Discussion Do you intend to write a note? if so, what will you include/exclude?

[coolgal82]

I'm deciding whether or not to like write a note or something before i go. i have kots of stuff logged on discord in a kind of journal type way so maybe that would suffice? i just want everyone to like understand why i felt the need to make this choice and that it wasnt their fault and they couldntve prevented it, and like just how greatly i was suffering. but like part of me is also worried i might say something wrong in it and have the opposite effect, or miss something important, or that it just isnt worth the effort. what are your thoughts on this?

(i atleast also intend to write a scheduled tweet for my online friends, and a goodbye thread here with my experiences.)

 

[athiestjoe]

This is of course a very personal decision and there is no right or wrong thing to do in terms of notes I don't think. For me, I plan to explain the physical and mental anguish I've gone through in a general way, let the people who knows me know that they did not contribute to it nor should have known I was going to do this, that I want them all to lead a happy life and not worry about me as I am going to be at peace, that this was decision I did not make on a whim to reinforce that this was thought out and reflects my wishes. I am going to include a few lines of poetry as well. Then outside of the letter itself I plan to attach a page with all my banking logins and a copy of my will and any other information they may need. But I do plan to say that my final wish is that they truly move on knowing they had nothing to do with my decision, that I am at peace and I want them to have joy and laughter in their lives. I am wavering if I want to tell them to accept it as that may be too pushy but that is ultimately what I want them to do. I am working on a way to say "please accept my wishes and decision" without actually saying those words per se. It's a very different situation than if you were wanting to blame people for it (which I absolutely do not) but you aren't doing that either as I would have a really hard time ever pinning my own well thought out choice and decision onto someone else. I know it will be hard for some people to accept and move on so ultimately my goal is to just do my best. I originally wanted to write something very long but opted not to do that. Oh and yeah I am going to handwrite it vs typing it so at least it is in my writing to make it more personal so they can actually see I took the time to handwrite it for them which I hope gives them a little closure.

I am also interested to see what others have to say although OP you should also do a search on the forum as I've read a dozen or more similar posts/topics so this is a pretty discussed topic you may be able to find some suggestions on.

I'm sorry it has come to this point for you and I hope you find peace, serenity, and everything that you are looking for.

 

[danter0id]

I do.

one big note hitting a few points:
- to my loved ones, it's not your fault. I was suffering for many many years, since I was a child. short of a societal shift ensuring my continued access to money to survive for many more years, there is nothing that could have saved me.
- I did not "take my own life," I was killed by burnout and a broken society that will not take care of the disabled. I was killed by the expectation to "just try harder." I was killed by "you're not really that disabled, you're just lazy." I was killed by the hatred of society for autistic people and the denial of our autonomy. other people are being killed just as I am, disproportionately those more marginalized than I am.
- let this radicalize you towards community care. we live in the most technologically advanced, most bountiful time of our entire human history. we cannot continue to live like this. we will kill ourselves, each other, and the planet, with only the billionaires and their progeny left. the ones who can act must act.

one for my wife with everything she'll need after I'm gone. funeral arrangements (I am going to try to prebook), passwords to anything she'll need, bank accounts, any subscriptions or recurring charges she'll need to turn off. an extra message of love, just for her. an apology I couldn't stay longer.

and two more, one for each of my nephews, giving them life advice and reinforcing how much I will always love them.

 

[thenorthern]

I do, yes. Just to notify the authorities of what I had done and that no other person or entity was involved. I do not have any relatives to write.

 

[coolgal82]

Ok bonus question to anyone replying further, if you write a note where do you intend to leave it?

 

[Reflection]

I intend to leave two notes, one for my family and a scheduled message to my ex girlfriend...both are essentially heartfelt final goodbies and explain what ive been feeling and what essentially led to it etc...although in the case of my ex, Im afraid it will still lead to guilt even though I want to minimize any damage or hurt by telling her that none of it is her fault...but I cant do anyhting about that, I tried my hardest and she closed off her heart completely, and no matter what I did meant absolutely nothing to her once she decided on it...although I dont want to hurt anybody and im trying my best to minimize any impact.

The note to my family will be left on my laptop as a text file, I also have a personal blog that serves as a journal, I guess I'll leave that too.