Help do your family/ friends know about ctb?

[kindawannacrylol]

Have any of you tried to tell your family/friends about your plans to ctb? Have they tried to stop you or accepted that it's your choice? I want to tell my best friend about my plans to ctb i feel like i owe that to her instead of just leaving unexpectedly but i don't want her to try to stop me.

 

[Life_and_Death]

basically everyone that knows me knows im suicidal. the closer they are to me emotionally the more they know

 

[heatherwoof]

my friends even know about my plans usually. i blurt stuff out as a defense mechanism, bloody SI

 

[Buttercup2.0]

My oldest brother, knows I want to die and was extremely supportive. He said he wants me to be happy even if that means I'm not on this earth. It turned around a lot of horrible thoughts knowing the most important person in my life supports me. He does not know when nor is he happy about it. Never even said 'going to send a wellness check' (absolutely hate that shit) and overall biggest relief I can finally say I'll be resting in peace soon.
For my loved ones, I'll be sending them a care package full of photos, letters, gifts, and a USB drive of a voice recording chatting to them. I will be sending that on the day I do ctb so it arrives a few business days. I love them very much and I want them to live happy lives after me.

 

[Wrennie]

They know I want to die but they don't know that I have the means to at my disposal.

 

[grungeCat]

My whole family knows about my suicidal tendencies due to 'GREAT' polish police who decided to visit me after I had been whining on polish pro-life depression forum... and it was during family gathering. They told me to explain myself and of course I had to pretend I'm ok. Cuz otherwise they would take me to psych ward and believge me, polish psych ward is the worst place on the earth. Literal prison. Now my whole family makes fun of me, only my father wants to help me but he always did. This is so embarrassing and painful...

 

[NodusTollens]

I almost told someone in early 2020, before quarantine began. Then their relative died by CTB & it no longer felt appropriate. After that, I told a friend in March that I was thinking about it. We chatted about it for all of a few texts, then I never brought it up again. They also ghosted me about 2/3 months later.

My oldest brother, knows I want to die and was extremely supportive. He said he wants me to be happy even if that means I'm not on this earth. It turned around a lot of horrible thoughts knowing the most important person in my life supports me. He does not know when nor is he happy about it. Never even said 'going to send a wellness check' (absolutely hate that shit) and overall biggest relief I can finally say I'll be resting in peace soon.
For my loved ones, I'll be sending them a care package full of photos, letters, gifts, and a USB drive of a voice recording chatting to them. I will be sending that on the day I do ctb so it arrives a few business days. I love them very much and I want them to live happy lives after me.

I had a similar idea to you, I sent a couple packages & did last minute check-ins with a few people. The voice recording sounds like a touching idea.

Hearing your brother accepts how you're feeling is a dream, I am both happy for you & envious that I don't have that in my life. Good luck on your journey for peace. :)

 

[lobster salad]

I only told my closest friend. She knows I'm dead serious (pun intended lol) about quitting this journey. I've tried to tell my older sister and my dad too but it seems like they don't really believe me and they don't really understand, also I don't talk that much about it maybe once or twice this year because I don't have the balls to really tell anyone; I have trust issues. My family sees me everyday and they know for sure I'm unhappy, they just don't realise that suicide is on my mind all the fckin time. So when I go, my closest friend would be well prepared but unfortunately not my family. Afaik most in my family is mentally strong and they do not have the same persistent thoughts - well I'm the biggest failure in my family so that one is understandable. But I think it'll just take one or 2 years for them to recover, it's not like I ever talk to them much ,even in normal circumstances despite still living together. In all honesty they really don't need me either, I'm more dependent on my fam than they are on me. I've no therapist to talk to as well. So everyone thinks I'm all good and nobody knows my intentions.

 

[greyhound]

Parents know and siblings to some extent. They know I'm suffering with a chronic illness and want to go.

Friends do not know, I just have never told them the full extent of the illness to avoid being a Debbie Downer all the time. So they are less aware of what my motivation is. Plus I'm sure some of them would go to lengths to try to 'save' me based on their personality.

 

[Aeathelina]

Everyone knows because I often joke about how much I want to die but only a handful know that I'm extremely suicidal . But they don't care enough to give me any concern.

 

[NodusTollens]

I only told my closest friend. She knows I'm dead serious (pun intended lol)

Thanks for the chuckle.

I only told my closest friend. She knows I'm dead serious (pun intended lol) about quitting this journey. I've tried to tell my older sister and my dad too but it seems like they don't really believe me and they don't really understand, also I don't talk that much about it maybe once or twice this year because I don't have the balls to really tell anyone; I have trust issues. My family sees me everyday and they know for sure I'm unhappy, they just don't realise that suicide is on my mind all the fckin time. So when I go, my closest friend would be well prepared but unfortunately not my family. Afaik most in my family is mentally strong and they do not have the same persistent thoughts - well I'm the biggest failure in my family so that one is understandable. But I think it'll just take one or 2 years for them to recover, it's not like I ever talk to them much ,even in normal circumstances despite still living together. In all honesty they really don't need me either, I'm more dependent on my fam than they are on me. I've no therapist to talk to as well. So everyone thinks I'm all good and nobody knows my intentions.

I can definitely appreciate that it's difficult to bring it up to anyone. I also never talk about it, save for the once, maybe twice a year things become unbearable & I blurt it out in some way. HUGS. Oh, & I feel you, I also have trust issues... family smh
:) <3

 

[Adamsnolife]

No one knows or will know what I'm doing until the time I do it. It'll be a lot easier that way

 

[TStorm]

They know that I tried to ctb before, but I don't think they still know. I tried to tell my mom but she got angry with me so I haven't tried to bring it up again

 

[booray]

They know I want to die but they don't know that I have the means to at my disposal.

Likewise. And if they did, they'd have the cops over here in a heartbeat. This is only going to make my exit more stressful and angst-ridden than it needs to be. And it will likely happen sooner than I would prefer, but they are leaving me very few choices.

 

[ixkitty]

My mom doesn't believe me, "God is gonna be in control " says her..

I've been hospitalized 3 times for it, so my sister and brother and niece knows.. They're trying to be there more. More supportive for me..

 

[Grav]

My wife knows my desire but not anything about a plan. She's probably scouted around the house just to see what's available. Everyone else probably puts it up to "oh he's always a downer" and not much more than that, at least I've never heard anything more.

 

[Trisolaris]

My family and friends know I'm suicidal. They haven't accepted it.

 

[iwanttodie000]

I used to hide it behind a smile and keep it to myself. But over the past year, I have been a little more open on social media, sharing suicide/depression stuff and I think most people know I am suicidal on some level. BUT, they have zero idea how suicidal I actually am. How I think about it 24/7. How I crave it and want it more than anything. I know a handful of people will really struggle when I do it and I've stayed alive for that handful of people for years .. and I just can't do it anymore. I told myself I wouldn't see 2021, yet here I am. This is the final year. It has to be. This is the year my pain and my story ends. And I can't wait.

 

[Mentalmick]

My cpn knows about it but doesn't take it too seriously. Which suits me, means I don't get harassed too much. Psychiatrist's on the other hand will be getting sent detailed videos of the suicide with a vindictive sign saying "told you so, try believing people in the future"

 

[angelfeather]

I've not told any of my family/friends and don't feel I can. I have a great amount of guilt for my children. I hope they can forgive me, but I have letters for them both to explain the reasons. I feel if I told those close to me, I would loose control of my situation which due to childhood trauma I have never had throughout my life. In a way I wish I was able to be open and be able to talk to those close to me but unfortunately that's not the case.

 

[Ath]

Yeah. Its one of the my onging issues. Have to ctb when they are not around.

 

[Blue Rose]

In my real life, nobody knows my suicidal thought and plans, even my parents and doctor. All they are knowing that I had attempted to do CTB once or twice, but they think that I am okay and fine for now...

 

[Cakes]

No, no one else but people here know. My family thinks I'm okay but I'm truthfully really not okay.

 

[Fehler]

No, no one else but people here know. My family thinks I'm okay but I'm truthfully really not okay.

The same here, although I would like to have someone in rl to talk about it.

 

[Symbiote]

They know, but they don't really want to know. Only person that wants to know is my public advocate/therapist who checks in on me every month to make sure I'm still alive, know how I'm doing, etc. Part of their protocol since I got placed on the "High Risk" category. It's when I learned that people who are high-functioning in life who are suicidal are considered High Risk subjects, whereas people who are sedentary, live with parents, and have low energy are considered "low risk"

 

[Cakes]

The same here, although I would like to have someone in rl to talk about it.

Yeah me too, but its hard to express and people just don't want to listen since it's a sensitive subject

 

[Symbiote]

Yeah me too, but its hard to express and people just don't want to listen since it's a sensitive subject

People talk about cancer all day, but utter the 'S' word and people shut the blinds and hide under their bed. Suicide/Depression is cancer for the soul and needs to be heard.

 

[baronessvon]

Family and friends know I am depressed (hospitalized for a suicide attempt back in March). They don't know I browse pro-choice forums or that I'm likely to ctb before the end of the year.-

 

[Cakes]

People talk about cancer all day, but utter the 'S' word and people shut the blinds and hide under their bed. Suicide/Depression is cancer for the soul and needs to be heard.

Wow, that's so very true! Cancer for the soul! We definitely should be able to express more easily without such harsh judgement.

 

[nolongerhuman]

My immediate family knows I used to want to ctb in the past, but they don't know about my current plans, they'd put me away somewhere if they did. Anyone outside of that and current therapists may or may not know I get sad sometimes, but not much more than that. After an unfortunate outpatient experience I've decided the less said, the better.