... then try to find something online that can describe it but sometimes still can't? It's indescribable for me to pin down what I'm feeling like words alone doesn't do any justice for what I'm experiencing. I feel dark and empty, but it's more than that and I just can't express it. I've been trying to search up on things like just for example 'life is depressing' but the search results doesn't go in-depth enough about the numerous reasons as to why life is fucking depressing. To me I can find something depressing or negative in almost everything or maybe I'm just too sensitive, but all I feel is that everything feels wrong. I try to read up on philosophy and pessimism to get some in-depth answers, but it's like searching for a needle in a haystack especially with trying to find that niche author (for me it's Schopenhauer, Camus, Cloran, etc.) and the topics they're discussing given how difficult philosophy can be at times since it's not in layman's terms. It honestly makes me feel even more isolated feeling like no one really understands besides the people here and even then it's just not enough. This short post alone took me close to an hour just trying to describe what I'm thinking and what I want to say.
Rachel74
Enlightened
- Sep 7, 2019
- 1,716
RM5998
Sack of Meat
- Sep 3, 2018
- 2,202
I find it hard to figure out what words to use all the time... I've edited the verbiage of this post more times than there are lines on my hand. It's so easy to know what words mean, but so hard to figure out what they mean to the people hearing them.
Pull up the list of feeling words in a search engine. There are lists of descriptive words that can help u identify what you are actually feeling more clearly. You might be feeling a lot more than just one thing, then when you write down all the words you are feeling, u can investigate as to what is at the root.
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stellabelle
ethereal
- Dec 14, 2018
- 3,919
I understand this feeling. Usually I just label it "overwhelming emotion", although I don't discuss it with others I do often find myself struggling to find a label for the feelings, it's just like there's several things at once.
This is a brilliant idea. Thankyou.
Beautifulletdown
Brightburn
- Jul 6, 2019
- 231
I've often felt bad about being less than positive 24/7. I've even Googled whether negativity can be a positive thing because people are often shunned or put down for being negative. I truly believe that doing that doesn't make someone positive. At least telling me all I have to do is think positive didnt work for me. I think every feeling, emotion has a purpose. Anyway...I found this online. Hoping I'm not completely off about your post.
www.weforum.org
Why negative thoughts are actually good for well-being
A psychotherapist argues that we shouldn’t suppress negatives thoughts and emotions.
www.weforum.org
Wayfaerer
JFMSUF
- Aug 21, 2019
- 1,938
I suffered with that when I was younger because the cause of my misery was very unusual and the emotion that it incited was complicated but now things are different and I fully understand.
Divine Trinity
Pugna Vigil
- Mar 20, 2019
- 310
For me, it's the constant pain I'm leaving in that I can't describe to my friends.
The closest I came was to tell them:
"Look, imagine you have three people in your life you love more than anything in this world: your lover, your sister, and your best friend. Now, imagine you come home one day and you find your lover in bed with your best friend. Take the shock of that image, the collapse of your closest relationships and of any notion of trust in your body. Now, imagine you run to the phone to call your best friend to help you breath and survive that moment, and somebody answers her phone and tell you she's dead. Take that image in your body, too, and try to visualize the desert your life has become in a matter of minutes. That's how my constant emotional agony feels like, sometimes six months in a row, twenty hours a day, without respite."
This image spoke to them more than any medicalized, rational terms I had used before. However, I still don't think they get it, because their imagination can produce the acute pain of a moment like this, but cannot jump to hold the idea that one would live chronically with that pain.
And my friends are kind, smart, complex, self-aware, loving people, who are really trying to understand me.
I don't feel the need to explain anything to anyone else except my therapist and my psychiatrist. God knows what they make out of this :)
The closest I came was to tell them:
"Look, imagine you have three people in your life you love more than anything in this world: your lover, your sister, and your best friend. Now, imagine you come home one day and you find your lover in bed with your best friend. Take the shock of that image, the collapse of your closest relationships and of any notion of trust in your body. Now, imagine you run to the phone to call your best friend to help you breath and survive that moment, and somebody answers her phone and tell you she's dead. Take that image in your body, too, and try to visualize the desert your life has become in a matter of minutes. That's how my constant emotional agony feels like, sometimes six months in a row, twenty hours a day, without respite."
This image spoke to them more than any medicalized, rational terms I had used before. However, I still don't think they get it, because their imagination can produce the acute pain of a moment like this, but cannot jump to hold the idea that one would live chronically with that pain.
And my friends are kind, smart, complex, self-aware, loving people, who are really trying to understand me.
I don't feel the need to explain anything to anyone else except my therapist and my psychiatrist. God knows what they make out of this :)
Let us all push for MAID for those of us who cannot stop feeling like this.
Before beginning His prayer, Jesus is recorded in Matthew to have asked Peter, James and John to watch over Him. It is written that Jesus "began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed" (Matthew 26:37 NKJV). Jesus knew what was coming and didn't hide His emotions.
Luke recorded "(B)eing in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground" (Luke 22:44 NKJV). Jesus' struggle was so great that He bled from the pores of His skin. This truly is a sign of absolute distress.
This is how we live, distressed in the Garden of Gethsemane. ABSOLUTE DISTRESS. Every day, almost 24 hours per day (if we sleep we are temporarily relieved) We all require mercy killing...
