Discussion Do you struggle with body image? ED?

[Rustysoupcan]

Do you struggle with body image or eating disorders? I go back and forth between not caring and cutting calories. I definitely have issues with eating, but probably not enough to be considered an eating disorder.

 

[Celerity]

I am insecure about my body and face, but the degree of my insecurity is not unusual. I don't think it would rise to the level of dysmorphia. If I could afford plastic surgery, I might do it though.

 

[WornOutLife]

My ED sucks.
I have "dinner" at 2 in the morning.

I guess that's why I'm just getting fatter and fatter lol.

 

[BlankUser]

I always had warped body image. Huge "thanks" to my father, who body shamed me since I was 15 year old, at 18.5 BMI.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Goddamnit I genuinely thought that ED in this sense meant "erectile dysfunction" again.

But like I said last time there was a thread like this, I definitely do a lot of binge eating but just without any purging.

 

[FinalDestination]

I also struggle but not sure it would count as an ed. I go between relatively normal and restrictive. Right now I'm dealing with dysmorphia and I'm only eating one meal a day and even still feel nauseous at the thought of most food.

 

[restforeternity]

I will always find something about my physical appearance that I want to change. All the stress makes me look on the inside and then I get upset with myself because I'm typically not that vain. Its a never ending cycle with this relationship that I have with my body and soul.
I know this body of mine will either rot or burn when I expire. I can always do something about it yet nothing in life excites me anymore. I rollerblade in place of being stationary and feeling all these heavy emotions. Its feels great yet fleeting. By the time I come home, I still have to deal with my thoughts each time I see my reflection.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Yes but not connected.

The last time I mentioned my body problem no one (maybe 1?) person understood so I'd rather not go into that again.

As for my ED it's complex. I go through periods of 'i don't deserve to eat' and 'i want to get rid of this weight'. And sometimes I eat and eat and eat. Aside from mental eating problems I also have physical eating problems. I can honestly not be hungry for days at a time even though my stomach is growling. And sometimes my stomach feels sick 24/7 for days (cuz yeah I want to eat when I constantly feel sick and eating only makes it worse).

The best part I'm a self-proclaimed (judging by people's reactions and what I do know) slightly above average home chef/baker. The kitchen is my life, I love everything about food. The prepping, cooking.... And watching other people enjoy. I lack interest in the eating part of food. Doesn't matter how good it is I'm probably going to have something manufactured and 'gross' (in comparision) after making a big meal. I've literally watched myself make my husband a steak and then I myself made a completely different meal of Mr noodles (raman).

So yeah my relationship with food is a " meh, meal by meal" thing. I might eat, I might not.

Stomachs don't even make sense. "I'm gonna whine and hurt because that's gonna make you feed me faster" no stomach, food doesn't magically appear because you're pissed off.

 

[BandAddict]

I hate this body. I've exhibited disordered eating since 13, turned into a full-blown ED at 16. 2020 was when it really went off the rails, started all-in recovery in December.

I can't accept my recovered body. I'm relapsing pretty hard right now, I feel like there's no point. Body dysmorphia distorts my view of myself, so no matter what I have more to lose. And I can't handle the constant triggers and feeling shamed for trying to set boundaries. I can't fucking do it. If I CTB soon anyway, why the hell does it matter?

 

[whywere]

Heavens..YES!! I am 6foot 2 inches tall, and ultra small built, I look like a stick figure. BUT I know that there is so much more than just physical apperance and same here with all of us, please do not zing me for including everyone..please, we are a family were looks should not matter and it is the loving and caring person inside that really counts 100%. Like me, I wear my heart on my sleeve and love and care for everyone, so just becasue I look like a bean pole, so what?! We are ALL beautiful and LOVING and CARING , that is WHAT matters! Walter ( the old person here!)

 

[nightnightnitrite]

I feel the same way though I never counted calories, just found it easier to simply not eat at all if I'm going out and people will see me. I only purge after eating at home as well. I don't get hair on my arms or legs anymore, my hair on top of my head has thinned out, I don't get my period and I don't have enough energy so I sleep 12+ hours sometimes. Doctors always said I was the perfect weight as I never went into details with them about any of my eating habits but I am the textbook version of a healthy weight so technically I don't have a problem:)

 

[Dutchyala]

I have a problem with posture and how I dress and produce myself. It's a different issue but a constant source of stress for me. As an autistic person I have no natural notion of these things and just want to feel comfortable. I think I learned to emulate others socially but everytime I'm in front of others I become self-aware of myself, trying so hard to look "normal" and it's one of the reasons I hate going out.

I was often pointed out when younger so my intrusive thoughts keep bothering me about it. Everytime I have to see my doctors I start worrying days ahead about the hours waiting in front of others and wondering what they will be thinking of me.