Discussion Do you wish to not want to die?

[kvorumese]

The title is the question. Do you want to not want to die? Do you want something to motivate you to continue desiring to live? Or are you perhaps the opposite, and you try to swipe away anything that could portray life in a positive light?

I'm the latter. I am tired of being here and I don't want anything to make me want to stay

 

[ijustwishtodie]

No, I do want to die. My issues are with existence itself so why would I want to not escape life? Death is the escape from life which is precisely why I want to be dead

 

[loneloser]

I've already swiped everything away. I believe I don't deserve to be happy or live any longer. I pushed away my only online 'friends' which I don't even know if I can call them that but it is what it is.

I don't think I want to get better at this point, I'm too far gone to be 'saved'. I'm broken.

 

[Permanoir]

I'm the former but all of the problems that I have gone through were caused by things that I are out of my control and it's sad that there's nothing at this point that could convince me that my life is worth living

 

[dontwakemeup]

I just wish to close my eyes forever and never wake up! I don't want an afterlife, please skip over me and let me sleep forever! For those who wish to continue life forever, please allow them but leave me out of the group message

 

[Forever Sleep]

I feel stuck here while my Dad is still alive so, in that sense, I'd like life to feel less like an ordeal the majority of the time.

Eventually though, I feel certain I do want to CTB. I truly think it is my best option. So, I don't want to lose the desire to end things early.

Still- I also don't exacly want to experience death as such. It's just something horrible most likely that I'm going to need to accept trying if I truly want out of this shit show.

 

[crocune]

I wish to not want to die, I wish I could break out of the circumstances thats causing me to want to die

 

[Darkover]

no i don't want to exist in such terrible created universe with circumstance as atrocious as these

 

[kunikuzushi]

No I hope I never find something to get me attached to life. Anytime I find myself enjoying something I get bad anxiety thinking it will make my death more difficult.

 

[Ashes of a Dreamer]

If my life were different, maybe I could want to live; considering what I have, though, idk why I didn't CTB earlier.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

no i don't want to exist in such terrible created universe with circumstance as atrocious as these

Thank you for this. I don't know why the fuck people want to live in a world like this though I guess most people operate on how life can benefit them only. This world is so awful as there is suffering happening to sentient beings every second. Right this second, there are animals being torn apart or getting their body screwed by parasites or a human being trafficked. And yet apparently we're the insane ones for wanting to not be alive in a world like this!? No, I consider myself to be the rational one here by saying that life is a stupid game and I want no part of it. My intelligence and knowledge about life prohibits me from playing this game any longer. Once you get smart enough to understand tic tac toe, it has no playability anymore as that game is for stupid beings.

Another issue is that I'd probably be called a narcissist or arrogant for acting like my views are rational and the truth. Firstly, I'm not saying my truth is unarguable as you have to argue the truth and, if I ever get any valid counterarguments, I'll accept that. Secondly, yes, I will be honest and claim that I'm definitely more rational than those who are still stuck with their god delusions or their pro life delusions or their ego of "I'm worth all of the suffering and I'm important". Sorry but I'm going to call a delusion for what it is. I have no interest in sugarcoating the truth. You're either for the truth or for the lies and most people are not for the truth as they want to be selective in what they believe in so that they feel a certain way. It sucks that, because of this, a peaceful death is far more difficult to obtain but, alas, once I get out of here, I don't have to deal with any more bullshit.

The problem is existence itself, not me. Just because the current culture and society doesn't accept that doesn't make me invalid. Society believe in what they do because they've been indoctrinated to believe in this, not because it's the objective truth.

 

[Jisatsu]

I'm polyamorous and I have 2 partners, leaving them behind is what hurts me most.
But my pain weighs so much even compared to the love I have for them.

 

[platypus77]

I wish to live, just not this life.
I was able to create purpose for my existence, for brief periods of time.

 

[Roadrunner]

I absolutely wish I could take a magic pill and have my life turn around and be happy, but too many bad financial and relationship decisions during the last 30 years has done too much damage. The anxiety, depression, and general unhappiness is nearing all I can endure

 

[FuneralCry]

No, all I want is to permanently cease existing and never suffer ever again, I have no interest in being burdened with this cruel, futile existence and the thought of suffering until old age is really horrific and unbearable to me, all I personally hope for is the peace of an eternal dreamless sleep where all is finally forgotten about, non-existence is all I personally see as desirable and it's all that's positive for me. Only non-existence can solve what I personally see as the true problem which is existence itself, to me existence really does feel like a mistake and I find it tragic how this existence that just caused suffering all for the sake of it was even imposed at all, I'd always prefer to not exist but more than anything I wish I never suffered in this existence at all, if it's up to me I'd choose to permanently erase my existence, I just wish for peace from the torturous burden of human existence.

 

[Darkover]

Thank you for this. I don't know why the fuck people want to live in a world like this though I guess most people operate on how life can benefit them only. This world is so awful as there is suffering happening to sentient beings every second. Right this second, there are animals being torn apart or getting their body screwed by parasites or a human being trafficked. And yet apparently we're the insane ones for wanting to not be alive in a world like this!? No, I consider myself to be the rational one here by saying that life is a stupid game and I want no part of it. My intelligence and knowledge about life prohibits me from playing this game any longer. Once you get smart enough to understand tic tac toe, it has no playability anymore as that game is for stupid beings.

Another issue is that I'd probably be called a narcissist or arrogant for acting like my views are rational and the truth. Firstly, I'm not saying my truth is unarguable as you have to argue the truth and, if I ever get any valid counterarguments, I'll accept that. Secondly, yes, I will be honest and claim that I'm definitely more rational than those who are still stuck with their god delusions or their pro life delusions or their ego of "I'm worth all of the suffering and I'm important". Sorry but I'm going to call a delusion for what it is. I have no interest in sugarcoating the truth. You're either for the truth or for the lies and most people are not for the truth as they want to be selective in what they believe in so that they feel a certain way. It sucks that, because of this, a peaceful death is far more difficult to obtain but, alas, once I get out of here, I don't have to deal with any more bullshit.

The problem is existence itself, not me. Just because the current culture and society doesn't accept that doesn't make me invalid. Society believe in what they do because they've been indoctrinated to believe in this, not because it's the objective truth.

"Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. That's what's insane about it." john lennon

 

[Shadows From Hell]

Nah, I've seen everything I want to see, been through every emotional rollercoaster there is, had all my ups and downs. The positive always turned into a negative. The negatives never turned into positives.

I'm done. I'm just to tired to fight my inner demons anymore.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

I don't want to live, I want to stop suffering, that's the deal. Plus I lost interest in life so I think just dying would catch 2 birds with one stone.

 

[NinjaCobraKiller]

Do you wish to not want to die?

Hmm, I think
I dont know ://

 

[3FailedAttemptss]

I think I don't want to want to die, it's more that recently I've sort of had two long standing illusions shattered for me that kind of kept me going and allowed me to brush off any negative feelings I was having as temporary and I would've attain happiness eventually. Having now achieved both the things I was working really hard for for years, the illusion of happiness at the end of the tunnel that I was working really hard for was just that, an illusion. Turns out I'm really just not able to feel happy and a traditional sense and having realized that - it's kinda hard to find a reason to keep going.

So I wish I could go back to that ignorance of thinking there would be something that would finally make me happy but realizing more and more that that's not the case it's sort of difficult to wanna live ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡