Does anyone else just want to ctb because being ugly?

[dying_hope]

I'm in my early 20s, gay and as socially retarded as if I were 9 years old
I spent last 8 years almost isolated without saying a word, can't pinpoint a single day that wasn't the same as the day before
When I see the reflection of my face, I lose all hope. Every drive to improve or to be social vanishes, all effort seems futile
My skull looks comically deformed and oversized, and everything else is recessed and underdeveloped

 

[Scarakel]

Yeah, kind of... I'm struggling with anorxia since I was 13 years old (for 5 years now). And every time I look in the mirror, I see a fat ugly girl. My father abused me for a long time and told me that I'm worthless and that I don't deserve to live. And when I was about 10 years old I started to believe it and tried to ctb. But as you can see I'm even too stupid to kill myself -.-
So yeah, a part of me wants to die 'cause I'm a fat, stupid failure.

PS: Sry bout my english, I'm from germany^^"

 

[Limbo]

spending too much time on lookism.net i see.

 

[Trashcan]

It's not the only reason. But it does play a role.

 

[wanttodie]

yes same as you Trashcan It's not the only reason. But it does play a role.

 

[Schopenhauer]

I'm not attractive, and it used to bother me when I was younger. Never enough to ctb, though. These days I'm much more at peace with how I look. I've been loved for what I am, at least once.

 

[optimumorange]

Yeah, kind of... I'm struggling with anorxia since I was 13 years old (for 5 years now). And every time I look in the mirror, I see a fat ugly girl. My father abused me for a long time and told me that I'm worthless and that I don't deserve to live. And when I was about 10 years old I started to believe it and tried to ctb. But as you can see I'm even too stupid to kill myself -.-
So yeah, a part of me wants to die 'cause I'm a fat, stupid failure.

PS: Sry bout my english, I'm from germany^^"

i was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa when i was 10 years old. i'm a male btw. it is very uncommon for my gender and age at the time for that like 1% of men will have anorexia. i was bullied all throughout my childhood about being overweight and my obsessions turned to losing weight and looking like my friends. i almost died back then.

 

[ctoan]

why do you think you are ugly bro?

 

[Final Escape]

Yes, mine is more because I've aged and I feel ugly now.

 

[okyeah]

I used to think I was ugly but I just look weird. I was also overweight.

 

[I’vehadenough]

Yes! I was facially disfigured and my anxiety is so bad I can barely breathe

 

[Ghab]

Yes! I was facially disfigured and my anxiety is so bad I can barely breathe

I haven't responded to the private message you sent me as I didn't know if you sent a picture of your disfigurement, and didn't want to be surprised.

 

[I’vehadenough]

I haven't responded to the private message you sent me as I didn't know if you sent a picture of your disfigurement, and didn't want to be surprised.

I won't send a picture

 

[throwaway777]

Yes! I was facially disfigured and my anxiety is so bad I can barely breathe

know it s not helpful... but i am so sorry for what happened to you ... i also have a very bad anxiety that i cant even breath ... i'd like to give you a very big hug !! <3<3<3

 

[AndyCurious]

It's not the only reason. But it does play a role.

I say the same...

 

[AndyCurious]

Yeah, kind of... I'm struggling with anorxia since I was 13 years old (for 5 years now). And every time I look in the mirror, I see a fat ugly girl. My father abused me for a long time and told me that I'm worthless and that I don't deserve to live. And when I was about 10 years old I started to believe it and tried to ctb. But as you can see I'm even too stupid to kill myself -.-
So yeah, a part of me wants to die 'cause I'm a fat, stupid failure.

PS: Sry bout my english, I'm from germany^^"

I am so sorry to hear that.. It is sad that tragic things like abuse happens.. I do not believe that you are a fat ugly and stupid failure though.. We all are beautiful inside and out <3

 

[I’vehadenough]

L

Do u get to wear a cool mask at least? That's what I would do, make or buy cool masks to cover so u can only see my eyes. If people ask I'll tell them I'm disfigured sorry, no u can't see my face asshole lol!

lol no, that would draw more attention

 

[I’vehadenough]

know it s not helpful... but i am so sorry for what happened to you ... i also have a very bad anxiety that i cant even breath ... i'd like to give you a very big hug !! <3<3<3

Thank you. Yes, it's very hard for me

 

[AndyCurious]

L

lol no, that would draw more attention

If people can't see you for you, and accept you, just leave them alone..<3

 

[ctoan]

I won't send a picture

send me a picture bro

 

[I’vehadenough]

If people can't see you for you, and accept you, just leave them alone..<3

I know, but that gets lonely. I used to be very beautiful

 

[I’vehadenough]

send me a picture bro

Only if you send one first

 

[Cromulus]

I'm in my early 20s, gay and as socially retarded as if I were 9 years old
I spent last 8 years almost isolated without saying a word, can't pinpoint a single day that wasn't the same as the day before
When I see the reflection of my face, I lose all hope. Every drive to improve or to be social vanishes, all effort seems futile
My skull looks comically deformed and oversized, and everything else is recessed and underdeveloped

Same my head is huge and my eyes are tiny and recessed and my face is fat gross and uneven. I don't even register as a human to most people.

 

[ctoan]

Only if you send one first

Spoiler

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/data/avatars/m/3/3026.jpg?1538602421

 

[AndyCurious]

I know, but that gets lonely. I used to be very beautiful

Beauty shines from within <3

 

[I’vehadenough]

Beauty shines from within <3

Yeah right

 

[AndyCurious]

Yeah right

It does.. Looks doesn't define you as a person, personality does...

 

[Virgo]

I could care less. No social relationships = I don't give a shit.

 

[I’vehadenough]

It does.. Looks doesn't define you as a person, personality does...

That's what guys tell me...until they see me, then they run

 

[AndyCurious]

That's what guys tell me...until they see me, then they run

I'm so sorry to her that.. They will never deserve your friendship, nor your love, when they can't take the time to get to know YOU <3