Do you think that it was always inevitable that you would ctb? And that it was always going to end this way? Like you were predestined to eventually do it
In my case I've always found comfort in death, suicide feels like the only rational thing to wish for to me, wanting to die is all I really know. But sadly it's just not that straightforward for everyone to cease existing in such a way, it would be a relief if it is.
Not necessarily ctb, but I thought a few times when I was a kid that I don't want to live past about the age of 45. just seems like an ideal age to go before getting old. coincidentally 40s is the age range for the highest suicide rate.
I don't remember ever being happy to be alive, maybe when I was a toddler. I remember around age 7 or 8 feeling that I wish I wasn't alive. I didn't really know about suicide or understand it until I was about 13, and that's when I made my first attempt. (I grew up in the 80s so I didn't have internet or social media to influence or teach me about it.) I'm in my 40s now and I know I will not make it to 50 - more than likely I will do it this year.
Not necessarily ctb, but I thought a few times when I was a kid that I don't want to live past about the age of 45. just seems like an ideal age to go before getting old. coincidentally 40s is the age range for the highest suicide rate.
When I was a kid I didn't want to live past the age of 18. I didn't do anything about it, so I ended up living until this day. I never wanted to reach 23 but I did as well. My firm exit point is 25. I don't want to get old, I want to die young
When I was a kid I didn't want to live past the age of 18. I didn't do anything about it, so I ended up living until this day. I never wanted to reach 23 but I did as well. My firm exit point is 25. I don't want to get old, I want to die young
I don't think I knew it would ac get to this but then again I feel I did. Cause I've always had suicide pop up in my mind and I had a breakdown before and I wanted to suicide and then thought I found myself and then boom here I am again back in a dark pit. So yes it's always in the end been inevitable I feel.
I mean I didn't know as a kid. Had I grown up around people who accepted me and treated me as an equal then I probably wouldn't CTB. I've known that I'll CTB since I was 12.
Personally I found death to be comforting, but I think as my life went on I walked down this path and now I have given my self one year to see if life gets better or I will CTB
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