N

noname223

Angelic
Aug 18, 2020
4,979
It is important to differentiate between interpersonal and existential loneliness. I am not an expert but I have found a website which described it very well.


Here are the characteristcs of each one.

Characteristics Interpersonal Loneliness
  1. Lack of relationships, separation, isolation
  2. Stems from being alone; social causes
  3. Dependent on the rise and fall of relationships
  4. Limited to the interpersonal aspect of life
  5. Can be solved through communication, closeness, love
Characteristics of Existential Loneliness
  1. Lack of wholeness or feeling incomplete in your being
  2. An incompleteness of the self, or inward source
  3. A permanent lack of completeness, even in love
  4. Overshadows every aspect of life; cannot be isolated
  5. Cannot be resolved through love; unfulfillment & incompleteness continue
I think both is true for me. I lack social interactions. My mania cynically increases when I am in real life around people. Though I have good friends, a family which cares for me and the people in this forum. I think I have the strong unfulfilled desire for a partner. I think this would decrease my interpersonal loneliness a lot when I had one. However I have the feeling that my illnesses make a healthy relationship almost impossibe. But I have to emphasize that I also relate a lot to existential loneliness.

I define what exist. loneliness means for me. Every human is in some sense alone no matter how much love he receives from other people.(in my opinion) Though I think some people are better in distracting themselves from that fact. In my opinion this existential loneliness stems from the fact that we are alone in our mind and in our skin. No matter how perfectly we describe our pain other people cannot feel it. We don't really know for sure how other people feel and whether our consciousness is completely different to them. I like to read David Foster Wallace. He quoted a famous author in an interview. Good literature/ Art shall comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable. I think this is kind of a good notion. In another interview he said literature is for him some sort of magic. It can make you feel as if you were in the skin/consciousness of someone else. DFW was brilliant in creating this feeling. I think this is one reason why I adore his work. It decreases my feeling of loneliness. But also when people in this forum relate to my posts I feel comforted.

Especially when I endured severe mental and psychosomatic torture I have realized no matter how accurate I describe my pain to another person the other person does not feel it. That someone listened to my words comforted me. A empathetic therapist in the clinic helped me a lot when I was really severely suicidal. It was like a valve for me. But at the same time I felt alienated from my environment. The pain was extremely intensive and I recognized the people around me just don't feel same way. Most people have not felt like this they probably did not even come close to it. I felt isolated but not in this interpersonal sense. In the clinic where I was I was at least surrounded by other human beings this helped a little bit. But my torture felt so unique and special. This thought was in some sense narcissistic. I started to read books which really comforted me. But there remains till today this feeling no matter how close I come to another person there is still this emptiness inside myself. This gap which is really hard to fill. I am not sure whether it is impossible to fill, I know some ways how I can cope with it. Trying to find a meaning in life. But there is always a part of me which is not satisfied with it.

What is your experience with these both types of lonelinesses. Tbh I think barely anyone will be interested in this thread. Ironically this could make me feel more lonely. But in other threads i get more replies.
 
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GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

Autistic loser
Jan 26, 2021
5,739
I want to kill myself.
 
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whatevs

whatevs

Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
Jan 15, 2022
2,914
I'm lonely but in a regular way. No friends, no gf kind of deal, feeling like you don't fit in anywhere. I'm having problems understanding what 'existential loneliness' is.
 
Bootleg Astolfo

Bootleg Astolfo

Glorious Bean Plushie
Oct 12, 2020
656
Im lonely to the point i became a
 
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S like suicide

S like suicide

Enlightened
Apr 29, 2021
1,436
I have both.
It's like having a huge void that nothing and no one can fill ... even in the midst of so many people you can't connect with others.
I think it's due to a primal lack of love ... when I was conceived and came into the world.
I think no one wanted me from the beginning and subconsciously you know it, you felt it deeply but the unconscious hid it to keep you surviving.
 
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Insomniac

Insomniac

𝔄 𝔲 𝔱 𝔦 𝔰 𝔪
May 21, 2021
1,357
existential loneliness is a fancy word for inauthenticity. most of us are fake in our daily interactions so it's normal to be lonely.
 
motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,086
I like to read David Foster Wallace. He quoted a famous author in an interview. Good literature/ Art shall comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable. I think this is kind of a good notion.

Too bad it's incredibly easy for the comfortable to avoid being disturbed by good literature/art. It's just boring, incomprehensible drivel to them, created by & for the disturbed, & they simply don't consume it. They don't give no shit about no existential loneliness & alienation, DFW & Kafka... Try handing out leaflets with this quote by one of your favorite authors to random strangers & observe their reactions. :ahhha:

quote-we-need-the-books-that-affect-us-like-a-disaster-that-grieve-us-deeply-like-the-death-franz-kafka-40-52-17.jpg
 
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bleedthefreak

bleedthefreak

Member
Mar 27, 2022
19
Yeah I'm lonely in both ways. Maybe it would change if I experienced more interpersonal relationships in my life, but human interactions seem so empty to me.

Everyone exists in their own universe and the people they interact with are just phantoms of another reality. You're never truly in unison with another person, no matter how close you are with them, you're still a side player in their life story.
 
onlyanimalsaregood

onlyanimalsaregood

Unlovable 💔 Rest in peace CommitSudoku 🤍
Mar 11, 2022
1,329
One of my biggest issues was always trying to deal with loneliness. It's a overwhelm feeling.
 
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
20,710
I have no idea what existentially lonely means but I am pretty lonely in general so I'm just going to pretend that existential loneliness means specifically being lonely because you can't hang out with alternate universe versions of yourself.

1649461260451

In which case, I think I'm actually content in that department. I already hate myself, why would I enjoy the company of other versions of myself?

Then again I do wish I had more people in my life I could relate to about every single thing in my life instead of just a small sample of things per person.
 
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lili

lili

Specialist
Feb 17, 2022
319
I have a lot of aquaintances, but I feel I suffer from eternal loneliness. I will never be able to mend the deep scar in my heart. I felt the piercing dagger of pain during my childhood, as my eyes opened to the reality of this cruel world. I keep chasing for a cure, a medicine to heal the wound forever, but it doesn't exist.

At the absence of others, my worst enemy is my only company: myself.
 
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