I thought about it a lot when I was younger. It was one of those "oh if I could only have that, then things would be okay" ideals. An excuse not to focus on anything else. A justification for my existence. If I were famous, I would know for sure that I was worth something. There's this feeling that it would prove how special I am. If people connected with my music, born from my individual human experience, then I must be something greater than your average run-of-the-mill drone who doesn't seek anything deeper from life.
It's hard to accept that even if you are special in some way, you're still in the bell curve. Being famous on merit rather than luck sounds exhausting. You can be the mostest specialyist person on earth in your mind but there are a billion other people out there who think the same and are working towards being the best: and every second you aren't putting in work they're getting ahead. In the end, I settled on being balanced.
I still want people to connect to my music (it is funny in hindsight how far I had to go to get close to being professional sounding. The difference between my stuff then and now is night and day. It's certainly not something that can just happen) but it doesn't have to be the masses. Being thought well of by people you know to be good who are close to you would ultimately be more fulfilling.
It is fun to think about though, right? I will daydream sometimes about being recognized on the street and having a good reputation.
