meetings so many times;. Progress Not Perfection! Just really hard for me lately.

Sorry for my rambling and if it doesn't make any sense. I'm tired, drunk, and stoned as all get out. Should probably think about getting some sleep so I can actually get to work . 5am is approaching quickly for me,. Fck.

Progress is not perfection. I love this!

 

[Huntfish34]

Thanks,. I Love it too ! I just have to get out of my sick mind to realize it and move forward. Just Very hard for me to do.. =\.

 

[Water-Lily]

Thanks,. I Love it too ! I just have to get out of my sick mind to realize it and move forward. Just Very hard for me to do.. =\.

Be kind to yourself. Dealing with suicidality is hard enough. Combined with our own issues, it's ok to struggle and have the bad days. We're not alone and it'll be ok. You're doing enough being here posting and contributing about your experiences

 

[Huntfish34]

Thanks very much,. I certainly agree and appreciate your kind words. It's all just sooo.... Much easier said than done.

Thoughts and prayers to you always -

 

[Water-Lily]

Thanks very much,. I certainly agree and appreciate your kind words. It's all just sooo.... Much easier said than done.

Thoughts and prayers to you always -

It is. We can say many things but it doesn't beat experience

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Does anyone else keep trying to escape having to do a job or learn something new

I have been trying to avoid everything since I realized I am not cut out for "normal" adult life

It hurts because I don't grow anymore or make any progress

I hate to be an adult. So much bullshit to deal with constantly. I wish I could be a child again, but I had a horrible childhood.

 

[Water-Lily]

I hate to be an adult. So much bullshit to deal with constantly. I wish I could be a child again, but I had a horrible childhood.

I wish I could be a child in a happy family. It's sad when you can't say "I want to be a kid again" when abuse happened and hurt you as a kid :/

 

[przeciwwymiotne]

Does anyone else keep trying to escape having to do a job or learn something new

I have been trying to avoid everything since I realized I am not cut out for "normal" adult life

It hurts because I don't grow anymore or make any progress

Yee, but I've also realized this avoidance stems from lack of experience and the more I'll expose myself to "normal" adult life the better I'll get. But having said that, I still have this avoidance mindset ingrained in my brain. I feel at peace only when I'm neglecting adult stuff I should be doing. Avoidance is easy and comfy. I wanna avoid life. But I don't ykwim?

 

[Area Man]

I've won gold at the olympic sport of avoiding responsibility ever since I graduated pretty much. I just wasn't in the headspace for getting a job or holding one down and evenually when I did I botched it bad. It's complicated and I was dealing with problems I didn't have full control over but my cope was to avoid the world basically and get lost on the internet and develop a screen addiction. Now I'm in a situation which actually disincentivises me attempting to improve my life so I just mill about less motivated than ever before.