Discussion Does anyone else just wish someone would tell them that their CTB method will work 100% and that everything will go well?

[Ta555]

I have a few plans, my main one being full suspension (aided by either SN or an exit bag to lose consciousness). I go through periods where I feel confident in the plan/s and quite peaceful to periods of complete doubt and stress where I just think how everything will go wrong with terrible consequences and there's no way it would work out.
I wish I could just have someone tell me it will all go according to plan. Idk why but it helps calm me down hearing a reassurance from someone else.
We're all so careful on this site and discuss things that can go wrong a lot and it really puts a lot of doubt in my head. Which I guess is not at all a bad thing as this shouldn't be done lightly! However, I wish I had an assured method as backup to know I could definitely exit this world if it came to that. I don't even mean exit peacefully, just definitely exit. It would give me so much peace of mind

P.s. No way to get N or firearms here so that's out of the question unfortunately.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, I wish I had a guaranteed way out. It is one of my fears, failing the method and getting permanent damage. In this life there is no limit as to how much we can suffer. We all deserve a reliable, peaceful exit at a time of our own choosing. It is cruel how the society denies us this. I hope you find peace.

 

[SadVegan]

I can totally understand how you feel about these situations, its always hard to be looking for ideal ways to cbt and notice that there will always be a little chance of failure, its frustrating the only thing we can do is to make sure that we're following the exact same procedure as indicated, obviously according to our weight, age, financial affordability etc.
It always hits me hard when i give a deep thought about the ways we have to resort in order to get a peaceful death, it should be a universal right for everyone, noone has the right to tell you how to live (unless the lifestyle harms other's rights, such as threatening the most important thing that is life itself) or when you are allowed to die. Whatever happens i wish you the best.

 

[Smart No More]

God yes. I would be so content if somebody could tell me I would have 100 percent success. I can't imagine anything being worse than the way I am now. Well, no that's a lie, I can and its failing ctb and the subsequent hell. Second to that would be not having the ability/option to ctb and living on as I currently am.

I think with full suspension there is no doubt it will work as long as you can't be found and saved. I don't think it's a very nice way to ctb though. There aren't many actual peaceful methods imho. Think I'd prefer to risk heroin overdose over hanging. They have very similar risks tbf.

 

[lotus11]

Hell yes. Of course we do.

 

[kingkong57]

artery is the most sure method. scalpel. warm bath. bentos - whatever your vice is. JUST MAKE SURE YOU HIT THE ARTERY.

I'm speaking from a very recent attempt, the depth just wasn't deep enough... Soon ctb will reach my stop

 

[Ta555]

Thanks everyone for your replies! Glad I'm not alone. I keep thinking, at the end of the day if I'm really desperate I'll just a rent a kayak, paddle out somewhere, swallow a bunch of pills (or SN if I have it) and then let myself slip into the water with weights attached and be done with it. I live in a place surrounded by ocean, though to get a bit more privacy I'd have to drive like an hour.

I'd prefer to be at home to do it but like I said, I keep freaking out the rope will break or come loose or something even though I got a climbing rope and a beam in the garage (it's kind a big wide beam though which is hard to tie a hitch knot around but not impossible).
I just want to be sure so badly.

 

[xcaramel]

artery is the most sure method. scalpel. warm bath. bentos - whatever your vice is. JUST MAKE SURE YOU HIT THE ARTERY.

I'm speaking from a very recent attempt, the depth just wasn't deep enough... Soon ctb will reach my stop

It takes a lot to be able to cut yourself deeply enough in order to kill yourself. I heard the survivability is actually pretty high too, along with being agonizingly painful. i Would be careful with this method. You don't want to fail and end up mutilated with a constant reminder upon your wrists of that time.
Ta555 I am also trying the exit bag but without extra rope or anything. i am confident in the inert gas method for my painless death, but finding the right mask and setup is making me feel somewhat anxious… what is your inert gas setup looking like? I bought the regulator and mask from escmode.

 

[Ta555]

It takes a lot to be able to cut yourself deeply enough in order to kill yourself. I heard the survivability is actually pretty high too, along with being agonizingly painful. i Would be careful with this method. You don't want to fail and end up mutilated with a constant reminder upon your wrists of that time.
Ta555 I am also trying the exit bag but without extra rope or anything. i am confident in the inert gas method for my painless death, but finding the right mask and setup is making me feel somewhat anxious… what is your inert gas setup looking like? I bought the regulator and mask from [removed due to sourcing].

I have a nitrogen tank and I have the [removed due to sourcing] regulator but I haven't connected them yet. In fact I'm a bit scared to since there have been more than one person here saying the [removed due to sourcing] products didn't work or worse, that they are dangerous to use. I can't get a nitrogen flow meter here in this country which is super annoying. I have a nitrogen regulator without a flow meter which I bought from a local supplier so I might just use that and not bother measuring lpm because I'm going for the rope anyway.
I've also ordered SN from the same guy which is IC but it's been almost a month and it hasn't arrived. Though the tracking details say it's estimates to arrive in a week so we'll see.

 

[Arot]

Yes, I wish this was as easy as "just press this button and you'll be gone in a couple of minutes, 100% guaranteed".
Not even SN or H is 100% because you need to factor the human "error". You could just take more of what you need to drink or do something wrong and not only survive but also get some kind of side effects. I don't want to scare you or anything like that, I'm just trying to be real.
If anyone of you wants to CTB then I hope that you will do that as quickly and as painless as possible.

 

[yellowjasmine88]

Yes, I really wish there were a guarantee of success or even failure, I wish I could be certain whether I'd succeed or not. It scares me also in how many ways things can go wrong so again, I wish I could know beforehand how to actually for certain succeed.

 

[Ta555]

Yes, I wish this was as easy as "just press this button and you'll be gone in a couple of minutes, 100% guaranteed".
Not even SN or H is 100% because you need to factor the human "error". You could just take more of what you need to drink or do something wrong and not only survive but also get some kind of side effects. I don't want to scare you or anything like that, I'm just trying to be real.
If anyone of you wants to CTB then I hope that you will do that as quickly and as painless as possible.

What's H?

 

[GentleJerk]

Thanks everyone for your replies! Glad I'm not alone. I keep thinking, at the end of the day if I'm really desperate I'll just a rent a kayak, paddle out somewhere, swallow a bunch of pills (or SN if I have it) and then let myself slip into the water with weights attached and be done with it. I live in a place surrounded by ocean, though to get a bit more privacy I'd have to drive like an hour.

I'd prefer to be at home to do it but like I said, I keep freaking out the rope will break or come loose or something even though I got a climbing rope and a beam in the garage (it's kind a big wide beam though which is hard to tie a hitch knot around but not impossible).
I just want to be sure so badly.

I have a nitrogen tank and I have the [removed due to sourcing] regulator but I haven't connected them yet. In fact I'm a bit scared to since there have been more than one person here saying the [removed due to sourcing] products didn't work or worse, that they are dangerous to use. I can't get a nitrogen flow meter here in this country which is super annoying. I have a nitrogen regulator without a flow meter which I bought from a local supplier so I might just use that and not bother measuring lpm because I'm going for the rope anyway.
I've also ordered SN from the same guy which is IC but it's been almost a month and it hasn't arrived. Though the tracking details say it's estimates to arrive in a week so we'll see.

It sounds like you are very meticulous, with a lot of energy to plan and a lot of thought put into things. You have the sort of mind that seeks to cover all bases, and figure out all the flaws. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about.

People cast doubt for different reasons, certainly there is some fear mongering. But a lot of people just genuinely want a method to be as successful as possible and work out how to minimize the chances of anything going wrong. This leads to a lot of focus on failed attempts and uncertainties.

 

[Ta555]

It sounds like you are very meticulous, with a lot of energy to plan and a lot of thought put into things. You have the sort of mind that seeks to cover all bases, and figure out all the flaws. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about.

People cast doubt for different reasons, certainly there is some fear mongering. But a lot of people just genuinely want a method to be as successful as possible and work out how to minimize the chances of anything going wrong. This leads to a lot of focus on failed attempts and uncertainties.

This is true. In the end I'm most likely just going to full suspension if it comes to that, which I hope it won't.

 

[Amlg]

artery is the most sure method. scalpel. warm bath. bentos - whatever your vice is. JUST MAKE SURE YOU HIT THE ARTERY.

I'm speaking from a very recent attempt, the depth just wasn't deep enough... Soon ctb will reach my stop

I'm squeamish and just the thought of that is horrible to me, i think I'm more of a benzo/barb/opioid kind of guy.
I have thought about walking off a tall building, but again...too much of a coward for that method too.

Yes, I wish I had a guaranteed way out. It is one of my fears, failing the method and getting permanent damage. In this life there is no limit as to how much we can suffer. We all deserve a reliable, peaceful exit at a time of our own choosing. It is cruel how the society denies us this. I hope you find peace.

I think if I had access to a gun in the UK, I possibly could muster up a few seconds of courage to say "fuck it" in an inebriated state.

 

[misthios2040]

Thanks everyone for your replies! Glad I'm not alone. I keep thinking, at the end of the day if I'm really desperate I'll just a rent a kayak, paddle out somewhere, swallow a bunch of pills (or SN if I have it) and then let myself slip into the water with weights attached and be done with it. I live in a place surrounded by ocean, though to get a bit more privacy I'd have to drive like an hour.

I'd prefer to be at home to do it but like I said, I keep freaking out the rope will break or come loose or something even though I got a climbing rope and a beam in the garage (it's kind a big wide beam though which is hard to tie a hitch knot around but not impossible).
I just want to be sure so badly.

Constrictor knot is your best bet. It's always been a reliable knot for camping. It's hard to come undone.