Do you want to die alone?

[donxtwait]

for me, i honestly know i don't. well, i'm schizoid but a very tragic life brought me to this point. but despite that i still watch my favorite movies and tv shows from the years and if not sober because i'm depressed as fuck otherwise, when i'm high i feel like i'm able to idolize not just the people but the friendships and relationships i see through my tv screen or hear through music through my earphones.

i've reached the point beyond repair, i don't want this life and i don't see me returning to a type of "normal" person. today i started thinking of a new plan for suicide that i can succeed that involves me saving up money. so, my reality is i'll probably die alone unless i'm talking to someone online in my final moments.

i can't obviously talk to anyone irl who'd attempt at ruining my plans. possibly an online friend wouldn't or couldn't but still risky. the only friend i could talk to is one who agrees with my right to die or at the very least wouldn't stop me from doing so if it's what i want. but in the end it likely will be me and music on my way out. or an imaginary friend i suppose lol.

my relationship isn't perfect with my entire family, but me and my mother are typically great, good, or alright. if euthanasia was a possibility, i wouldn't mind leaving this earth surrounded with my family and a close cousin of mine. and maybe a friend i haven't been able to stay in touch with as much because of my depression but she's struggled as well so she gets it and we always have been able to pick up where we left off if we do. i wouldn't really want any other family outside of my household besides one cousin of mine too who i also have lost touch with because of my depression but know she's still there for me and i could call her anytime… but i can't because where i'm stuck at because of my disability and depression and self hatred.

this is a bit of an expansion of my question (never mind it just further helped me come to conclude my own answer), but honestly i wish i'd had another life. i don't want reincarnation to exist because i don't know what all that could entail and i couldn't bear ever feeling so much pain and hurt again after this. but i really wish i had had a different life like the ones i watched in some of my favorite films and listened about in the stories in my songs and i didn't have a lot of troubling, horrible, tragic, and scary things happen to me that led me to being so alone and mentally depressed and ill. i wish i had a life where i wasn't writing something like this in my room right now at 22 at 10:30am about to share this on a site i might not have ever heard about if i had this other life where none of these tragic things happened to me and i wasn't who i was.

but i can't see my soul ever wanting to live again in another life after this one.

in conclusion, it's a hard question that i can't just say yes or no to personally because…

in this life it's better and more probable for me to die alone.

but i don't truly in my heart want to die alone.

ok, my answer is i don't want to die alone. (i didn't know my answer until i thought this through.)

 

[f1lth]

i dont want to die alone but i think that's the only option unfortunately

 

[outlook56]

I don't want to share my pain with anyone and break someone else's heart so that i can send a small message and say goodbye without seeing him.

 

[Need Peace]

Same. I wish I could die surrounded by loved ones, but that's not reality.

 

[TransilvanianHunger]

Yes. I can't imagine anything else, actually. I wouldn't want the people I care about having to sit through my death, and I find a lot of peace and comfort in being by myself. I feel like peace and comfort would be a good think to have in my final moments, so dying alone would be the way to do it.

 

[Scythe]

I don't want to die alone, but it's for the best. I can talk to online friends while I attempt, but I'm not sure how they would feel about it. That and what if the authorites track my phone and other complications. I'll say goodbye beforehand anyways, better to go the journey alone.

 

[Dida]

You are born alone and you are destined to die alone.

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

Yes. I would like to reflect over my life in my last moments. I would also hope for my last moments to be relatively serene but that's likely too much to ask for.

 

[borderline-feline]

I want everyone in my life to hate me before I die (especially my favorite person) so they won't be stuck with pain from losing me. I'm enough of a disappointment in life; I don't wanna be one in death too.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

If I died naturally I probably wouldn't want to die alone. But as there is no general acceptance of CTB I'd rather die alone if I have to go that route.

 

[Old Friend]

Alone if, probably when, I ctb. It'd be nice to die at home surrounded by loved ones but that ain"t gonna happen.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

Dying in my bed alone with the family near by. Couldn't care really, just don't want any drama with the body.

 

[Agon321]

I want to die alone. Because I'm going to be alone with death and I want to experience it myself. I don't know what awaits me on the other side, but I want to be optimistic and I hope I won't have any regrets.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, I would ideally like to fall into an peaceful eternal sleep far away from other people.