Venting Does anyone else have constant noise in their head?

[Jadotine]

I don't know if the title is clear but I feel like whenever I mention this irl people look at me like there's something seriously wrong with me.

Like there's always so many voices inside my head at all times... Imagine overthinking but worse. And I mean its not always suicidal thoughts or things like that, it actually feels like there's many people commentating on what I am doing at all times. Its so fucking exhausting

If you left me alone in a room for hours, I could probably make a full conversation with myself and actually get myself angry, sad, talk philosophy or even crack jokes on my own
Strangers look at me weird because I just randomly burst out laughing in the street (the joke in my head was just too funny, ok ? )

It isnt so bad most of the time, but damn sometimes I just want some peace... like let me sleep please?
I feel like I am going crazy. I know I don't have DID and I know I dont have multiple personalities. But why are there always so many damn voices all the time
When I talk with people I have to deal with these voices and filter 80% of the noise before words come out of my mouth... but I randomly smirk or frown at times and because of that and people label as a weirdo or a creep. But people don't know that I am already juggling with other conversations in my head!!

Even my feelings are conflicted, I hate it and yet it brings a sense of comfort too... I never take a stance on anything in life because I am debating with myself 24/7
The only thing we've ever agreed upon was to CTB asap...
I don't even know if my rambling even makes sense. I dunno, can anyone please tell me im not the only one that experiences this kind of stuff??

 

[heatnormal]

when you hear these thoughts, do you feel like there is someone else besides you; does it catch you off guard? do they have distinct tones of voice? from what i'm reading, you might have a loud inner monologue. i'm not familiar with your mental health history, but from what i understand, this has been going on for quite a while. i can only suggest grounding yourself when it becomes overwhelming (touching textures, mindful breathing). you have probably been carrying a lot of chronic stress, so your brain may be in a constant state of hypervigilance.

 

[saturn09_]

It sounds like something that happened to me when I was a child. I even used to think there were like five people inside my head, because our opinions were so different, I thought there was no way it was all me.

Over time it went away, and then there was this constant noise, like having fifty tvs on all the time, each one on a different channel.
It was unbearable, I couldn't even think or focus. It stopped when I was diagnosed as Bipolar and started taking a mood stabilizer.
I guess that kind of saved me, because I was planning to ctb that year, but it made such a huge difference that it allowed me to focus on something else than escaping.

 

[Deepdense]

Yeah. I just accepted it. I probably should care but I don't.

 

[Jadotine]

when you hear these thoughts, do you feel like there is someone else besides you; does it catch you off guard? do they have distinct tones of voice? from what i'm reading, you might have a loud inner monologue. i'm not familiar with your mental health history, but from what i understand, this has been going on for quite a while. i can only suggest grounding yourself when it becomes overwhelming (touching textures, mindful breathing). you have probably been carrying a lot of chronic stress, so your brain may be in a constant state of hypervigilance.

Sometimes when I am particularly agitated or stressed I will actually feel like someone or someone is there? I know its not real but in these moments its really comforting as I usually always deal with mental issues on my own. At least they don't have distinct voices? Just a lot of internal screaming from time to time

I may be that its just a loud inner monologue, but I always end up arguing with myself and get genuinely upset sometimes so I was wondering... I know it most probably comes from years of isolation and detaching myself from situations to avoid pain or the like though

But I don't know what I can do even if I know this is the case... I have tried meditation and it just gets louder and I end up having panic attacks instead

It sounds like something that happened to me when I was a child. I even used to think there were like five people inside my head, because our opinions were so different, I thought there was no way it was all me.

Over time it went away, and then there was this constant noise, like having fifty tvs on all the time, each one on a different channel.
It was unbearable, I couldn't even think or focus. It stopped when I was diagnosed as Bipolar and started taking a mood stabilizer.
I guess that kind of saved me, because I was planning to ctb that year, but it made such a huge difference that it allowed me to focus on something else than escaping.

I have been prescribed mood stabilisers in the past but I reacted badly to them :/
Anxiolytics and antipsychotics had helped with it but it also kinda amplified suicidal thoughts so they stopped prescribing them (and it couldn't be taken long term anyways)
But yeah it feels exactly like that! Its only gotten worse for me unfortunately
Thats one of the main reason I want to CTB too-

Yeah. I just accepted it. I probably should care but I don't

thank you for sharing! Its actually awful to hear that someone might go thorugh the same thing now that I think about it... but I don't know if someone had advice that I already hadn't tried, and I wanted to be sure that I wasn't the only 'crazy' one