Does anyone else feel life ends at 13?

[zzdam]

Literally since after being 13 my life has been a downward spiral over which i've had no control. I remember the happy old days when I had no worries in life. I've had some memorable moments here and there, of course, where I have been happy but obviously my best and happy days are well behind me. I remember being like this since 7 or 8. I remember thinking one day of course the inevitable would happen and all the people I love would pass away and it's just too much for me everyday. The funny thing is i've based my education and degrees around trying to do something about aging and work in scientific research for it (I know how stupid it sounds) but that's literally all I can ever think about. Every passing year my life just gets more and more and more depressing.

It's agonising to see my mother age and even more so to know I can't do anything about it. I have no control over the direction in which my life is headed and just have to go with the flow. In a few days I have to move out for a new job to a city 5 hours away from home.

Does anyone else feel what is the point? It's just going to get worse from here on now. I'm depressed and frequently at night by myself thinking about these things and my mother (never in front of her though of course). I have barely any friends and 0 social circle even here.

Now even that's going as I move to do a depressing job I don't want to be doing in a city far away.

It's clear how my life is panning out and I know I have barely any control! Get older and work, spend more time away from mother, watch her get even older and weaker and me being unable to do anything about it, be disconnected from all family in the country I grew up in. Eventually everyone just passes away, and i'm just there by myself as always waiting for the same to happen to me too. Lol.

I'm not scared of dying tbh, I feel so disconnected from the world sometimes. We're all born to die anyway, most of our existences are worthless and mean f*ck all in the grand scheme of things. We're all just born to suffer.

Tbh, I don't know why i'm writing this or what I want to achieve... Guess I just wanted somewhere to write something, I guess.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, I have never wanted to be alive. I have never been able to understand people who enjoyed life and wanted to live. Life is very depressing, of course we are only here because people decided to selfishly procreate. Life is just a pointless experience that we go through for the sake of it. Life bothers me to a great extent and I have absolutely no interest in living. Every day I think what is the point. I understand it can be a hopeless feeling when things just get worse. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[OrcWitch]

13-15 seems to be a very common age for poor mental health and depression to set in. Interesting.

 

[Bleak]

13-15 seems to be a very common age for poor mental health and depression to set in. Interesting.

Yeah I guess combination of hormones and being ushered in to the wonderful world of adulthood. My life started going downhill in the teen years too and it's been like an unstoppable locomotive since then.

 

[sickofbeinghere]

nah my childhood was fucking awful. life began at 18 for me

 

[orange]

Y'all were happy at some point?

 

[eternalpeace]

I don't believe life ends at 13. On the contrary, most people I know became happier at some point in adulthood.

My teens were awful, but there were a few good periods during university and late-twenties. Even a few bright spots in the early thirties, though they didn't last.

 

[Mr2005]

I would think they're only about 18 themselves. It ends at the point the person decides it does and that seems to be getting younger

 

[gr1lledcheese]

Most of my childhood was unhappy, but I was 13 the first time I tried to ctb.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I can understand where you're coming from. I know that terrifying feeling of the Earth going from under your feet, when you keep trying to capture the memories of happy past but the last bits of familiarity are going away and it feels like the end of the world and like you'll never be happy again. I do not want to invalidate your feelings, and what I'm about to say might be unpopular, but here it goes: it might actually not be that bad and even get better if you give it a try. Best years of my life were adult years, even though if you'd ask me about my future when I was a teeanger I would swear nothing good is ever going to happen to me and my life is already over. Change is terrifying and I can't promise you it will be for the better. But it can be. Not all adults are absolutely miserable.
Take care!

 

[Rain_Hermit]

I remember begging God to end my existence when I was 13.

 

[blueclover_.]

It started going down at 11 but 13 was when it got real so fast.

 

[Nolan96]

I have to echo what others have said: For me adulthood ended up being a slight relief from how awful adolescence was. I hated being a child and I hated being a teenager. A lot of people who feel this way were abused or neglected. That's not the case with me, but because I feel similarly in certain ways about childhood I do tend to strongly empathize with them.

Also, have you seen the documentary The Immortalists (2014)? It goes over a lot of what you're talking about. It's about two scientists who are convinced they can find a permanent cure to aging. They seemed very optimistic, but I did find the whole thing very depressing honestly. I probably couldn't get through it now.

 

[ultrafuntimes]

I was 11 when mental health issues began to surface, so around that same age range.
I don't think this was because life suddenly became more difficult at this time, but more so just becoming more aware of life itself.

Life has always been painful. When I was younger I was too naive to pay as much mind to the worries I had, though. I was just living moment to moment.
Childhood was the worst. Even though my mental health is worse than it has ever been, at the very least I can say I'm glad my life circumstances have improved since then.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Life didn't really start for me until I was around 18.

And it still sucks.

 

[deleted]

I wish I had died at 12 when I was still innocent

 

[ncmxm]

I think the way I feel is similar to how you feel about it, ageing scares me a lot more than death.

And it was similar for me, I wasn't very happy as a kid but I started to get really depressed around 13 or 14