Venting does anyone care about weight? i feel out of touch

[misarexic]

tw eating disorder

reached my goal weight this morning, and i feel so empty despite this being my goal for months now. does anyone actually care about weight like i do? im obsessed with comparing myself to others and i kind of assumed that everybody else does this as well.

i just need a reality check. does anyone else actually give a shit about if i weighed 90 lbs compared to 230? ive been trapped in this spiral to lose weight and now that im here im miserable. i feel awful and tired and not at all like i thought i would feel when i reached it.

 

[R.E.N.]

I actually don't care about weight at all and how it would be perceived which leads me to have a 15.4 BMI. People give me shit for it constantly, but I cannot seem to care about it and still might even lose more out of neglect.

 

[just_so_done]

i thought if i would reach my goal after restricting and eating so healthy i would be not happy bc i dont experience that but some excitement or celebration. now it just feels like a constant battle to keep it there and i keep watching it go back up and its killing me every single day, this fight to want to binge and to restrict. to stop keeping fighting the scale knowing its just going to make my day shitty and worse if i fail and eat or even eat healthy and weight goes up. Im so tired of this but i feel like now some of my family saw such a weight loss theyre all like its great and i feel i have to maintain it.

but i think at the end of the day. OP its about whether you give a shit how much you weigh. if you're miserable at your goal weight but would be less miserable at a higher weight and are able to that then choose being less miserable. its not worth it and maybe you can get more out of life.

 

[underscore]

it never feels like ur GW when u finally reach it. it nvr feels like enough. it is so harrowing 2 feel so empty after such an 'accomplishment'. i promise u the real 1s couldnt give a shit less what u weigh, the experiences yall have together r what folks stick around 4. caring more abt ur body than others is a hard reality 2 face & we are definitely on the same page, fighting the spiral. ive had tastes of 'normal' life & ed life thru lapses & relapses & no matter how hard it gets 2 gain or maintain its always been harder 2 lose weight physically & emotionally, & 2 lose my friends 2 my ed . between self-isolating 2 fast & random lashing-outs when food is around, maintaining relationships gets difficult when weight loss becomes ur top priority over ANYTHING else in ur life.
ur friends care about you, not ur body. most are unlikely 2 even think about folks/their own bodies like that, if thats what ur asking. i hope u find peace in ur own body, its ur 1st & last home. have a beautiful day sib

 

[Arachne]

ive never cared about another persons weight in my entire life but my weight became i problem for me when around the time i started puberty, nobody ever called me fat but people would make comments about me gaining weight or the size of clothes i wear and my "friends" would call me chubby a lot, i was 5'0 and abt 115 ive lost weight since but it really was a struggle and really fucked up my relationship with food but im still so scared of any weight gain and it sucks

 

[3ndl3ss-v0id]

tw eating disorder

reached my goal weight this morning, and i feel so empty despite this being my goal for months now. does anyone actually care about weight like i do? im obsessed with comparing myself to others and i kind of assumed that everybody else does this as well.

i just need a reality check. does anyone else actually give a shit about if i weighed 90 lbs compared to 230? ive been trapped in this spiral to lose weight and now that im here im miserable. i feel awful and tired and not at all like i thought i would feel when i reached it.

I feel you. The feeling of "not yet" "I'll lose a little bit more and I'll look fine" or "well that was disappointing" is really draining and it never seems to cease. I've been pending between starving and being so tired that I give up and eat everything at sight hence all my stretch marks. I focus so much on what I want to look like I can't even see my body how it actually is. I might look great but I'll never know because to me I look fat and I'm sure everyone else see me the same. Not everyone is obsessed with their apparence and scale number but you're definitely not the only one in here.

 

[carac]

I think you should focus on the fact you had a goal to reach and you made it and be proud in terms of the principle rather than the result. People naturally come in all shapes and sizes so it wouldn't be normal if we all had the exact same bmi