Discussion Do you like the way you look?

[torturedmind]

I've always struggled to accept my appearance. Sometimes I want to die because I hate what I see when I look in the mirror. I know looks are superficial and not important in the grand scheme of things. Still, appearance is highly valued in society, and can affect our experiences in life. Just curious how you all feel about your appearance, and if it contributes to your desire to ctb. Also, if you had to pick one thing about your appearance that you like/hate the least, what would it be? I think I would pick my eyes.

 

[offbalance]

I'm conventionally attractive (so I've been told) but I still want to die so no looks aren't everything. I would say I like my eyes the most and my nose the least.

 

[Dejected 55]

When I was younger I was sure I was ugly. I look back at those times and realize I wasn't. I was never handsome, but I wasn't ugly. I carry a bit too much weight now, but when I was in better shape my life was pretty much the same as now... so... if anything, I learned I probably am never as ugly as I feel and it hasn't really mattered in my life whether I was or wasn't ugly. I was just doomed for other reasons.

 

[somethingisntreal]

I get you. I'm objectively unattractive which contributes to my self hatred, which in turn is one of my reasons to ctb.

I hate it when people say that pretty privilege doesn't exist because it's very much real. The only reason I can interact with people is because I'm nice to them. In fact, nice would be an understatement - I'm a total people pleaser. Its the only way I can feel wanted.

I do not consider myself a woman. I never went out with friends, dated, dressed up or clicked cute photos. I never learned how to do makeup because no amount of product would ever make me look normal. I feel so behind from all my peers. Women my age are getting high paying jobs, getting into comitted relationships, enjoying their lives. I still feel like the little girl sits by herself during playtime because no one like to play with a weirdo. I'm missing what feels like a fundamental part of being human.

Whenever I try to put some effort into my appearance, I end up giving up because there's no point of putting lipstick on a pig. If I wasn't a repulsive fleshbag already, I made it worse for myself by covering my legs with scars. I don't want to live in this body. There's not a single of part of me that I find pretty. I believe that all uglies should be sterilized so that we can protect our unborn kids from this miserable life.

 

[Leve]

Sometimes. It usually depends on how well I've been taking care of myself. When my hair is right and my face is clean and I have a good outfit I think I look nice. I've not had much problem finding relationships so I think others find me attractive as well. A lot of folks have called me ugly though. When I'm not taking the best care of myself and am depressed I find myself repulsive to look at in the mirror. Especially when my hair is bad.

 

[softtodie]

I'm ugly factually ugly my face structure is what messes my face up so unfortunately I'm stuck this way and it does make me hate myself a lot although it definitely isn't the sole reason for my self hatred and depression.

 

[MyShadow]

I've always struggled to accept my appearance. Sometimes I want to die because I hate what I see when I look in the mirror. I know looks are superficial and not important in the grand scheme of things. Still, appearance is highly valued in society, and can affect our experiences in life. Just curious how you all feel about your appearance, and if it contributes to your desire to ctb. Also, if you had to pick one thing about your appearance that you like/hate the least, what would it be? I think I would pick my eyes.

I looked in the mirror and the tall, good looking man that used to be there turned into an old man.
Grey hair. Circles under the eyes. I don't know how he got there.

It's not the years. It's the mileage.

 

[Forveleth]

I hated my appearance when I was younger because I was forced to wear things that my parents wanted me to wear. Once I moved away from home and started curating a wardrobe that I actually liked, I felt very good about my appearance. At the moment, I am not entirely thrilled with it as I am pretty fat, but if I was down to a healthy weight and somewhat in shape, I actually am very comfortable and even love how I look.

As far as what I hate about myself the least, probably my hair because I dye it all sorts of wild colors.

 

[witchcraft]

No, I am blind in one eye and even after corrective surgeries it is enough to prevent me from being attractive to most women. And attractiveness also plays a role in job searching as well. The way it makes me look has made life more difficult since I was a toddler than the ACTUAL being half-blind part; I played sports at a very competitive level for most of my life, and would consider myself as having gotten very good at numerous video games.

 

[Dejected 55]

Whenever I try to put some effort into my appearance, I end up giving up because there's no point of putting lipstick on a pig. If I wasn't a repulsive fleshbag already, I made it worse for myself by covering my legs with scars. I don't want to live in this body. There's not a single of part of me that I find pretty. I believe that all uglies should be sterilized so that we can protect our unborn kids from this miserable life.

Just replying to the last part of your post...

Scars are life. I don't have self-harm scars but I have a bunch from a previous surgery and some injuries. However you get your scars, anyone who loves you will not care about them. They will notice them, sure, and they will like to hear you talk about them if/when you are ready to share with that trusted person... but the scars will not turn anyone away from loving who you actually are.

Finding that person, is the nut I have yet to crack... so I can't help there.

Sterilizing all "ugly" people isn't how genetics work. There are countless handsome/pretty couples who have children considered to be less attractive. The reverse is very true too. Eliminating perceived ugly people doesn't stop perceived pretty people from making more... and, if being honest, might tend to make things worse. The same way in-breeding has less than desirable results over time, trying to arbitrarily eliminate people who look a certain way is going to result in unintended consequences too.

We feel how we feel about ourselves. Others feel however they feel about us. We rarely can impact those perceptions as much as we think.

 

[shampoo sniffer]

No. Living as a shut-in doesn't tend to benefit one's looks.

 

[witchcraft]

Just replying to the last part of your post...

Scars are life. I don't have self-harm scars but I have a bunch from a previous surgery and some injuries. However you get your scars, anyone who loves you will not care about them. They will notice them, sure, and they will like to hear you talk about them if/when you are ready to share with that trusted person... but the scars will not turn anyone away from loving who you actually are.

Finding that person, is the nut I have yet to crack... so I can't help there.

Sterilizing all "ugly" people isn't how genetics work. There are countless handsome/pretty couples who have children considered to be less attractive. The reverse is very true too. Eliminating perceived ugly people doesn't stop perceived pretty people from making more... and, if being honest, might tend to make things worse. The same way in-breeding has less than desirable results over time, trying to arbitrarily eliminate people who look a certain way is going to result in unintended consequences too.

We feel how we feel about ourselves. Others feel however they feel about us. We rarely can impact those perceptions as much as we think.

For what it may or may not be worth, just to add onto this comment in a roundabout way...

One need only look at the beauty standards in, say, South Korea. Beautiful women and handsome men are considered to be ugly in some way because the standards are just out of control. Body dysmorphia going real wild there.

Even if genetics did work that way as a purely hypothetical, today's gorgeous would become tomorrow's fugly.

 

[_Maya]

I'm self conscious about a lot of things about my appearance, my friends call me pretty and specifically compliment my hair but i can't tell if they're actually being honest to make me feel better xd

 

[Dejected 55]

I'm self conscious about a lot of things about my appearance, my friends call me pretty and specifically compliment my hair but i can't tell if they're actually being honest to make me feel better xd

That's fair. I always say that you can't depend on friends or family to tell you how you look to them, because if they care about you then they don't care how you look... and if they don't care, then you wouldn't value their input anyway.

You need that impartial third party who isn't related to you and isn't a friend, to look at you and want to keep looking at you.

That said... when I was a young teen and asked my mother if I was too ugly to have a girlfriend. Her reply was that she dated ugly guys. It kind of spoke volumes.

 

[endoftheroad45]

Not at all. Im unkempt and unattractive in my opinion. Ive always felt I was ugly, or disgusting.

 

[Kurwenal]

I don't think I'm actively ugly, per se, but I certainly wouldn't consider myself attractive, either. Probably whatever is a few steps below 'bland'. But in the end, I don't actually care.

I haven't been in a relationship in about 12, 13 years. I haven't been on a date in about 10. I don't intend to do either ever again.

It's a shame how we all see the grass being greener elsewhere. I am sorry to those who want to experience a relationship and are unable to. I hope one day they can achieve what they seek. For my part, I wish I had never had a relationship and never even been on a date. It only ever caused me suffering, all things told.

 

[Ashu]

I've always been happy with my face, unhappy with my flat chest. I became suicidally depressed over spots on my face as a teen, it was actually a factor in my first suicide attempt at fourteen. Similarly, since the age of thirty I have been deeply and suicidally fucked up about being circumcised. If the reptilian technocrats could get their hands on me, I'm sure they'd diagnose me with severe dysmorphophobia.

 

[32yroldloser]

i don't really care, i mean i did about a year ago, but ever since the start of this year, i don't really give any effort because i just want to ctb instead.

i guess i still have a lot of SI to mute before i can get the job done because i would just spend all the little money i have to cope but i think some of it was SI too.

 

[somethingisntreal]

Sterilizing all "ugly" people isn't how genetics work. There are countless handsome/pretty couples who have children considered to be less attractive. The reverse is very true too. Eliminating perceived ugly people doesn't stop perceived pretty people from making more... and, if being honest, might tend to make things worse. The same way in-breeding has less than desirable results over time, trying to arbitrarily eliminate people who look a certain way is going to result in unintended consequences too.

I have to agree. Sterilizing ugly people isn't the cure, I know. It's just something I convince myself to feel better about my situation. My parents aren't particularly "ugly" either. They're pretty average people and so is my sibling. Me however, was cursed with the undesirable genes.

 

[PI3.14]

Face? I'm content with it ig, not masculine but I don't mind it one bit. Height? I'm 5'4, one of the reasons I'll end my life.

 

[Upon a hanging Body]

At certain angles ... especially my face .