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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,365
So I had this date last Thursday with the chemistry master student of my self-help group. She likes that she can open up to me about any topic. She thinks I am so non-judgemental.

She told me she was really suicidal some months ago and was scared to open up to her therapist about it. I was uncertain how dangerous it actually was. I considered she might mixed up a deadly cocktaiI to kill herself. She told me she has that knowledge.

In the end she did cutting. And I was like in my head okay it was no serious attempt. And I think it was not an actual attempt she rather considered to cut deeper.
I knew the likelihood to die from cutting is roughly 2%. But I did not say that to her. I rather had a guilty conscience because I considered it harmless in my head.
Maybe she does not have this knowledge. For her it must have felt very dangerous.
 
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avalokitesvara

avalokitesvara

bodhisattva
Nov 28, 2024
162
I don't think it's useful to think this way. I think for people like us who are long term suicidal and also interested in it as a topic we know way more about it, methods, fatality, and so on. For the average person who maybe hasn't had long term suicidality, or it's their first experience of it, even thinking seriously about it or doing an attempt (even if it is a low lethality thing like cutting) is a huge deal for them. They don't know that cutting or medication OD don't really work. If you saw tv and movies you'd think you could gently waft a razor at your wrists or take a handful of pills and die just like that. To take the mental leap to do something you THINK is lethal is still "serious". Most people think it's like amazingly serious and shocking to even have thoughts about suicide. We have a warped perspective compared to the general population lol

This is why I've never attempted lol. I know that when I decide to do it that will be it, I will make 100% sure it works. One and done. And I've never quite gone to the place where that's what I want yet.
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,885
There probably are such things as suicide gestures. There have even been members here questioning methods that would seem real to others but would actually pose little to no risk to them. So- 'cries for help' would be the (kind of insulting) term I expect 'normies' would label them as. Which in itself I think is pretty sad really. That person is literally that desperate and that ignored that a vocal ask for help is no longer cutting it so- they feel the need to do something that extreme.

Did she need medical assistance after cutting? Did she tell anyone even? If not- then, it may well have been a severe form of self harm where she felt ok with the possibility of dying. Almost like when people taste a small amount of SN on impulse... Maybe. Or, maybe she really thought it would work. Movies make it look so easy.

I think it's only the person themself that knows for sure what it was though. Does an impulsive act of desperation deserve less sympathy than a 'genuine' suicide attempt though? It's still pretty bad I would have thought. Still, I expect we all make these judgements. I suppose society teaches us to.

I think there are different sorts of psychologies around attempts also. I knew someone who tried to overdose twice on OTC medication. I found that weird because again- I was thinking- that's so unlikely to work. They said their frame of mind was just desperate though. Just a desperate need to do something I suppose. Maybe it was more along the lines of self harm. That didn't make sense to me if the actual intention was to die but then- they didn't understand my calm, rational approach either- that I'd want to be more confident in a method before trying it. To their mind, they were the more genuinely suicidal person because- at least they'd made attempts. I think we're maybe all a bit quick to judge other people.
 
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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,365
There probably are such things as suicide gestures. There have even been members here questioning methods that would seem real to others but would actually pose little to no risk to them. So- 'cries for help' would be the (kind of insulting) term I expect 'normies' would label them as. Which in itself I think is pretty sad really. That person is literally that desperate and that ignored that a vocal ask for help is no longer cutting it so- they feel the need to do something that extreme.

Did she need medical assistance after cutting? Did she tell anyone even? If not- then, it may well have been a severe form of self harm where she felt ok with the possibility of dying. Almost like when people taste a small amount of SN on impulse... Maybe. Or, maybe she really thought it would work. Movies make it look so easy.

I think it's only the person themself that knows for sure what it was though. Does an impulsive act of desperation deserve less sympathy than a 'genuine' suicide attempt though? It's still pretty bad I would have thought. Still, I expect we all make these judgements. I suppose society teaches us to.

I think there are different sorts of psychologies around attempts also. I knew someone who tried to overdose twice on OTC medication. I found that weird because again- I was thinking- that's so unlikely to work. They said their frame of mind was just desperate though. Just a desperate need to do something I suppose. Maybe it was more along the lines of self harm. That didn't make sense to me if the actual intention was to die but then- they didn't understand my calm, rational approach either- that I'd want to be more confident in a method before trying it. To their mind, they were the more genuinely suicidal person because- at least they'd made attempts. I think we're maybe all a bit quick to judge other people.
She was very vague about it. Though she did not need medical help. I am not sure about the details.
 
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