Does anyone else find it hard to care about others?

[LossOfWill]

I know thats kinda a no brainer but I mean more like, everyone. You don't think you care about anyone but yourself, and you realize that you don't think you ever did. Its hard to figure it out. I can't truly know if I did or not but people describe feelings and emotions about others that are just completely foreign to me. I always think they're exaggerating but.. I think you're at least supposed to feel something about your friends or partners? I'm more excited about new people to impress and show off to before I get bored and look for someone else. I should really see my therapist again.

 

[Mentalmick]

I've got a schizoid pd so I come across as very cold and uncaring. Which it true when talking about men, I've never been able to care about them. Women on the other hand I care plenty. Too much possibly. I'm a bit clingy.

 

[rex_deceptorum]

I care about a few people - half of them are family members - and that's about it! I've never understood why people cared or pretended to care about how much/how little they care about others. It sounds like internalised societal pressure!

 

[Lostandlooking]

It's hard to care about people if they don't care about you. I used to care plenty, always taking into account people's feelings, treating them with respect. I don't know where I stand anymore. Most people only think about themselves. Nowadays I just expect people to be dicks. Except for a few that I trust and they do treat me with respect. I do care about them.

 

[LastFlowers]

They say suffering breeds compassion. And it does, to a point. Then it just breeds apathy.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I used to care about all my friends and family or anyone around me until five years ago when my heart broke. From that point on I haven't cared about any of them the same way. I mean if any of them died I'd be a little bummed out out of obligation but not devastated anymore. It feels like obligation to even try to care about anyone at this point. Sometimes I care a little but only when someone that everyone else thinks is evil is being attacked, then I care about them. The more hate someone deserves and receives, ironically that's the only reason I'll care because in my mind they still aren't as worthy of hate as myself. If they like died or something it still wouldn't affect me as much as the death of someone I care about should though.

I've never cared about myself at all even before then either. The only person I think I truly care about is the nonexistent soulmate out there for me that I'll never find anyway.

 

[lost_soul83]

I've got the opposite problem, I care way too much about people.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

I care about my family. I recently started caring about someone that's not a first degree relative but trying to snap out of it. None of it is super potent, maybe I'm subconsciously fabricating care from social pressure or something.

 

[Makko]

Yes. It's hard to make yourself care about things you find boring.

 

[moonchild]

It's not like I'm completely indifferent if someone I know and like tell me about something bad that's happened to them, but I feel so disconnected from everything that I can't make myself genuinely care. It feels more like a learned behaviour, like if someone says they've had a rough week or their dog died or whatever, I know the appropriate response is to empathise with that and offer some kind of support or comfort. So I do that to not seem callous, but I'll forget all about it as soon as the topic changes.

But it's also hard to tell what a "normal" amount of care is when I only have my own feelings to go on.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

You are kind of supposed to care. But I'd say you're a lucky ducky if you don't. If there is anything I had to learn the really hard way in this life is that caring about others and getting attached is the easiest and most reliable way to get screwed over, which was proven time and time again both by my own experience and by experiences of others that I observed. I think you're blessed, my friend.

 

[Sherri]

I'm better of caring about others than myself, I can make Others feel better even though my life is a mess.

 

[stygal]

I kind of stopped caring after noticing none of my kind acts or feelings for others were ever reciprocated. Probably already in my early childhood.
I tried to tell myself I cared about others a lot...but the truth is I only cry when matters of my own person are concerned.
I wish I'd gotten to know who it feels to feel.

 

[Konjac]

I tend to come across as really detached and apathetic. Most people think I straight up don't care about anything, but most of the time the reality is I just don't know how to express my emotions. I care, but I suck at showing it. I'm usually the person people go to for advice on things, but never emotional support. Kinda sucks when I want to help but have no idea how.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

I go back and forth, I guess. Right now I honestly don't really care about people irl. I just hung out with a friend because I felt obligated. I talk to my parents out of obligation, text my brother when I feel like I have to.

I do care about people online, such as the friends I've made from this site. I want to see them be happy, every positive step that they take is nice to see - lately I've seen a few friends get back into hobbies, push themselves to do things to help themselves. A few friends have started new relationships or have deepened their relationships with others. I try to show them love and support when I can....

 

[HappiestDayOfMyLife]

I feel things intensely, so I care a lot about others. Until they hurt me...then I intensely dislike them. Oh, the joys of BPD.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I feel things intensely, so I care a lot about others. Until they hurt me...then I intensely dislike them. Oh, the joys of BPD.

I can agree with that.

When I first met someone I treat them with respect. If I like them then we're typically pretty cool friends. But I don't stand for bs either, and it won't take me anytime to not care. I don't even care about not caring, 'you' were a d*ck to me, why should I care.

 

[WornOutLife]

I find it hard but I think that's because it takes a lot of time for me to trust in people.
If they gain my trust, I will absolutely care about them and do my best to be there when they need.

However, here on SS, for some reason, I really care about people even though we haven't met IRL. I guess that's because this is the only place in which we actually can understand each other.

 

[262653]

I care about others when it's an extension of self-care.

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

I used to care too much. Now, I still care but not too much.
Yet for some reason I keep caring way too much about how everyone is judging me... even when I don't even like them. Go figure.

 

[TheWood]

As far as I'm concerned, I'm caring about myself. It wasn't always like that, It was a continuos process for improve myself. As for others, over time I've learned (and I'm still learning) to help only those who deserve it

 

[Un-]

Everyone and everything I've ever spoken with in my life, including myself, could die and I wouldn't loose sleep over it. Paradoxical, I suppose, but the cons of having a heart far outweigh the pros.

 

[Sherri]

No, I've done charity since a teenager. Elderly houses, street homeless feeding, drug abuse blankets and food also, min security jails, male and females, never Felt so safe. I've learned a lot about how cruel life is from these sweet souls. Due to the virus I haven't done it with our non profit organisation. They only authorise the main ones who are affiliated .

 

[FuneralCry]

A lot of the time, I am overly focused on my own misery. I try to care about others but most of the time I just care about things that directly affect myself. I do believe that humans can be quite selfish overall, it is our lives after all so we tend to put ourselves first.