Discussion Does Anyone Else Hate Their Body and Appearance ?

[Hunterer]

I hate my appearance, my body, everything. I can hardly see beauty in myself, and I feel angry about the fact that we live in a world where people exalt beauty and an aesthetic body. Unfortunately, I was cursed with this body and this appearance. I have even been bullied because of it.

I wish I could find a partner, I already talked about it in a post here on the forum, but because I was born with horrible genetics, my chances are very low, so whenever I see couples or people flaunting beauty or an aesthetic and "perfect" body, I feel an absurd desire to die. So, yes, I admit that I envy people who were "blessed" in this way. I hate myself, I feel angry, I want to die, I really want to.

 

[Gangrel]

Yes very much, even when someone says they like my body i just can't believe it, it feels literally impossible. I feel disgusted looking at it.

 

[Interestedsadboi25]

I hate the way I look too, you're not alone with those feelings.
I hate myself and don't know If I will ever be able to accept myself.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

I hate my body. It's mostly because I'm trans and this is nothing like I actually feel. But nobody's ever taught me anything about how to take care of beauty and stuff and I suck at learning shit. I can't look at myself in the mirror without feeling like shit, all I see is a criminal and a killer. I have the face of the people I see in mugshots and I feel horrible. I hate everything with all my whole heart...

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Decades long ED sufferer, one hundred fuckin percent. You are not alone.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

*Raises hand*

 

[fatladysings]

I'm very sorry to read all the posts above, it saddens me that you all feel so badly about your appearance.

I just wanted to say that you might not always feel the way you do now, and that maybe the older you get, the more you will hopefully be able to accept yourselves. I used to have bad BDD when I was in my teens, twenties and thirties but I'm 51 now and I don't have BDD any more. It started fading away in my forties. I look ok with makeup on but am very unattractive with no makeup, but one day I just stopped caring about what I looked like and it was such a relief. I have gone from being unable to go out the door without an hour's worth of makeup to sauntering happily out the door almost completely barefaced (I still use a tiny smudge of concealer on the broken veins around my nose).

I wouldn't want to re-live my teens, twenties and thirties for all the money in the world. It was a horrible time and it was horrible to care so much about my appearance.

I hope, for all of you who posted above and for anyone yet to post in a similar vein, that you just wake up one morning, like I did, and care a lot less.

 

[username12345]

I hate my appearance, my body, everything. I can hardly see beauty in myself, and I feel angry about the fact that we live in a world where people exalt beauty and an aesthetic body. Unfortunately, I was cursed with this body and this appearance. I have even been bullied because of it.

I wish I could find a partner, I already talked about it in a post here on the forum, but because I was born with horrible genetics, my chances are very low, so whenever I see couples or people flaunting beauty or an aesthetic and "perfect" body, I feel an absurd desire to die. So, yes, I admit that I envy people who were "blessed" in this way. I hate myself, I feel angry, I want to die, I really want to.

I think everyone has things they don't like about their bodies, but ultimately I don't hate it. I actually am upset because I went through so much shit to get it how it is up to now only for it to just decay/burn into ashes. Feels like everything was all for nothing and like cis people have absolutely squashed me like a bug. I don't really care if people don't like me, its when they go out of their way to bully or mess with my livelihood that is so upsetting. Like I'm that gross that you have to push me to suicide okay.

You are probably more beautiful than you give yourself credit for, and just cause some people don't value you doesn't mean you don't have any value or that no one will. Why would you want to be around people that are so shallow anyway to only care about physical beauty?

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I don't think I've ever actually liked the way I looked. I'm pretty ugly-looking, which is funny since my parents are considered to be good-looking. I feel like this issue has only been made worse due to my tendency to pick at my skin and to pull out hairs, specifically around my groin region and my legs. I have scarring there as a result. I've had times where looking at myself in the mirror or even thinking about my appearance was enough to make me want to cry and kill myself. Sometimes I'm scared about meeting my bf irlecause I feel like he may find my irl appearance to be repulsive (for reference, he knows what I look like since I sensentm photos and videos of myself and we have video called before). My body is gross, inside and out. At least the one good thing about death is knowing that my body will decompose and nobody will have to see it ever again.

 

[Blooper]

Absolutely. I'm less than flattering in appearance to say the least and feel as though I am unworthy of friendship, for instance. That compounded with my autistic mannerisms and unrelated health issues seals that fate. The only thing keeping me from being more than "bleh" about it is working like a dog 6 days/week and having little free time. Looking in the mirror, accidentally opening the camera app on my phone, or seeing my reflection in something always results in a fleeting episode of despondence, like the 5 stages of grief in 60 seconds. With that said, having acquaintances or friends barely appeals to me.

You're not alone but I would discourage you from allowing yourself to become preoccupied by it.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I hate my appearance, my body, everything. I can hardly see beauty in myself, and I feel angry about the fact that we live in a world where people exalt beauty and an aesthetic body. Unfortunately, I was cursed with this body and this appearance. I have even been bullied because of it.

I wish I could find a partner, I already talked about it in a post here on the forum, but because I was born with horrible genetics, my chances are very low, so whenever I see couples or people flaunting beauty or an aesthetic and "perfect" body, I feel an absurd desire to die. So, yes, I admit that I envy people who were "blessed" in this way. I hate myself, I feel angry, I want to die, I really want to.

I spent virtually my even teenage life in some form of athletics. Karate started at 15, added jiu jitsu at 16, my parents owned a gym so I would lift after school as well. Once I went to college I still continued to go to the gym and was essentially a body builder. I cross trained with running. It was a massive part of my life. Then in 2022 when things happened I've discussed here before just a couple weeks later I reinjured my back from an injury a couple months beforehand. I've dealt with several other injuries since hand issues (fracture vs dupuytren's contracture, back issues, torn labrum in my hip, just injuries accumulated through the years). The injuries combined with my just complete and utter destitution as a result of the crimes committed against me in march of 2022 and abandonment of everyone. My diet which was extremely regimented has had to be utter shit because I have no money and food is a luxury for me at this point. So despite loving to workout between injuries, poverty, and just my complete shitty fucking life I've watched you know my 6 pack go to a no pack, my former muscular physique fade away, and I just feel and look like shit. So yeah I do.

It's just one of the many many many things stolen from me.

 

[DefinitelyReady]

"And how!"

 

[littleinsanity]

Somedays i love my appearance, I think I look decent when I put in the effort, other days I absolutely hate it and there are things about my appearance that I will always dislike.

Recently while it has maybe like 1-5% weight to my reason to ctb, i look at myself and feel gross and question how I felt someone who looks so disgusting could be happy.
I do dislike a few things about my appearance but it's funny how my current mentality is ruining me even more

 

[Ethernatuskoi]

I hate my appearance, my body, everything. I can hardly see beauty in myself, and I feel angry about the fact that we live in a world where people exalt beauty and an aesthetic body. Unfortunately, I was cursed with this body and this appearance. I have even been bullied because of it.

I wish I could find a partner, I already talked about it in a post here on the forum, but because I was born with horrible genetics, my chances are very low, so whenever I see couples or people flaunting beauty or an aesthetic and "perfect" body, I feel an absurd desire to die. So, yes, I admit that I envy people who were "blessed" in this way. I hate myself, I feel angry, I want to die, I really want to.

Yes, I hate myself and I hate my body. I also understand the part about wanting to find a partner and being unable to, this is really frustrating for people like us.....

 

[Okokaykay]

i have a partner, though i'm deeply repulsed by myself. being seen by others feels humiliating at times and i fear walking past open windows and going into public on bad days. i used to cover mirrors because catching my reflection would send me into a terribly self critical spiral where all i'd do is pick apart my appearance until i felt genuinely crazy.
i'm covered in thick, ugly scars and have battled an ed for so long, so a lot of it is my own doing.

but it feels like so much more than something surface level and wanting to be conventionally attractive. i'm just embarrassed to be seen.

 

[Hunterer]

i fear walking past open windows and going into public on bad days. i used to cover mirrors because catching my reflection would send me into a terribly self critical spiral where all i'd do is pick apart my appearance until i felt genuinely crazy.

I understand. Whenever I go out, I feel like everyone is looking at me like I'm a "weirdo" because of the way I look. I also feel like people don't take me seriously because of that, or maybe it's because of the way I am, but I'm not sure. I just know that I don't really like going out, especially when I'm alone, and I also don't like looking in the mirror or taking pictures or recording videos. I only take pictures and recording videos on special occasions, like my last meeting with my friends from school.

People say that I could change, that I could start going to a gym, but I would feel very insecure there because of my own body, and I also don't have the money or the willpower to leave the house and go to the gym lol.

Anyway, I think I will be unhappy with my body and appearance until the last day of my life