Do you think you can assess whether someone is serious about suicide and could go through with it?

[noname223]

After the last self-help group session I had a deep talk with a woman about suicide. Afterwards she hugged me. She initiated the conversation. I am often quite open about my suicidality in the group and I think she liked that. I think she wanted to know my opinion on some suicide related questions because it seems like they consider me a suicide expert. I also told in that group that I had contact with people online who committed suicide eventually.

She seemed to be the overthinking kind of person. I think I am the same and we both never attempted. But my pain and suicidality level seem to be much higher. I had the thought I cannot imagine that this woman could go through with at least in her current condition. Of course I did not express that loudly.

Personally, sometimes I question whether I am able to kill myself I am not impulsive enough but I am quite rational. My life is a nightmare I think I gonna kill myself when my mom dies, gets dementia or ends up a nursing case because of her strokes. My mom told me today she feels quite horrible and could die any time. I think she exaggerated it a little bit. -> she is not suicidal.

I had a guilty conscience for questioning her (the self-help group woman's) suicidality. It was sort of judgemental but I think many have those thoughts sometimes. However, rationally I think I am not very skilled to evaluate that. I had a meeting with a bipolar dad in another self-help group. Several members of his family committed suicide. He attempted several times in a serious way and I could see it in his eyes he was deadly serious and there was no hope. I think he still lives though.

I took the suicidal woman very serious and I treated her as very serious suicidal case because I am aware I cannot read her mind. I gave her the advice I would give myself. Go to a day care clinic if you get very suicidal. I think she was overthinking her decision to go to a clinic. The day care clinics were very good where I went to.

 

[finallydone]

there is no way to tell if a person is serious about attempting suicide, think about it, most of what a "truly suicidal" person goes through is in his own head

 

[chester]

She told me today she feels quite horrible and could die any time. I think she exaggerated it a little bit.

Well, depends what you mean. I also feel I could die any time, meaning I feel quite confident that if I found out I was going to die soon I would celebrate rather than panic. It doesn't mean that I'm ready to kill myself in the slightest. I just wish I was dead.

By what you described, she appears to be fed up with her life and is simply exploring her options. Unless she was asking very specific, technical questions.

 

[noname223]

Well, depends what you mean. I also feel I could die any time, meaning I feel quite confident that if I found out I was going to die soon I would celebrate rather than panic. It doesn't mean that I'm ready to kill myself in the slightest. I just wish I was dead.

By what you described, she appears to be fed up with her life and is simply exploring her options. Unless she was asking very specific, technical questions.

No my mom does not want to commit suicide. She meant by a stroke. Maybe my text was confusing.

 

[chester]

No my mom does not want to commit suicide. She meant by a stroke. Maybe my text was confusing.

I must be tired and didn't read carefully enough. My bad.

 

[Forever Sleep]

No, I don't think it's possible to tell. Also- I imagine people not taking someone seriously about how bad they feel- even if they weren't that set on suicide may well push them closer to do it I would think. Because it's another example of how people don't care enough about them to take them seriously.

To be honest, I can't even be sure that I'll do it! I hope I will. I think it's my best option- ultimately. So long as I don't mess it up.

But, suicide is complicated. I think the desire to do it can be equally strong in someone who does end up doing it and someone else who doesn't. It's not fair- to my mind to tell someone they can't be feeling all that bad. (Not that you would do that.) Surely, it's the want to do it we should feel compassion for? It shows their life is that bad that they're considering a risky, painful action to just try and stop it.

It's actually those hotlines that seem to focus on whether the person has a plan. A colleague of mine once rang one and when they'd established she had no plan or immediate access to a method, they seemed to lose interest!

 

[dinosavr]

I believe most of us can't even assess it for ourselves so I think it's impossible to judge whether someone else is capable of actually doing it. Even if you seem to know them very well.

 

[killorbekilled]

Do you ever know the choice you make before you make it? In the end it just depends on what goes through that person's head, and whether they will regret it or not.