does anniversary of someone’s death mean anything?

[dinosavr]

I have a caring family and friends and I am trying to do anything I can to make my suicide cause as little damage as possible.
I used to think they wouldn't care but now I know they will.
One of the things I can control I guess is the day I choose to do it.

I never lost any of my friends or close family members, so I don't know how important it is. If you have, does your grief come back on the anniversaries? Is it any more painful than throughout the rest of the year?

I imagine it works like that and that's why I've been planning to ctb on February 29th so that the anniversary will be only once every four years.
I'm not sure. Maybe it will have the opposite effect? And they will consider both Feb 28th and March 1st the anniversary? Or maybe it doesn't matter at all?

Let me know what you guys think.

 

[CTB Fella]

Yes.

It means yet another year of suffering.

 

[DoubleUp8]

My friend ctb on anniversary of his wife's death. So it means something for some people

 

[Ash’Girl]

Grief is a beast.

Grief catches you out of the blue at any moment when a memory is triggered that reminds you of someone you love who is no longer here. It doesn't take a certain day to trigger it, but the big days - their birthdays, your anniversary, the date of death yes, they do tend to hit hard with consistency - but generally on the significant days you're aware it's coming, whereas the random triggers can't ever be predicted.

Honestly, people who love you will experience the pain of mourning you and there's little you can do about that. However, choosing to ctb oftimes means you are in significant pain that you are seeking an escape from, and I don't think that's selfish and I don't think you should feel guilty as you already feel bad enough, but unfortunately the pre emptive guilt is just part of human nature. I don't want to hurt anyone. Grief and pain is horrid. But also I'm suffering, and I'm in pain existing, and I guess it just depends if and when one overrides the other as to whether I ever successfully ctb or whether I just suffer existence til it's "natural" end.

 

[thinvy]

it can, but it might not. I'm currently in mourning for my boss's first death anniversary. I miss him dearly. my father's death day tends to hit hard too, but others? I can't even remember what day it was when they died. I wasn't close to a lot of the people I've known that passed. if my friends were to suddenly pass, that would fuck me up though.

I'm trying to plan my own d-day as much as I can to be mindful of my friend coworker who is also still grieving, and give them time to process his death again next year, then have a space in between Christmas and New years fun before they have reminders of my passing, but I need it to happen before my sibling's birthday, so she doesn't have to deal with that

 

[numar]

it depends i guess, it was super important to many every year but hopefully i dont have to go through it again

 

[Life_and_Death]

If you have, does your grief come back on the anniversaries? Is it any more painful than throughout the rest of the year?

yes. i lost my cat (someone that was so close to me that i considered her more like a mother.. she loved me like mine should have....)

it hasnt been a whole year yet, but its coming back up (may 13th). every day hurts, more days than not i cry. then it started to slow down a little bit. until about a month or so ago.. when i realized i was halfway through the year... im not longer getting farther away from her death but am now getting closer to it again...

years suck... why cant they somehow be a straight line instead of a circle.....

 

[vitbar]

It depends. With one of my relatives it hasn't really, but she wasn't in my life much in the final years and she was old and unwell. My ex on the other hand they can be a difficult days, even the weeks around them can be difficult. I also draw comfort from them though as I typically reach out to those I share this grief with.