Do you think the pain is greater if...

[DefinitelyReady]

Do you think the mental pain is worse, or better, to experience if the circumstances that caused your pain are solely your fault? or not necessarily?

I've had things happen to me, but not anything that anyone else couldn't process and bounce back from like anyone else. So I'd say my condition is essentially caused by me... I wonder for those whose condition was caused by something/someone else, if your pain is greater or worse knowing what lies beneath it?

 

[N33dT0D13]

...I think worse. I'm the cause of a lot of my problems and it's fucking humiliating and draining.

 

[Grimpoteuthis]

I don't think they are comparable. Self caused pain is usually accompanied by guilt, while pain caused by circumstances is paired with resent. Both are terrible in their own ways.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

I was abused and neglected for much of my childhood. I always blamed myself because it was much less painful than acknowledging that my own parents had done this to me.

I really don't know why. I suspect it's to hold on to some kind of feeling of control/power (if I was not responsible for what happened to me, then I was powerless and that is terrifying)

The mind is a mysterious thing

 

[Saturn_]

A whole lot worse in my opinion. The brightest of days become a whole lot darker once you can't even justify your own happiness. I stopped being able to appreciate the good times because they are overshadowed by the fact that I am a bad person. A long time ago, I think I used to be different. Even if life was difficult, I could still persevere through the acknowledgment that I didn't deserve what I was going through. When I look back at all the mistakes that I caused, I can't help but think, why do I even continue to be alive if I'll just keep making things worse?

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Yes, I have participated in causing myself trauma and it does sting more.