Does anybody else feel like you can’t talk about things you’re ashamed of on here?

[Circles]

I don't know whats the point of my post. Maybe it's a rant about myself or just things in general but I hate how I can't feel comfortable to talk about things that I'd be quickly judged over. Like I want to talk about it and maybe get through if I can but it's like there's always this barrier preventing me from wanting to admit my faults and what I'm ashamed of.

 

[Slimetae]

Yea some things I'll just never speak on

 

[unkempt2]

I feel that way too..
I've been going back and forth on posting.

 

[Hollowman]

Yes, it's best to take some things to the grave.

 

[whatevs]

I don't know whats the point of my post. Maybe it's a rant about myself or just things in general but I hate how I can't feel comfortable to talk about things that I'd be quickly judged over. Like I want to talk about it and maybe get through if I can but it's like there's always this barrier preventing me from wanting to admit my faults and what I'm ashamed of.

Shoot away. One month ago a guy confessed dreaming of following people and murdering them or something like that and nothing happened. Spill your secrets, we are at the gates of Death here hypothetically.

 

[western_heart]

I have experienced this, shame creates barriers to communication.

I have been able to overcome some barriers. My only outlet for talking about some of my childhood trauma is to myself, writing with pen on paper while on drugs. It's hard for me to get myself to go back and look at those pages...

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

There's definitely one or two things I would never speak about here. One of them only my best friend knows about.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

I don't know whats the point of my post. Maybe it's a rant about myself or just things in general but I hate how I can't feel comfortable to talk about things that I'd be quickly judged over. Like I want to talk about it and maybe get through if I can but it's like there's always this barrier preventing me from wanting to admit my faults and what I'm ashamed of.

Oh it's not just you. As I grow older, the less I share with everyone. Both on a semi-casual level like this forum, and on a personal level with people I've known for years. People are busy, and have stressful things of their own. I don't feel its justified to share my problems anymore.

 

[Circles]

Shoot away. One month ago a guy confessed dreaming of following people and murdering them or something like that and nothing happened. Spill your secrets, we are at the gates of Death here hypothetically.

While I'm not that bad, I still feel like I'd be judged over what I feel and think about no matter what. Just like for example if you say you're an incel or something people will treat you entirely different and judge you for it, not saying I am btw but still.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Yes, I'm ashamed of some of my attitudes in the past and I would give everything to be able to change them.

 

[demuic]

but it's like there's always this barrier preventing me from wanting to admit my faults and what I'm ashamed of.

I think there are few people who would find it easy to talk about these things.

I keep a lot of things to myself. It is better than having to deal with people who won't understand, and having to be on the defensive.

 

[Fragile]

Yes, I've felt it at times. There are many things that I'll take to my grave.

 

[Glowarm]

I would say kind of yes but kind of no for me.

There's always a lot going through my head and I suppose at times it would be good to get some of it out. And to be honest, I actually feel that I could talk about deeply guarded internal things on here. But I also always feel that my issues are just that, my issues. And I don't want to be a bother to others.

 

[Ashu]

I feel completely free of shame here, and completely free. I understand if you don't feel that way, though, and hope you will soon.

 

[Circles]

I feel completely free of shame here, and completely free. I understand if you don't feel that way, though, and hope you will soon.

Even after all these years I still can't fully open up. :/

 

[Al Cappella]

Same. There are things I would never say here…

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Considering multiple people on this website have mocked those with my conditions and said they aren't that bad (or not real at all and called me a narcissist for talking about them), alongside saying those with cancer have it worse, yes. It makes it harder to talk about what is bothering me when it gets turned into an endless pissing contest of who has it the worst.

 

[rationaltake]

I'm naturally reticent anyway. But sometimes I just can't be bothered with my own problems. They bore me so why should I pester anyone else with them?

 

[Julgran]

I don't know whats the point of my post. Maybe it's a rant about myself or just things in general but I hate how I can't feel comfortable to talk about things that I'd be quickly judged over. Like I want to talk about it and maybe get through if I can but it's like there's always this barrier preventing me from wanting to admit my faults and what I'm ashamed of.

I'm there with you

Our reasons for being here are deeply personal, but know this - anything that you write here can't be traced to you as a person.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

After some particularly upsetting experiences, there are certain subjects I simply cannot discuss here again. The last straw was when someone I considered a friend harassed me, told me that I deserved every bit of abuse I experienced, said he hoped my vagina "hurts and bleeds" and even recounted specific anecdotes I had shared with him in confidence about my life, and used them to intentionally upset me. He even admitted this, stating that he deliberately triggered me because it's what I deserved. It's not the only negative experience I have had on here, but it's among the most painful.

Retrospectively, I was not cautious enough. I have never felt safe anywhere, never been able to talk about my past traumas or my health issues and be met with acceptance and support. I was blinded by how starved I was of connection. I was so desperate that I clung onto the fleeting comfort that acknowledgement and support from sharing here provided. Of course, there are plenty of things I didn't share that I will never divulge to anyone, but I posted some things I had never told a soul before.

In any setting and situation, confiding in others - especially people we do not know - comes with risks. I hoped that this site would be an exception, but that was admittedly naïve on my part. Some things are just better kept to myself, and that's okay.

Having said this, there are some truly lovely, genuine people here, who I am grateful to have met, even if I wish it could be under better circumstances for all of us.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me talking about stuff is pointless. It does not achieve anything or make me feel better. Words are meaningless to me.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Eh, not exactly. The only things I have to be ashamed about on this website are maybe about how childish all my interests and favored IPs are but those aren't nearly as bad as the kind of adult stuff I'm into that I don't go into detail much around here and probably never will.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Not ashamed per se, but I feel old and unrelatable. I'm also in a weird, nuanced sort of situation that is tricky to fully grasp unless you know me well.

 

[katara]

After some particularly upsetting experiences, there are certain subjects I simply cannot discuss here again. The last straw was when someone I considered a friend harassed me, told me that I deserved every bit of abuse I experienced, said he hoped my vagina "hurts and bleeds" and even recounted specific anecdotes I had shared with him in confidence about my life, and used them to intentionally upset me. He even admitted this, stating that he deliberately triggered me because it's what I deserved. It's not the only negative experience I have had on here, but it's among the most painful.

Retrospectively, I was not cautious enough. I have never felt safe anywhere, never been able to talk about my past traumas or my health issues and be met with acceptance and support. I was blinded by how starved I was of connection. I was so desperate that I clung onto the fleeting comfort that acknowledgement and support from sharing here provided. Of course, there are plenty of things I didn't share that I will never divulge to anyone, but I posted some things I had never told a soul before.

In any setting and situation, confiding in others - especially people we do not know - comes with risks. I hoped that this site would be an exception, but that was admittedly naïve on my part. Some things are just better kept to myself, and that's okay.

Having said this, there are some truly lovely, genuine people here, who I am grateful to have met, even if I wish it could be under better circumstances for all of us.

Damn that's pretty dark. People like that are the reason I've lost hope. I've always had this mentality where I tried to see the good in people, but after multiple experiences it's just become so.... depressing. Before I found this site I would post on this place called suicidewatch, if you've never been on Reddit you've probably never heard of it. Anyways I'd go on there a lot, I'd also search for different depression chat rooms to post on. I decided what I really wanted was a friend so I looked for lonely chat rooms to see what showed up. I remember the first time I go to this place called foreveralone, and there was a post about how "women never deal with being lonely" or something along those lines, and i was like "oh wow ANOTHER one of these shitholes". I noticed it's especially difficult for women in any place like this, because I've seen it multiple times. The first suicide chat room I ever went to was owned by this guy named Josh who was a pedophile who emailed me saying he was going to kill and rape me. This place used to actually be the first site that showed up when you Google "suicide chat room" When I've tried to open up to people it feels impossible because I know they just don't understand or care. Sometimes I wished i didn't care either..

 

[Pluto]

It's a tragedy of circumstance that some topics are not appropriate here due to the sheer diversity of the community. By nature, most rants will target a particular demographic with some sort of implied criticism. For example, I have commented on certain cluster b personality disorders which afflicted my primary childhood abusers, though in no way would I intend any collateral damage to anyone else here who happens to be burdened with a diagnosis of that same type.

 

[.............]

Everyone will always have those things they want to keep in, me included.

 

[Hirokami]

Kind of, though it's a bit different in my case. I'm more scared of being found out irl than anons judging me (though, being shunned by the only community that I can relate to wouldn't be a fun experience, either). I seldom share my personal experiences on here, though I am vague enough to ensure my anonymity.

There are specific details about my less-than-savory experiences that would definitely out me if the wrong person read my posts. And I'm not even talking about names and locations, either. Of course, I'm also just a very reserved person. I don't like to overshare that often, anyway. Years of emotional invalidation will do that to a person.

 

[braindead911]

Some things are just better left unsaid.

 

[MellowAvenue]

Yes and no. There are certain things I would only ever talk about here if I talk about it at all because I feel like I can say it here without being judged too harshly and even if someone does judge it isn't as "real" and hurtful to me as when a friend or family member does it. There are other things I will probably always choose to keep to myself unless I think it's necessary to tell someone.

 

[Foresight]

That's perfectly normal. It's hard being vulnerable about our deep thoughts and feelings.

I've never held back here for some reason. I'm almost done it on purpose to start to feel comfortable with that feeling. I just expose myself left and right. I'm not that interesting for it to be eventful anyway. I've felt embarrassment though, that's natural.