Do you think you'll ever ctb?

[MiMif]

Like a lot of people on here I've seen have some reservations about ctbing. Mainly being they don't want their loved ones to be sad and fear of failing and ending up hospitalized or permanently disabled.

So do you think you'll ever actually do it or will you just drag yourself through life hoping to die from natural causes sooner rather than later?

Im pretty sure I will ctb...but I've tried like 10x none serious enough to need hospilization but each one failed. I wanna die so bad it's gotten to the point I've started drawing my dead body in different scenarios during class. (Cannobolism, ripped apart, shredded, etc) I wanna die so bad but I wonder if I'll ever succeed.

 

[Ariii]

I hope so, but honestly, probably not. I have zero pain tolerance and almost no access to methods besides of jumping in front of a car. Plus itll probably ruin my life if I fail. Hopefully something will push me over the edge sometime

 

[MiMif]

I hope so, but honestly, probably not. I have zero pain tolerance and almost no access to methods besides of jumping in front of a car. Plus itll probably ruin my life if I fail. Hopefully something will push me over the edge sometime

Honestly whenever I go outside I hope a random psycho just stabs me like crazy with a knife

 

[Ariii]

Honestly whenever I go outside I hope I random psycho just stabs me like crazy with a knife

I can relate, one of my favorite daydreams is to be murdered or to die from an accident or sudden illness

 

[PeterRabbit28064212]

i feel like ctb is inevitable for me tbh. i dont know exactly when but i've been considering it ever since i was 12 and even though i keep pushing my "deadline" further and further out as i get older i am certain one day will arrive where it is actually my time. that or i just die in a car crash at a young age like the good lord intended lmao.

 

[divinemistress36]

I want to so bad but SI instincts strong and I'm not smart enough to figure out how to ctb

 

[MiMif]

I want to so bad but SI instincts strong and I'm not smart enough to figure out how to ctb

Same

 

[tpboy]

Sadly i do not think i have much choice in the matter.

 

[MiMif]

Sadly i do not think i have much choice in the matter.

Why not?

 

[fuzzy-clown]

Once I can go without feeling like I've abandoned my responsibilities, I likely will.

 

[tpboy]

Why not?

My injuries and subsequent disease {MND}. It makes life more and more unbearable every day.

 

[MiMif]

My injuries and subsequent disease {MND}. It makes life more and more unbearable every day.

That must suck...so do you have trouble moving?
Ngl I had to look up mnd...is it like being partially paralyzed or something? If so you might be able to try SN or something

 

[BlazingBob]

Sadly i do not think i have much choice in the matter.

Same here. My health problems have made the decision for me. My body is torturing me with no end in sight. I'll be homeless later this year. Nowhere to turn. Financially ruined. Suicide is not what I want but neither is living in this disease ridden, decaying meat suit.

 

[dinosavr]

Sometimes I feel like I'm fooling myself and that I'm too much of a coward to actually do it. But I'm too young and healthy to expect anything else to happen before it all gets too tiring. So I'm almost sure I will ctb one day

 

[Abyssal]

Oh absolutely. Even if I get to my date and decide I'd rather live, I'll just get worse again later. I am going to ctb at one point or another and the only thing that can stop that is getting in an accident and dying without any control

 

[sorlox]

I've reached my point of no return a long time ago. Anxiety + depression quacked my life and mindset up really hard. And i have to do it, before i lose my chance. I've never felt so determined about anything else. At this point, i'm just a freak, who is obsessed with idea of kms

 

[UnwillingSavior]

Definitely. I already have my equipment ready for my date. I've been actively sabotaging myself and being a complete degenerate. Might as well indulge in stupid pleasures before I go. But, I'm trying not to hurt anyone around me. Really, I'm giving myself as many reasons as possible to go through with it. Because a pos like me deserves it.

 

[MiMif]

Definitely. I already have my equipment ready for my date. I've been actively sabotaging myself and being a complete degenerate. Might as well indulge in stupid pleasures before I go. But, I'm trying not to hurt anyone around me. Really, I'm giving myself as many reasons as possible to go through with it. Because a pos like me deserves it.

Hopefully you find peace in whichever way you see fit. Also just a little reminder.

Sometimes the broken ones are the most beautiful.

Don't be too hard on yourself

 

[FuneralCry]

The reality is that not everyone is privileged enough to be able to access the option of a reliable suicide in the first place, it's very evil how humans wish to do all they can to make suicide inaccessible. It's disgusting and hellish how we exist in such an anti-suicide society where humans get so obsessed with prolonging the suffering of others, trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse suffering is exactly what I fear, it's beyond horrifying how such a thing could happen.
I really despise how we cannot just choose to fall asleep eternally, it's unacceptable how suicide isn't as straightforward as just choosing to be gone

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't think I can now but maybe I can soon

 

[Himeasa]

The prospect of SN has given me the hope that I could actually follow through. It feels so tangible now.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It depends completely on my circumstances whether CTB is inevitable sooner or later or not. I would prefer to live but when circumstances require it then I have a method.

 

[bluebird16]

If I pluck up the courage to go through with drowning.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

Definitely Won't lie though, there are times when I doubt it myself. I dont know if it's the SI talking or my mind just magnifying the resistance.
There are times as well when, even if the sequence of the day was exactly the same as yesterday, it doesn't feel as bad.
While CTB does provide a strange comfort in a way, knowing that I can opt out at any time, that's where the danger in sticking to the CTB plan lies, at least for me.
It's like when I was younger and I'd procrastinate doing something because I wanted to do something else or because I initially thought something was "hard".

 

[borderlinee]

I think if I continue to be suicidal, I will eventually do it, whether it's in a couple of years or when I'm 50. Tho I've never had an attempt due to survival instincts. I plan to take my life someday before I start getting old and have a bunch of health problems.

 

[tpboy]

That must suck...so do you have trouble moving?
Ngl I had to look up mnd...is it like being partially paralyzed or something? If so you might be able to try SN or something

I do have trouble moving. I spend all 24 hrs in bed. I can move some but can not ever seem to get comfortable.

 

[the_last_race]

I don't think so... I always lack the balls to do the thing, no mater what it is.

 

[wanttodie]

I hope so

 

[onbekend]

Hopefully

 

[xmissellax]

I think it was going to be inevitable for me. I've never attempted but when I do I want to make absolutely sure I go, even if that means combining two methods. I don't think I was ever meant to grow old. Growing old with ill health one of my biggest fears anyway as a chronically ill person who's just going to get worse and worse. I'm really holding out hope for the prospect of SN, even though some of the horror stories from that have scared me a bit. If that doesn't work, I'll jump off a bridge and drown.