Venting Does anybody ever feel like a higher power is fucking with them?

[Unlovable98]

I want to preface this by saying that i don't actually believe in God or any other higher power. but i often feel like there some sort of malevolent... something going out of its way to manipulate my life to make sure I'm as miserable as possible.
anybody else feel that way?

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Sometimes I have unbelievable bad luck. I don't know why, I didn't do anything to accrue negative Karma. However I was gifted from birth with lots of privileges. Unfortunately my actual life is a tortuous nightmare and I can never make full use of them.

It does feel like being fucked with sometimes.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

It never occurs to me that there's a higher power…

 

[[HNO]]

im incarnated in a total subhuman destined to die alone. genetical and social dead end
probably god aint gave me soul from a soul bank and as i dont have a one my existence plane split in that golem made from clay category, parody on a human being

 

[gimzero]

They want you trapped here i wonder how they judge those who ctb what the system.

 

[Unlovable98]

If you think there's a higher power watching you then please tell him to f*ck off because I've tried already.

been there done that, nothing changed...

 

[Everlong]

I believe in both but I don't subscribe to the current or previous theories. Any benevolent celestial being that acts like a man isn't anything but imagination.

"In the beginning, God made man in his image. Then man returned the favor."
~ Mark Twain

I do believe there are forces of another dimension we can't access in physical form but we "blur the lines" from time to time. I think nature is created and ambivalent. The system works as every living thing is vying for the sun's energy.
"Good and bad" could be explained by evolutionary means. We love, we tend to flourish. Hate breeds chaos and death. But forces that bring someone whom is perfectly healthy to jump in front of a bullet for a perfect stranger with no apparent personal gain can't be minimized to "the common good".
I don't think that sentiment is foolish. But I have at times felt this force. I understand anecdotes aren't evidence. But to me, it's kinda like paraphrasing Justice Potter Stewart, "I can't define pornography, but I know it when I see it."
Your mileage may vary.

 

[Unlovable98]

I believe in both but I don't subscribe to the current or previous theories. Any benevolent celestial being that acts like a man isn't anything but imagination.

"In the beginning, God made man in his image. Then man returned the favor."
~ Mark Twain

I do believe there are forces of another dimension we can't access in physical form but we "blur the lines" from time to time. I think nature is created and ambivalent. The system works as every living thing is vying for the sun's energy.
"Good and bad" could be explained by evolutionary means. We love, we tend to flourish. Hate breeds chaos and death. But forces that bring someone whom is perfectly healthy to jump in front of a bullet for a perfect stranger with no apparent personal gain can't be minimized to "the common good".
I don't think that sentiment is foolish. But I have at times felt this force. I understand anecdotes aren't evidence. But to me, it's kinda like paraphrasing Justice Potter Stewart, "I can't define pornography, but I know it when I see it."
Your mileage may vary.

Im not sure i follow...

 

[Suicidebydeath]

If you think there's a higher power watching you then please tell him to f*ck off because I've tried already.

I personally don't, but I can give this a shot for you.


Sir/Madam

With reference to whichever deity or higher being that is currently controlling our reality, I am writing this to say, could you kindly f*ck off with all the suffering that we all have to go through. I don't know what game you think you're playing at, but I'm not impressed in the slightest.

Sincerely,
SuicideByDeath

 

[Everlong]

Interesting thing to say on a suicide forum...

"Tend" being the operative word.

 

[Lullaby]

This place definitely feels like a prison and some of us are getting punished. The way things play out sometimes comes across like a very mean joke, I don't really know how to explain it.

 

[Unlovable98]

This place definitely feels like a prison and some of us are getting punished. The way things play out sometimes comes across like a very mean joke, I don't really know how to explain it.

I often feel like I'm being punished. and if that's true I'm fine with that IF I am told why. after all is it fair to punish someone if they don't even remember or know what crime they committed?

 

[jodes2]

I'm just plagued with bad luck

 

[neonzebra]

At the moment especially, yes.
Last month the universe gave me three major life crises, all in the same week. It feels like I'm being told it's time to go.

 

[FuneralCry]

Suffering and cruelty is the reality of this existence. Everything is determined by random factors such as luck, there really is no reason or explanation as to why things are this way, pain is just an inevitable consequence of being alive. The amount of suffering that exists is why I believe it to always be better to never exist at all, there is no such thing as a higher power.

 

[old red eyes]

I get given choices after choices after choices...always make the wrong one, always...then God laughs at me ...now i have run out.....I need to ctb before all is known...

 

[Everlong]

Im not sure i follow...

I think we are far more than meat and electricity. I believe there's a piece to this meat puppet (call it a soul, if you want) that's created (for what purpose) that belongs to another realm. It communicates with the outside differently than our other senses. However, it's still stuck in here. So from time to time, just like a misfire in the brain, lines are blurred and we become aware. Sorta listening in on a private line.
Evidence? Nothing solid. But man has been experiencing and experimenting with "the unknown" since we came down from the trees. And I believe there's still far more beauty in the human Spirit than ugliness. Any of my observations can be written off as quack, evolutionary means or possession of a prefrontal lobe. But the OP asked us individually and I've seen shit that I won't accept the above as sufficient for me. I do believe in Love. Evil is very fucking real too. And not just for the jollies a freak gets committing it.

 

[Unlovable98]

I think we are far more than meat and electricity. I believe there's a piece to this meat puppet (call it a soul, if you want) that's created (for what purpose) that belongs to another realm. It communicates with the outside differently than our other senses. However, it's still stuck in here. So from time to time, just like a misfire in the brain, lines are blurred and we become aware. Sorta listening in on a private line.
Evidence? Nothing solid. But man has been experiencing and experimenting with "the unknown" since we came down from the trees. And I believe there's still far more beauty in the human Spirit than ugliness. Any of my observations can be written off as quack, evolutionary means or possession of a prefrontal lobe. But the OP asked us individually and I've seen shit that I won't accept the above as sufficient for me. I do believe in Love. Evil is very fucking real too. And not just for the jollies a freak gets committing it.

i agree, ive also seen things that cannot be explained "rationally". and i occasionally see things in dreams that happen later on. though they are always mudane every day things. like eating. why cant i get a set of winning lotto numbers?

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I am being punished by the karmic laws of the universe due to illusionary beliefs I've had since childhood….

 

[Unlovable98]

I am being punished by the karmic laws of the universe due to illusionary beliefs I've had since childhood….

such as?

 

[Suicidebydeath]

"What is the meaning of it, Watson?" said Holmes solemnly as he laid down the paper. "What object is served by this circle of misery and violence and fear? It must tend to some end, or else our universe is ruled by chance, which is unthinkable. But what end? There is the great standing perennial problem to which human reason is as far from an answer as ever."

I don't know why we have to endure unwarranted pain and suffering, there isn't a good reason that satisfies it.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

I want to preface this by saying that i don't actually believe in God or any other higher power. but i often feel like there some sort of malevolent... something going out of its way to manipulate my life to make sure I'm as miserable as possible.
anybody else feel that way?

YES. I have felt this way for so long. I often feel like the many medical and personal and mental health problems I've been faced with are some kind of 'punishment' for something I did/said. It's really messed me up. I get afraid to say or do anything that might be deemed "bad" for fear of more 'punishment' being handed down to me. I know that sounds really ridiculous but I can't help it, I guess it's how my brain is attempting to find some kind of sense or logic to why my life has been so full of random, seemingly senseless horrible shit....

 

[Mixo]

It sounds a little nutty to most people, but I do believe that I have accrued negative karma in this life and possibly ones previous that I'm unaware of. Thinking about previous lives, it's not possible for me to know anything, but I can look back at mistakes I made earlier in my life by not showing enough empathy, generosity, patience to someone's particular situation and how that has directly come back to me now by plaguing me with those exact same situations now - many of which can't be resolved or fixed easily, and therefore, cause suffering.

However, the implication of having such a belief leaves more questions about other people's suffering and whether it's deserved, which is obviously problematic. So I only can say that I believe this to be true for myself and my own life. The concept of karma been a big motivator for me practicing Buddhism now. I know I'm probably never going to be perfect or saintly as the Dalai Lama. I'm going to fuck up and continue erring, but I can learn how to stop causing suffering and take accountability when I do.

 

[actual_fox]

Hello.
Please tell me why do you feel such way? I mean do you have specific instances that cannot be explained by bad luck?
Do you have intrusive thoughts, or do you hear voices and stuff? No judgment If you do, I just want to know.

Did you take part in any sort of "spiritual work" or "spiritual healing" or had any weird instances of synchronicities or contacting disembodied entities?

It sounds a little nutty to most people, but I do believe that I have accrued negative karma in this life and possibly ones previous that I'm unaware of. Thinking about previous lives, it's not possible for me to know anything, but I can look back at mistakes I made earlier in my life by not showing enough empathy, generosity, patience to someone's particular situation and how that has directly come back to me now by plaguing me with those exact same situations now - many of which can't be resolved or fixed easily, and therefore, cause suffering.

However, the implication of having such a belief leaves more questions about other people's suffering and whether it's deserved, which is obviously problematic. So I only can say that I believe this to be true for myself and my own life. The concept of karma been a big motivator for me practicing Buddhism now. I know I'm probably never going to be perfect or saintly as the Dalai Lama. I'm going to fuck up and continue erring, but I can learn how to stop causing suffering and take accountability when I do.

I personally think that karma is a bit outdated thing. Punishing same "soul" for the thing it did in lives it does not remember is like punishing person A for what person B did. I used to be a Buddhist but I now think that one should not be subjected to reincarnation at all. It is too cruel for me to live many life times.

 

[Everlong]

Suffering and cruelty is the reality of this existence. Everything is determined by random factors such as luck, there really is no reason or explanation as to why things are this way, pain is just an inevitable consequence of being alive. The amount of suffering that exists is why I believe it to always be better to never exist at all, there is no such thing as a higher power.

Many people went to Auschwitz. Dr Frankel was one. In his book, Man's Search for Meaning, he surmised the people who lost purpose were the ones to die by suicide. Obviously discounting the murdered. I'd say it's more than luck that determines outcomes.
I agree suffering is inevitable. The Buddha had some interesting takes on suffering. The revulsion and fleeing the pain was a higher toll to pay than the suffering agent itself. Everything is perspective. I can absolutely look at the situation I'm in and look for the silver lining and use that as hope to make my life worth living. To accept my consequences. This bed, I made. I poured the cold bucket of water on it. This isn't a pep talk.
I'm suicidal. Not because these things can't be overcome. It's because I had the world and couldn't see it. I fucked the cat and now have nothing…and that's all I see.
There's good in the world. But my hands are over my eyes and given the choice, I choose death. I don't believe my mental health will ever be "fixed" to my satisfaction or one that my wife is comfortable enough to have me back in the house.
I say all of this because there is Love. And I would be a liar if I claimed to love you all didn't share what I believe to be truth. These concepts are very real to me. My posts aren't platitudes, mindfucks or empty words. If anyone has doubts, stop. Breathe. Wait. Try.
We are all adults, though. They're your Legos and you can kick the tower down if you choose. However, this decision we all are fucking with effects a hell of a lot more than the insurance company's bottom line. Other peoples' "luck" and "randomness" teeters on any one of us kicking that chair or drinking the poison.
I hope you all get some peace today. I honestly do.
Think hard…

 

[1000winds]

in my life i have never gone for 5 years with the universe slapping me and i've had it!!!

 

[theresonlyonewayout]

I said a few times that I feel like I'm in some sadistic Truman Show. If that counts then yes.

 

[8evergo]

ohh yeah deep in me with out cream

 

[Lawliet]

i absolutely feel like i'm cursed, but i think it's by another person or people and not a higher power, as i don't believe in one. on the flip side i also believe that i am the higher power fucking myself over.

 

[Everlong]

i absolutely feel like i'm cursed, but i think it's by another person or people and not a higher power, as i don't believe in one. on the flip side i also believe that i am the higher power fucking myself over.

If we aren't being hunted, but death is certain, we are all most definitely fucking ourselves. Let it be so…